Blood, Sweat, and Tears

Chapter Eight

"I'm not going in there, Yoongi," I take a step away from the door that leads to our father's office. I cross my arms over my chest, shaking my head at my brother.

It has been a few weeks since our father's funeral, and Yoongi thinks it's time to push the sadness away and get down to business. Our father's office has been locked since he passed away. It is a bit shocking to me that he's ready to look through all of father's things after only a few weeks.

I have yet to go back to university since the day the nurse came to get me. Instead I have been emailing all my professors, making sure that I keep up with all the work. That I get credit for doing work from the comfort of my bed. Going back hasn't even crossed my mind. The thought of being around people who would ask all different kinds of questions about what has gone on is more than I can handle.

These past few weeks haven't been all bad thoughts and stresses, though. My stitches have fully dissolved, and I have been allowed to go back to training. It has been nice to see Jimin on a daily basis again, as well as Hoseok much more often. I spend lunch in the kitchen to be with Seokjin. Even among the chaos, I feel a sense of peace in that area of the house. I've also spent a lot of time with Sooyoung in my room. Our dogs have loved the time together, and it's nice to spill my mind to her.

Yoongi has spent every dinner with me and tried to visit me multiple times throughout the day. He's been busy trying to have the transition of power be as smooth as possible, but that doesn't mean that he's distancing himself from me. In fact, we might be spending ever more time together. He'll come into my room before I go to bed, and he'll just hold me. Neither of us talks as we are just enjoying the other's presence. It helps me feel brave enough to attempt sleep, knowing it could be plagued with all kinds of nightmares.

My time with Taehyung has been limited, with us mainly talking on the chat room that he's hacked on my computer. There have been few times where we have met up in person. Usually sneaking away to the garden, and a few times to the library. He always turns down my offer to meet up in my room.

I have also spent a lot of time by myself. My balcony has become the best place to go when I don't want anyone to bother me. When I am out there, I can detach myself from reality, and go to a place of my fantasies. It helps me ward off panic attacks, get schoolwork done, and take naps without being tormented by nightmares. It is a place of peace when everywhere else has been hell.

"We have to go through his stuff, Areum," Yoongi sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "It has been three damn weeks now, you have to pull yourself together."

"Fucking hell, Yoongi," I glare at my brother. "If only it was that easy. To just pick yourself up after losing your father. A father that took great care of you after losing your mother. A man that made sure that his two greatest joys in the world were safe, but still knew the harshness of the world. God, you're right. I just need to pull myself together and fucking get over it. My bad, I didn't know what to do. Thanks for opening my eyes."

"You are such a brat," he shakes his head. "He's gone Areum, and we need to go through his things to figure out why he is gone."

"Wow, I completely forgot that he's gone," I clench my hand into tight fists, feeling acid drop off my every word. "Yoongi, why can't you respect my wishes? I don't want to go into his office yet. The wound is still fresh. It's not like this," I hold out my right arm so show the scar that's formed.

"Life is fucking hard, and sometimes you have to do things that hurt. This is one of those things. If I keep letting you put this off, we will never go into his damn office," his jaw sets in anger. "Then we will never know what bastard killed our parents. Or be able to lead Bangtan effectively. We are leaders now, and I need your help to run this organization."