Why the Flames so Hot

coldest waters

the next day eddie had to go to work. buck figured this out when he rolled over to cuddle closer to eddie and all he felt were the cool sheets beneath his touch. buck opened his eyes and rolled over onto his back to look at the ceiling. he took a deep breath in before he got up to get a shower.

it was almost 1 o'clock in the afternoon and buck was just now getting out of his bed. he was so numb ever since he lost his bestfriend a week ago. buck went over to his dresser and grabbed a pair of sweat pants and a hoodie. he took out his little pill bottle and his marker and small notebook as well.

buck walked into the bathroom and closed the door. he turned on the water to the shower and let It run as he stripped out of his close. he hissed as he felt the cloth drag over his day old cuts. he had made it a routine now. he cut a little in the morning and a lot more at night. he took one big look in the mirror before he opened up the note book.

the note book was small and black with flames drawn on the outside covers. buck made sure to write his numbers of cuts in the middle of his note book so that way if eddie found it then he wouldn't think that there was anything wrong. buck would write down how many cuts he had made and then on the back of that page he wrote how many he had all total.

the number made him feel even more numb that he had felt before he read it. 1,385 cuts in one week. that made buck feel sick. the fact that he was ruining his life and every one's life around him made himself sick. when buck looked up from were he was looking in his note book to see himself in the mirror he went cold.

he was thin and pale. probably from were he hadn't eaten much of anything in the last week. he had so many cuts and dried blood on his wrists that you couldn't even tell that he had an inner wrist to begin with. Buck was so ugly and he knew he was he just couldn't help but keep the one little speck of hope that he had left. Eddie and Christopher. his family.

buck got in the shower. the water was cold. to cold for bucks liking. buck felt his stomach turn ad he turned off the water and ran a crossed the room to the toilet were he had lost what he had eaten the night before. that was something else buck had gotten himself into. another way to hurt himself. he would take showers so cold that he would get sick or showers so hot that they would burn him. he just couldn't stop.

he took the pill bottle and tool out one of the razers that he had hid. he mad another 428 slashes between his two arms. he through on his hoodie and sweats and went to the couch to lay down until eddie got back from work. buck just couldn't help nor could he stop himself from thinking when will his life go back to normal? when will everyone see that he's needs help? and when will the coldest water face into warm sunlight?