I felt like I was back at square one with Courtney. I don't know what the hell made me agree to go to this counseling shit in the first place. Then I made matters even worse by agreeing to spend time with her and my kids. My kids wasn’t the problem, but their mama was a completely different story. She put another guilt trip on me and I took the bait. I hated to see a woman cry, especially if I was the cause of it. I really didn't want to lead her on, but she was making the shit too hard. Part of the guilt I felt was because I knew that she was right about some of the things she said. Beyonce fucked me over big time, yet I still rolled out the welcome mat for her. With Courtney, I used her cheating as an excuse to leave her alone. All I needed was a reason and she gave me a damn good one. I know it was selfish of me, but part of the reason I wanted to keep Courtney around was to have a backup plan just in case things with me and Bey didn't work out. That was the only reason why I didn't pursue the divorce even though I still wanted one. It didn’t help that she threw the pussy at me every time I saw her. After she got pregnant that last time, I was scared to touch her. She almost got me one night when I dropped my kids off at home, but I’m happy I didn’t go there with her. Especially since that was the same night I ran into Beyonce. I guess her and her dude must have been having some problems because she ended up spending the weekend with me at my condo. That was the time I was supposed to be having with my kids, but I gave it to her instead. Even when I went back to the facility, she was still staying at the house. Every day I was given a few hours to leave and I spent all that time with her too. It was almost as if we picked up right where we left off. Things were cool at first, but that didn’t last too long. She ended up making things right with her nigga and I almost had to make an appointment just to see her. It was like she had me working around this nigga schedule and my stupid ass was actually doing it, and she gave the nigga mad respect. Whenever he called, she broke her neck to answer the phone, making sure I stayed quiet in the background. I really was not that nigga and I couldn’t believe I was allowing her to play me the way she was playing me. It was cool for now though. I had a few days left before I came home and things were about to change. One thing I knew for sure, I was not cut out to be no side nigga and I didn’t plan on being one for long. I still had Mya, the girl who worked the front desk at facility, but she wasn’t anybody special. She wasn’t wifey or girlfriend material. Mya was cute, but sex was all she was good for to me. Beyonce was who I wanted. Just thinking about her made me want to talk to her. I grabbed my phone and dialed her number. “Hey,” she answered on the third ring. “Where are you?” I asked her, “I’m trying to see you today.” I know I was supposed to be going somewhere with Courtney and the kids, but I would cancel if I had to. “I don’t think I’ll be able to. I have my nieces and nephew,” she replied. I automatically assumed she was lying so I went off. “You gon’ stop trying to put me on the back burner for that nigga! You starting to piss me off with that shit!” I yelled. “I’m not even with him. I’m babysitting my nieces and nephews. You always think somebody is lying to you,” she yelled back. “That’s because you’re always lying,” I said. “I’m not lying. Me and Kelly are about to take the kids somewhere,” she replied. I should have known that her side kick was back in the picture. She couldn’t stay away too long. “Well what time are y’all coming back? I’m not waiting until tomorrow, I want to see you today,” I said. “I’m not making any promises, but I’ll see if I can get away later. You getting on my damn nerves,” she said, sounding aggravated. I was about to say something else, but I didn’t hear her background anymore. I looked at the phone and noticed that she’d hung up. I swear I couldn’t wait until I was home for good. I planned on giving her and her new man a run for their money.
*****
Two hours later we were pulling into a parking spot at the zoo. I was already kicking myself for letting Courtney spend the day with us. She was on some family day bullshit and I was not trying to hear it. Since I talked to Beyonce earlier, I was in a foul mood. I tried to call her back, but she was sending me straight to voicemail with her childish ass. “Let’s take a picture,” Courtney said, pulling out her cell phone. She was out of her damn mind if she thought she was posting a picture of me on Facebook or Instagram. "Man I'm not taking no pictures. Let's go," I said. I grabbed Drew and Lil Sean's hand and started walking toward the entrance. The sooner I got this over with, the sooner I could get rid of her aggravating ass. Besides, I wanted to catch up with Beyonce before it got too late. "Maybe we can go get some pizza when we leave here," Courtney said. My kids were excited about the idea, but I shot it down before it went too far. "No, I'll order y'all some pizza when I drop y'all off at home," I replied. Her ass was always trying to be slick. I felt sorry for her earlier, but I wasn't falling for it this time. I paid the fee for us to get into the zoo and we all made our way through the gate. I rented a wagon for Drew and Lil Sean just in case they got tired of walking. We let the kids decide where they wanted to go first and we were on our way. Even though Courtney and I were separated, it felt good doing something as a family. She was alright as long as she wasn't being loud and common. Just as I expected, a little over an hour into our walk, Drew and Lil Sean were in the wagon knocked out. Courtney wanted to sit down, but Denim and Dream were still amped. Sitting down was out of the question for them. They were pulling me by both hands trying to get me to accompany them to see the snakes. "I'm about to take them to see the snakes. You want sit here until I come back?" I asked Courtney, pointing to a sitting area to our left. "Yeah, I'll meet y'all in there once I rest up for a minute," she replied. I grabbed both of my daughters’ hands and led them to the enclosed area that housed about one hundred snakes. I hated snakes so I started frowning as soon as we walked into the dark exhibit room. My daughters were the exact opposite. They appeared to be mesmerized as they made their way around the room. I followed them every step of the way, making sure to keep an eye on both of them. "Daddy I know her," Denim said pointing across the room. I looked in the direction that she was pointing in, but I couldn't make out who she was pointing at. "Who," I asked, still looking in that direction. It was kind of dark so it was hard for me to see. "That lady right there, I know her," Denim said running away from me. "Girl come back here," I yelled as I ran behind her while holding onto Dream's hand. She ran around to the other side of the room and started yelling in excitement. "Beyonce!" I heard the name she called and I got just as excited as she was. When I finally caught up with her, I saw Beyonce kneeling down to give her a hug. Dream let go of my hand and ran over to greet her as well. "See Daddy, I told you I know that lady," Denim said pointing to Kelly. I guess Beyonce wasn't lying about babysitting. She had her nieces and nephew standing right next to her. I was just as happy to see her as my girls were. I walked up to her and kissed her on the lips despite the look of hate that was coming from Kelly. I grabbed Bey by the hand and pulled her into a dark corner. I wanted a real kiss and I didn't need her hating ass friend in my business. "Kelly, keep an eye on them for me," she said walking away with me. I picked her small frame up and pinned her against the wall. She wrapped her arms around my neck right before I shoved my tongue down her throat. We kissed for what felt like forever. I really wished I didn't have to let her go, but eventually I did. "I told you I wasn't lying about babysitting," she said looking at me. "I see that and I'm sorry baby," I replied softly. Damn I was in love with this girl. It was killing me to know that she was probably in love with somebody else. "So am I going to see you later," I asked her. She looked away and I just knew I wasn't going to like her reply. "I don't know if I can. I already promised Micheal that I would go to the movies with him tonight." "Man fuck Micheal!" I shouted in anger. What kind of fucking name was that anyway? I said to myself. "Shhh. That's Kelly's cousin so stop talking so loud," she whispered. "Man fuck her too," I yelled again. "Let me go Jay," she said breaking our embrace. "I knew that hooking up with you again was a bad idea." "No it ain't a bad idea. You just worried about ole boy finding out. You acting like this nigga is God or something," I replied. She was really starting to piss me off with this boyfriend of hers. I almost forgot all about being here with Courtney and my kids until I heard her voice. "Where's your daddy?" I heard her ask my girls. Beyonce looked over at me with fire in her eyes and my heart dropped. I was barely in good with her and things weren't getting any better. "You’re here with your wife?" She asked through clenched teeth, "You in here going off on me about spending time with my man, but you in here with your wife. Nigga fuck you and lose my fucking number.” She turned around and walked off with me hot on her heels. Courtney looked like she saw a ghost when she saw us both come from the corner that we were ducked off in. She dropped her purse and charged at Bey, full speed. “Bitch I wish you would,” Bey said, while looking Courtney up and down. I jumped in front of her to prevent any licks from being thrown. “Don’t try to protect that slut!” Courtney yelled. People were starting to look at us as if we were the ones on display. Bey grabbed her nieces and nephew and walked off with Kelly in tow. "I see you must really want me to kill you and that bitch," Courtney said seriously. I looked in her eyes and knew that she was dead serious. "I'll be right back," I said quickly walking away. "You better not be running behind that hoe. Are you really that stupid?" she yelled. I ignored her and kept going. I spotted Bey and her crew walking towards the exit. I did a slow jog until I caught up with them. "Bey wait," I said, grabbing her arm. "Don't touch me Jay. You are never going to change. I really feel sorry for your wife because she married a straight up dog," she said angrily. “It’s not even like that. You act like I knew that you were going to be here.” "That's not the point," she screamed. "Well then what is the point?" I yelled in frustration. "That's the point," she said pointing behind me. I turned around and saw Courtney and my kids walking towards me. Bey grabbed her niece’s hands and continued walking away. I expected Courtney to say something, but she surprised me when she didn't. She walked right passed me going towards the same exit as Beyonce. I immediately started following her to make sure she wasn't on no bullshit. "Courtney don't come out here acting a fool," I said walking close behind her. "Don’t worry, I'm not going to do nothing to your bitch, I'm just ready to go home," she replied calmly. She was a little too calm for me and that was kind of scary. We continued to walk in silence until we made it to the car. I looked around, but I didn’t see Beyonce anywhere in sight. I opened the doors and started helping the kids get into the car. Courtney was just standing there with a far off look on her face. “What you just standing there for?” I asked as I walked up to her. “I can’t take this anymore Jay. I feel like I’m losing my mind over this foolishness. Why would you tell her to come here when we’re supposed to be spending time with our kids?” she asked. “I didn’t tell her to come here. I didn’t even know she was going to be here,” I replied. “I don’t believe you. I just can’t see both of y’all showing up to the same place at the same time. This fucking city is not that small.” “You can believe what you want, but I’m telling you I didn’t know that she was going to be here. Let’s go. It’s too hot to be standing out here going back and forth.” I walked around to the driver’s side of the car, but she didn’t move. “Courtney let’s go. I’m not up for your bullshit today,” I yelled. She was just standing there looking off into space. “She really is losing her mind,” I said to myself. “Courtney!” I yelled her name again, but she still didn’t move. I walked back over to her and tapped her on the shoulder. “This is never going to end is it?” She asked. “What are you talking about? What’s never going to end?” I asked in return. She was talking crazy and I didn’t have time for that shit. “You and her? It’s never going to end is it?” She asked looking at me with tears rolling down her cheeks. I was getting sick and tired of all this damn crying. If it wasn’t her crying, it was Beyonce. “Courtney, let’s go. It’s hot, my kids are ready to go, and so am I,” I said in frustration. She hesitated for a minute, but she finally started walking to the car. She came to her senses at just the right time because her ass was about to get left. I drove off, silently thanking God that nothing popped off between her and Beyonce. I looked over at Courtney as she stared out the window, looking at nothing in particular. Keeping her around was proving to be more work than it was worth. Maybe I needed to rethink this divorce thing and let her go her way.
