“Why the fuck would you tell me to let your cousin cut my hair! Are you trying to get me killed?” Terrell yelled. “What the hell are you talking about?” I asked. I was lost, but something had him pissed. “Don’t try to play stupid. I’m talking about your cousin Jay coming in there looking at me all crazy and shit.” “Jay!” I said surprised. “Yeah, Jay,” Terrell said mocking my tone. “That nigga walked in the shop like he owned it or something,” Terrell said taking a seat on my sofa. This was news to me too. Nobody told me that Jay was home. I hadn’t talked to Ty since last week, but even then he didn’t mention it to me. “Actually, he does own it,” I replied laughing. “You think that shit is funny?” Terrell yelled. I stopped laughing when I saw that he was really mad. “It’s because of him that I lost my job while you’re sitting here laughing,” he said pointing his finger in my face. “I’m sorry.” I said lowly while lowering my head. I knew that Jay was a sensitive subject for Terrell. A few months back, Jay had my cousins Lea, Mike, Quan and some of their friends to jump on Terrell in a bar. As a result, Terrell had to have his jaw wired shut. He’d just started a job three months before the incident, but they decided to fire him after learning that he would be out for a few weeks. Soon after that his car was repossessed and he started to fall behind on his bills. He had an eviction notice on his apartment door yesterday and he’s been in a bad mood since then. I tried to help him, but there was only so much I could do. I let him use my car, but I couldn’t offer him a place stay. I was pushing it by even having him in the house at all. Bentley would kill us both if he ever found out. “Let’s go somewhere. We can catch a movie or go out to eat, my treat.” I wanted to do something to make him feel better since he always seemed to be in a bad place all the time. “Naw, I don’t want to go anywhere. I don’t need us to run into any of those nosey muthafuckers you know,” he said waving me off like it was nothing. I was so tired of him acting like he was embarrassed to be seen with me and I had to let him know it. “I’m so sick of this same bullshit with you!” I yelled standing to my feet. “I’m good enough to give you money and let you drive my car. I’m even good enough to suck and fuck you every time you ask, but it’s a problem when I want us to spend time together outside of the house!” Deep down I knew that he was really worried about us running into Beyonce and I was hurt. I was taking a huge risk by being seen with him too, but that never stopped me. “You’re so busy worrying about your ex bitch seeing us and she not even worried about your stupid ass.” I was pushing it, but I didn’t care. “See, this the shit I be talking about. You knew what it was from day one. I didn’t come after you, you came after me,” Terrell said, pissing me off even more, but he was right about that. I did pursue him. The night Jay went to jail was the same night I ran into Terrell at the club.
-Flashback-
After I dropped Ty off to pick up Jay's car, I decided to go back to the club and have a few drinks. Terrell was still there so it was the perfect time for me to make my move. I’ve always thought he was handsome, but Beyonce had already sunk her claws into him before I ever got the chance to. He didn’t seem interested when I first approached him, but I wasn’t taking no for an answer. After I convinced him to come outside with me, I took him around the back of the club, and showed off my mind blowing oral skills. He ended up coming home with me that night and the rest was history.
It was cool at first, but things started to change soon after. I started out thinking that dating Terrell would be a way to piss Beyonce off, but that would never happen because he was too scared of being seen in public with me. After a while, I ended up catching feelings for him and it was getting harder and harder to walk away. I thought I’d finally found a man who had his shit together, but I was dead wrong. Terrell ended up being a scrub just like Bentley, just a younger version with a degree. I don’t know how I always ended up with these broke ass, busted ass, niggas.
****
“I’m trying to see how I’m gon’ pay my bills and you worried about going out to eat,” Terrell said interrupting my daydream. He was stretched out on the sofa like this was his house. “I told you I’ll see what I can do to help,” I said after a long pause. “You can’t do shit for me on that little bit you make at that nursing home,” he replied with a frown. He always had something negative to say about my job, but that same job was the reason his broke ass still had a cell phone and lights. “You’re barely paying your own bills so how can you help me?” Terrell asked. “I got my ways,” I said smiling at him. I wasn’t proud of some of the things I did, but when Bentley stopped helping me pay bills, I really didn’t have a choice. I’ve been working overtime for months just to make ends meet and that still didn’t help. “Whatever,” Terrell said waving me off. I walked over to the sofa and attempted to lie on top of him, but he wasn’t having it. He grabbed my arms and held them down until he was sitting upright. “Stop! I’m not in the mood for all that hugging and shit,” Terrell said releasing my arms. I leaned over and tried to kiss him, but he put his hand up and turned his head. “Man stop! I told you I’m not with all that kissing and shit!” He yelled. This time, I was the one who wasn’t trying to hear it. Terrell claimed he didn’t like to kiss, but I specifically remember his tongue staying down Beyonce's throat when they were together so I knew that was a lie. “Make love to me again,” I whispered in his ear. He looked at me like I was crazy and started laughing. “Oh, so that’s what you call it?” He asked laughing hysterically. “What do you mean by that?” I asked. I started feeling played and his laughter only made it worse. “Nothing. If you don’t know I’m not trying to enlighten you,” he replied sarcastically. I reached over and grabbed his belt buckle. Once I had it unloosed, I unbuckled his pants and pulled them halfway down. I reached my hands into his underwear and pulled out his semi- hard penis. He looked at me and smiled as I stroked him up and down slowly. I was happy that I was wearing a dress. It would be easier for both of us that way. His eyes rolled to the sky as I slightly increased the speed of my hand and stroked him faster. Three minutes later, I stopped stroking and stood up directly in front of him. I bent over and wiggled out of my underwear and walked up to him with my dress lifted. I was about to straddle him and give him the ride of his life, but he stopped me before I had the chance. "What?" I asked, looking at him confused. Terrell was never very affectionate with me, but he never turned down sex either. I was about to curse his ass out, but I saw that he had other plans for me. He grabbed me by the back of my neck and forced me down to my knees. Before I had a chance to protest, he rammed his dick in my mouth. It was gagging me in the process. I tried to pry his hands from my neck, but his grip was too strong. Terrell was moaning, but I felt like I was choking to death. I started moving my head from side to side until he finally let go. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Terrell asked with an attitude. “You choking me to death, that’s what’s wrong!” I replied with an attitude of my own. “My bad.” Was all he said before lowering my head for me to continue sucking him off. As bad as I wanted to tell him no, something in me wasn’t ready to be alone. So like the fool I was, I sucked his dick just the way I knew he liked it. I had a feeling that this would be just like it was most of the other times. Terrell would get some good ass head and be too tired to do anything else. It was enough that I played the fool for one man, but being a fool for love twice was more than I could handle.
