Where Light and Darkness Meet (Part One of the Pallona Saga)

II

Chapter II
Fear

I lay awake in my stone hut, listening to the wind howl and the ocean roar against the rocky cliffs of the island Luke decided to exile himself on. The island planet I was trained on was somewhat similar to this place, but it never used to bother me when the other padawans were around. It felt whole and peaceful. Now, on Ahch-To, there is a silence that has settled that can never be filled. Luke tried at first, either by continuing my lessons as normal or doing his own Jedi master business. But now he only trains me when he feels less guilty than he does on other days, and prefers to walk around the island while I find my own ways to occupy my time. He usually stays in the sacred Jedi temple, which is the whole reason why we came here.
I've asked Skywalker if I can leave Ahch-To and help the Resistance, but he denies me every time. Usually I can understand why he keeps me here, but now it only makes me angry.
Yes he failed Ben, but does that mean he must keep me here as a sort of reminder that at least one of his students is alive and on the light side? Why doesn't he want me to avenge his other students by assisting the Resistance, and ultimately his own sister? General Leia would surely find my help useful, especially since Luke has vowed to never leave the island or train another Jedi. But a part of me knows that to be a lie to himself and to me. I've been sensing a strength in the Force, another young soul—hopefully with the Resistance—who could be a strong Jedi. I feel her presence—for I'm sure it's a girl—almost as strongly as I still feel Ben's sometimes. But where his is faint, tinted from the effects of the dark side, hers is strong and pure. Similar to mine, I think.
I hope that, whoever this girl is, she finds us and convinces Luke to help the galaxy. I've tried for years now, ever since Ben became Kylo Ren, but Luke refuses to listen, worried that his only apprentice will meet the same fate as his others did. Nonetheless, six years can change a person, even one as strong with the Force as Master Luke. I can only hope that it's not long enough to make Skywalker completely numb to the Force.
I've felt his presence through it less and less now, and I'm sure it's because he's afraid. Afraid to open himself back up to the thing that took his nephew and his other padawans away. But he forgets about me, which is the most disheartening thing in the world. As he continues to shut himself off from the Force, I feel myself slipping from his mind as well. The past six years have turned him colder than he once was, and I'm just as fearful that I'll lose him as he is of losing me.
Perhaps I should see it as a comfort, though. That we both, two strong Jedi, one padawan and one master, are just as scared as the other of losing the only thing they have left—each other.