Where Light and Darkness Meet (Part One of the Pallona Saga)

V

Chapter V
Reunion

Navigating through space is harder than I expected, but my dead mother's old craft holds firm despite everything it's been through. Our journey to Zeffo wasn't an easy one, not to mention that Kijimi isn't known for fine, beautiful things. I spend the majority of the time in light speed, which is manageable.
My heart beats in time with my Force beacon, getting faster and stronger the closer I get to the First Order. I should be afraid—I am afraid—but I feel a stronger sense of resolve that overpowers my anxiety at what I'll soon find.
I spend a while meditating, cleaning my saber, and braiding my hair back into its intricate fashion—coils of braids forming at the crown of my head while the rest cascades down in white-blonde waves.
In a short hour, the Force pounds in my head as I disengage from hyperspace. I emerge in front of an ice planet, with a strange giant mechanism surrounding the middle of it, a sort of weapon, I'm guessing. I must be in the Unknown Regions, from what my ship's radar is picking up. The coordinates on the screen list that the planet is called Ilum. I speed towards it, fear beginning to nag at me again. As I enter Ilum's atmosphere, a static plays on the radio, followed by a voice: "This is SKB Leader 5768. Name and landing position?"
I know what to do immediately since I already suspected the First Order would be smart enough to have these kinds of security measures. I wave my hand at the radio, feeling for the Force.
"You've received my clearance."
"I've received your clearance," the voice says.
"You'll grant me landing space on the main dock."
"You have access to the main dock."
I smile, proud of my one little victory. I try to seem like I know where I'm landing, but I furiously search for any kind of opening to the strange mechanism surrounding the planet. I find a large landing port, where TIE fighters zoom in and out of the strange base-looking thing. I land easily, then sit back and realize I didn't plan this far.
What do I do now? Do I let myself get captured and hope I run into Solo? Or do I sneak around the base until I find him myself?
I decide it would be better to try to locate Ben on my own, rather than blow my cover right away. I leave my mother's ship, checking around me for any Stormtroopers or other passersby. I realize that the planet, Ilum, must be the base itself, seeing how there weren't any other fortresses on the planet's surface. The base is perfectly clean, with shining grey floors, black metal walls as far as the eye can see and the nose can smell. I've become used to spending my life outside, either on Zeffo or Ahco-To, so being inside this giant metallic stronghold is making my nose burn with all the new, artificial smells. A faint scent of rubber, mixed with metal and gas surrounds me, something I fear I could never grow accustomed to.
Not a soul in sight, I run for an elevator across the landing port, and take it all the way up to a floor swarming with people. Officers in differing shades of black and gray march purposefully, Stormtroopers stand guard at every door, and droids zoom past left and right. I do my best to sneak through passageways, control rooms and past Stormtroopers without getting caught, but I have to use some simple Jedi mind tricks every once in a while. The base is much bigger than I initially thought, but it makes sense if it's the entire planet. The faint sound of TIE fighters flying by is the only sound in the pristine white corridor I'm sneaking through, along with my light footsteps and heavy breathing.
My Force beacon is gone now, leaving me to locate Solo on my own. I sift through thoughts of other people around me, but I've never been in Ben's mind so it's hard to know what his thoughts sound or feel like. I wander and weave through endless passages, empty rooms and smaller spacecraft ports until I come across a chamber embedded into a narrow hallway. Stairs lead down, breaking off twice: the first leads into a bedroom, solely occupied by a bed, and then the second into a large, white room. Standing on a low podium in the center of the chamber is a helmet I never thought I'd get to see. Darth Vader's mask is disfigured by flames, making parts of it shapeless and wholly unwearable. It's like seeing a ghost; I always believed that the mask still existed, but seeing it in person sends shudders through me. A table beside it, dotted with random objects, is the only other furnishing in the room. There aren't anymore stairs either, so this must be a commander's private quarters. But who could possibly be ranked high enough to keep Darth Vader's mask as a trophy?
Suddenly I feel a strong presence in the Force moving closer and closer. I sense confusion, anger, and most of all, fear. Others walk with them, only two though. If it's only Stormtroopers, I could easily fight them off, but I'd rather not draw that much attention.
I ignite my green lightsaber anyways, drawing it close to my face, bent low in an offensive position Luke taught me when I was a young padawan. The three pairs of footsteps descend the stairs, fanning out in the stairway to block my way out. The two trailing behind are only Stormtroopers, their blasters ready to fire at will. But I finally recognize the leading figure, despite his concealed features. Black robes layer over one another, his cape nearly touches the floor. The most terrifying item is his mask. He reaches for his own weapon, secured at his hip, and ignites a red, crossguard lightsaber. The blades flicker and light bounces off like little strikes of lightning, indicating a fractured kyber crystal.
"Come with me," a deep voice commands, altered by the mask. Nonetheless, I still hear Ben Solo's voice under this new identity he's created for himself. Terrified and excited at once, I follow him without a word.

Ben takes me further into the base, winding me through so many different passageways that I could never get out on my own.
Maybe that's his goal, my mind whispers. If Solo were trying to take me as a prisoner right now, he's already succeeded. But sure enough, I'm led into a long, completely black and white hallway lined with prison cells on either side. Ben stops, but the two Stormtroopers continue to guide me into the closest cell, labeled C-13. They lock the bars as I step inside, my footing unsure on the pristine, slippery metal floors. The guards leave me, but Solo, still masked, walks over to gaze at me. I still sense great fear in him, but something similar to regret and curiosity betrays him. I don't have to read his mind to know that he's wondering how I got here, what my plan is and, most clearly, he's remembering what he tried to do to me six years ago.
Or perhaps he's wondering who you are. Maybe he's been so busy fighting for Snoke that he doesn't remember how you used to spar with sticks or stay up late as children talking about what kind of Jedi you would become.
It hurts to think about, being that I've done little more than think of Ben Solo over the past six years. But it would give me a reason to hate him, something I desperately need. If he's forgotten about me, I could resent him for it and learn to see him as Kylo Ren and not Ben Solo. But I can't hate him, no matter how hard I try. Master Skywalker was going to kill him, and it was right for Ben to be scared and act on instinct. But he shouldn't have turned to the dark side and murdered the majority of our comrades. But I can't help but remember how I thought of him as getting lost on his path and not being able to find his way back. Ben has become lost, and I could never hate him for that.
"Where did you come from?" His voice still startles me, but I don't let my fear betray me.
"Zeffo," I lie, my home planet the only place I can think of that won't betray Luke. "After you killed our friends and left, I exiled myself there, where I wouldn't be found."
"And Skywalker?" I knew he would ask eventually, but he's not being very subtle about interrogating me.
"He fled somewhere else before I could recover from the wounds you gave me. He must have thought I was dead. I have no idea where he is now."
A long pause.
"Or he left you."
Even though I know it's not true, even though I've been with Luke all this time, his words still hurt me, and I recoil without meaning to. The hurt shows on my face, betraying my emotions to Ben.
"Ah. So you care about Skywalker? And what he thinks of you, too?" He takes another long pause. "You shouldn't. He was fearful of my power and tried to stop me. Perhaps he was planning on killing you, too. You were always just as strong as I was."
So he does remember me. Relief courses through me, but I suppress it, reaching for anger instead.
"Luke knew what he was about to do was wrong. And yet you still turned to the dark side and have been Snoke's play thing ever since. Tell me, Ben, how does it feel being the most powerful Jedi—as you claim—yet choosing to bow before Snoke?"
It's his turn to recoil, moreso at the use of his real name than at the insult.
"You don't know the power of the dark side," he growls. "If you were to join me, you'd know just how much power it offers, power the Jedi could never imagine."
"I can imagine how exhausting it is to be so scared all the time. I sense it in you like a raging fire, Ben. You are consumed by fear of what you're becoming. Not even that, but you're scared that you can never come back home. To the light, to your parents, to Luke. But you can, Ben. There's still—"
"Ben Solo is dead. Kylo Ren is stronger than that young, weak boy ever was. I will bring order to the galaxy as my grandfather did. Except this time, I will not be foolish enough to lose it the way he did."
I have no words in response. The menace and anger in his voice makes me wonder if I'm wrong. Perhaps my friend really is gone, lost to the dark side forever. Maybe I was foolish thinking I could come all this way, after all these years and turn him. I feel my confidence and my resolve weakening under his eyeless stare. And when the silence stretches into minutes, Ben walks out of the prison, leaving me more alone than I've ever felt.