surviving my life

hell and school mean the same

Mentally I'm sick to my stomach and just want to lay down and die but physically I smile and laugh. I walk into the cafeteria and sit in my usual place and read while I wait for my friends to come. (We call ourselves the army of misfit friends) and the group consist of me, Hailey, Alex, Nicole, and Mark. Everyone arrives as always in order. First Hailey, a short, dirty blonde, sarcastic girl who's tougher than nails. Then its Alex, another short girl with long black hair and is always cautious. Then its Nicole the crazy, daring and sometimes bitchy one and last Mark, the tall independent guy that can be popular because of his looks and humor but chooses not to. We all meet at the same place, at the same time. We all talk and make jokes as other students pass by us, ignoring us. As everyone passes by I watch them envious that they seem happy and glad. The bell interupts my thoughts and I grab my bag saying a fast bye to everyone as I head to class. Before I go inside I put my head phones in and my hood of my jacket up. I take my usual seat in the back of the class and lay my head against the wall. The teacher begins The lesson and I block everything out. I close my eyes for a few seconds and when I open them I notice everyone's eyes are on me. I pull out one ear plug and look at the teacher. She is looking at me expectantly. "Yes?" I asked. "If u had your earphones out and been paying attention you would've heard me the first time" Mrs.Keller said with some ice in her tone. "Now can someone inform catcher what we were talking about? Evy what about you? Can you tell us?" Evy gives me a sad smile and answers her. As Mrs.Keller starts talking again I put back in my earphones. First period ends and I haze my way through the rest of my classes until lunch. When the lunch bell rings I head out to the field and see Hailey already sitting down. I pull my book out of my bag and put my head in her lap and start reading as she plays with my hair. We sit in silence as the others come. Alex pulls out two sandwiches and a bag of chips. She offers us some and everyone takes a little bit but me. I reply saying I'm not hungry. I'm still reading and everyone is talking when Nicole suddenly says "a Barbie's coming" Nicole calls all the poplar girls Barbie's because they think they're so perfect and she calls the guys Kens. I glance up from my book and see Evy walking towards us. "Hey catcher can I talk to you for a minute?" She ask me. I'm surprised because why would a barbie want to talk to one of the misfits? Much less me. I get up and walk a few feet away from our group. I can feel everyone's eyes on my back as I ask "what's up?" Evy pulls out a paper and hands it to me. Its a test we took and i failed. "What about it?" I asked her. "Mrs.Keller told me to give that to you and she wants me to tutor you" Evy replied. "Why does she want that?" I asked cooly even though there were butterflies in my stomach. For once Evy seems embarrassed she says "Mrs.Keller said that youll need extra credit if u want to pass and she told me that she'll note this down for me when I start applying to colleges". "I don't need help" I said with a bit if harshness in my voice. Why the hell is Mrs.Keller sending a barbie to come help me, if I wanted help I would've asked her and what does Evy think this is, a charity thing? I can ask one of the misfits if they know algebra. Evy looks down and says in a quiet voice "please I can really use the side notes from her". I think about it for a minute then give in. Only because I know what its like to want to get out of this place too as soon as possible. "Fine but I can only meet up like once or twice a week outside if school i have work" I tell her. She looks up and smiles. She digs around her bag and takes out a pen and writes a number on my arm. "Text me when u want to meet up then" she walks off so I head back to my group. They look at me with questionablely looks. Hailey speaks first "what did she want?". "Mrs.Keller told her to tutor me since I'm failing algebra so she came to give me her number so we can meet up after school" I tell them. "If you need help man I'll tutor you" mark says. "Yea you don't need to hang out with a barbie" agrees Nicole and Alex nods in agreement. "Thanks".I tell him. He smiles and the bell rings. I debate whether or not to text evy. When the final bells rings I pull my phone out and text a number that's not in my contact list and send "meet me at the park in 30 minutes" after I send the text I see mark heading towards me. "Uh oh" I thought