surviving my life

everythings weird

We walk up to the girl sitting in our spot. "Umm why are you sitti..." My voice stops when i see her face. "Oh my fucking god, Hailey it looks amazing!!!" I yell. Hailey laughs as she noticed the stares people are giving us but I don't care. Hailey's hair is elastic blue in the top and blonde at the bottom and she seems to be wearing some makeup. "Why is she wearing makeup!?" I thought. "Hailey never wears makeup". We sit down and start talking about her hair when Nicole and Alex walks in. We all start booming about her hair until the bell rings. Mark gets up first and as he leaves a slides his hand on my shoulder. "Bye I'll see you later in home economics" he tells me and I smile. Nicole is looking at me so I look at her. She leans in and whispers "we need to talk". I nod and tell her "at work later" she nods and leaves for class. I see Alex and Hailey walk off. I get in Mrs.kellers right before the bell rings and scurried to my seat. I don't know why but I felt more energetic than I have been. I found myself actually listening to Mrs.Keller and even answering a question or two. A few minutes before the bell Mrs.keller says we can pack up "oh and catcher I want to see you after class for a few minutes" "why does she want to see me? I didn't do anything wrong today did I?" The bell rung and I went to her desk "you wanted to see me?" I asked  "ah yes, you showed some improvement today. You seem better, more alive?" She said with a smile. "It feels like that too" I tell her. "Did you decide to do the tutoring with ivy?" She asked me. "Yes and thank you for telling her to tutor me I understand it a little bit more" I tell her. Mrs.Keller looks confused. "Told her? No no no she volunteered. But if you understand it better that's all that matter. Would you like to correct that test?" She said. "Volunteered? Whaaat?" "Umm yea sure thanks" I tell her. The minute bell has rung and I leave before I am late. "Volunteered from a barbie? Wow who knew Mrs.Keller is actually nice!" Was all it thought about. My next class past by like a flash and next thing I knew it I was in home economics with mark. We sat in the back corner just like always. Mark slid me a paper and I unfolded it and it said "those pancakes are giving me a sugar rush lol" I wrote back "no one told you to eat all them! :)" mark smiles and tips his chair on the back two legs. He puts his arm on the back of mine and puts his hand resting on a small part of my back. I look at him and smile. "Am I flirting?" I thought. "Oh god" I thought "I need to stop I don't even know if he likes me. I DONT EVEN KNOW IF I LIKE HIM" I mentally shouted at myself. I look at the worksheet in front of us and pretend to study the question. I can see mark trying to catch my eye but I ignore him. He then leans over and whispers in my ear "the answers are on the board you know" I nod and copy the answer down. The bell rings a little bit later and I get up to go to my next class but mark ask me "are you gonna come back to my house after school?" I shook my head and said "no me and Nicole are going to head to work and I'll see if she can drive me back after work" he nods and let's me go. The next class I'm back to my usual state. I put my head on my desk until class ends. Lunch starts and i head to the field. As usual Hailey's already there. I go and lay my head down in her lap. "So whats up with you" I asked her. "Huh?" She asked. "New hair, new makeup, a little bit of trying to look like a misfit barbie if u tell me. Like the hair rocks seriously but the makeup big no no" I told her. "Maybe I wanna look pretty that's all" she tells me. "Well your not pretty... YOURE FUCKING BEAUTIFUL" She laughs and says "thanks"  "who you wanna look pretty for anyways" I ask. She was about to answer but then looks up. I follow her gaze and see the group coming. "Nobody" she says. I don't believe her one bit but I don't want to cause anything in front of the misfits. everyone sits down Alex at one spot then nicole then Hailey then me with my head in her lap. Mark would usually sit in front of us but instead he picks up my feet and sits down and pulls my feet on top of his lap. I'm not sure if i should smile or not so I take out my sketch pad and start drawing. I draw us. Exactly like we are sitting. I can tell hailey is watching me draw and when I'm almost finished she whistles. "Good drawing" she says. "Let me see"Alex said. I hand her the sketch pad and say "don't look through it". I usually don't show my drawings to anyone and rarely let the misfits look at mine. "Can I see?" Mark ask me. I sit up and sit next to him. I'm sitting close that our shoulders are touching and I can feel the warmth in his arm. He holds on to the left half and I hold on to  the right half. He runs his finger over the pencil marks then smiles and hands it back. I take it and finish it. He watches me finish it and I put up in the sky "THE ARMY OF MISFITS" I sign the bottom right corner just like all my other drawings and then put the sketchpad away in my bag. I'm still next to mark and I don't want to leave. My mind settles in peace for a few seconds and then the bell rings. I groan as mark gets up but he offers me his hand to help me up and I take it. Its warm and soft and it only last for a second but my hand had a weird tingly feeling after he let go. "I'll see you later" I tell him as I leave to class. I have Nicole the next class so I walk with her. I pull out a paper and write "what did you need to talk about?" She writes back. "I kissed someone and my parents found us" I'm shocked but I try not to show it. "Who?" She reads it but takes a few seconds to write back.  She finally does and hands it back it says "Hailey" now I can't hide my shock. I stare at the paper dumbfounded. "How'd I not know that Nicole and Hailey were like that?  Heck I didn't even know I was like this" I thought. I don't answer the paper and just stare ahead. The clock clicks slowly this period and when the bell rings I jump up and run to the bathroom. "Breathe" I tell myself.  The bell rings but i dont care because ihave a free period. I don't usually freak out. But with everything happening with my family then with mark and then Nicole AND Hailey I need a few moments to calm myself. I don't know if it was luck or fate or something but mark walks in when I'm calming myself. He goes to me quickly and says "are you OK?" I smile and nod "yea i just need a few minutes" he seems like he's deciding whether to leave me or not and I honestly don't know if I want him to leave. "You wanna get out if here?" He ask. I don't say anything and nod. He motions for me to follow him and we walk out of the school. I was surprised there was no monitor. We got in his car and drive off "so where off to?" He asked. I sigh and say "can you take me home I need to pick up a few stuff" he nods and continues to drive as I put my head on the window and just state outside.