Darkness of the Past (Star Trek Fanfiction)

Chapter 9

I had been in the rec room for a few hours now. I hadn't done much, simply mingling with passerby as they came and went, occasionally playing a game of darts with my good arm. It was almost dinnertime so McCoy would be expecting me back at sickbay soon. I didn't eat lunch so I was quite hungry. It was odd. Since the "event", I haven't really had an appetite, however McCoy had always made me eat three meals a day. I stood up to begin heading back to the medbay. Once I got there, Bones was waiting for me with our usual two plates sitting on my bed. My appetite had disappeared again and I was now dreading dinner. Bones noticed me come in and walked to my bed, sitting down and patting the space next to him. 

"Long time no see." He joked. "You enjoy yourself?"

"You know I'm not a very social person..." I said, taking the seat he patted.

"Yes but it's good that you interacted with other people for the first time in a couple weeks." He said. "Besides, It doesn't hurt to talk."

"Yes it does." I said dramatically. "It pains me immensely." 

Bones rolled his eyes and snickered at me as I laughed and played with my food. I wasn't hungry. Bones noticed this and took my fork from my hand, scooping up a bite and lifting it to my mouth.

"Stop playing Izzy. You need to eat." He said.

I simply shook my head and looked down at the ever so interesting floor. McCoy put my fork down and moved his plate off his lap, reaching over and taking my chin in his hand, bringing my face up to look at him.

"What's going on?" He asked. 

He was trying not to push but I could tell he wanted to. I shook my head slightly and looked away again.

"Izzy. I want to help you but to do that, you have to talk to me and tell me what's wrong." He said. "Please Izzy. Look at me."

I looked up and our eyes met, bringing tears to mine. McCoy furled his eyebrows and pulled me up against him, resting my head in the crook of his neck. At that point, I couldn't hold it in any longer and broke down, sobbing into him as he rubbed my back. 

"It's alright. Everything's over now. You're safe." He said softly.

We stayed like that for a good half an hour, Bones letting me cry in his shoulder and rubbing my back soothingly. Eventually I ran out of tears and McCoy brought me some water, as well as trying to get me to eat again. I was able to eat a few bites before refusing to eat more. I went to bed, exhausted from today. 

I was back on the planet. Madigan had instructed the guards to find me. I was standing behind a building nearby and listening to everything that was happening. All of a sudden, I heard Madigan speak again. 

"Come out or Pike will die right here, right now." He said.

I panicked internally for a moment before turning my attention back to my current situation. I heard footsteps and a muffled voice that sounded like Pike's trying to yell through a cloth gag. A phaser fire went off and I heard the voice yelled out in pain. I tried to block out the horrific sound before all too soon hearing the same thing once again. One last shot was fired but no yell accompanied it. I was panicking and only now noticed that tears were streaming down my face. Pike was dead. He was my mentor, almost a father figure to me. Now he was gone. I brought my hand up to cover my mouth, attempting to keep myself from sobbing loudly. I stepped back, only to cause a loud crack of a branch breaking. I watched in horror as guards turned in the direction of the noise and began stalking towards me. I turned to run in the opposite direction but was met with more guards, looking almost robotic, towering over me. I tried to get away but was held too firmly in their strong grasp.

I felt hands shaking me roughly as I tried to fight the guards. 

"IZZY! Wake up!" A voice said loudly. 

My eyes shot open and was met with McCoy's concerned expression looking down at me. He pulled me up so that I was sitting and held my shoulders, trying to look me in the eyes. I was crying and couldn't breathe due to the constricting tightness in my chest. My eyes darted around the room as I grabbed at my shirt, trying to somehow pull air into my lungs. McCoy pulled my hands down and held them as he grabbed an oxygen mask and placed it over my head. 

"Look at me sweetheart." He said, placing his hands on either side of my face, trying to hold it still. "Izzy. Look at me." 

Our eyes locked as he brushed some of my tears away from my eyes. McCoy put one of his hands on my thigh and brushed some hair behind my ear with the other.

"Izzy you have to breathe." I tried to look away again. "C'mon love, look at me."

"I-I ca-can't." I choked out.

"You can. Please Izzy, try. Look at me. Breathe like me." 

McCoy motioned to his chest and showed me what to do, breathing in and out slowly. I tried to do as he told but I had lost almost all control of my body. I choked out a few breaths and brought my hands up to my eyes. This wasn't working. McCoy noticed and wrapped an arm around me, pulling me into him. He quietly whispered soothing things to me. His voice combined with his breathing and warm arm around me protectively calmed me down eventually. 

"That's it. Good, darlin'." He said after my breathing was near normal once again. 

He let go of me and took off the oxygen mask as he reached over to one of the trays near my bed. 

"I'm going to give you a hypo. It'll help you sleep." 

He held up the small device, looking at me with eyes asking for permission. I shook my head. I didn't want to go back to sleep after what happened. 

"Please?" He asked, seeing how I looked at the hypo. "You'll feel much better."

"I-I don't w-want it." I said. "I d-don't want to s-sleep."

McCoy caught on to what I meant. "Is it because of the nightmare? If I give you this, you won't dream and if you do, I'll be right here." 

"No dreams?" I asked.

"No dreams." He smiled back.

I nodded, his talk finally persuading me. 

"Little pinch." He said, lifting up my chin and placing the hypo on my neck, injecting me with the drug. 

A few seconds later, I could feel the effects setting in. McCoy helped me lay back down and pulled the blanket back over me. He sat down next to the bio bed and stroked my hair until my eyes closed and I fell into a dreamless sleep.