it's a no brainer

chapter 1 - flashbacks

Here's one of the edits that I watch religiously, it shows some of the moments I wrote in this chapter so feel free to watch it before you dive in💕

The picture will also make sense once you finish so come back to it aha k enjoy🤙

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How had their summer taken such a turn?

Almost three months ago they were all drinking beer on a construction site and now one of them is dead. The pogues, pogies, the throwaway fish, well that last one almost seems ironic now, were all getting ready for John B's funeral. Well, more like a memorial since a body was never found and it's not like they have any money for an actual casket.

JJ was looking through his closet for something to wear. Should he dress up? No, he could hear John B making fun of him already. His best friend...first friend would've hated to see him all formal at his wake. The memorial was to celebrate his life not mourn his death. Instead, he finds one of John B's shirts in his closet, a pale yellow one with the words bad brains imprinted on it.

He leaves his room and walks by his dad he chuckles. Nothing new, he thought. High, drunk, and passed out on the couch. When he finally went home after they found out that John B and Sarah didn't make it, JJ had never seen his dad more furious in his life when the next day he saw the Phantom being found in the water. JJ ran away knowing that he was done putting up with his crap. Never would he let his scum of a father touch him again. This was his first time being back home since he'd been crashing at the château. The only reason he came back was to find something to wear that wasn't John B's...the irony.

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Pope had taken John B's passing better than any of them. He didn't know why but after they found out John B wasn't coming back he cried and cried until he had no more tears to shed. And for two months, there still weren't any tears. He hoped he would let his death sink in but ever since Shoupe uttered the ill-fated words that would change their lives forever they had never left him.

"We lost them."

"We lost them."

"We lost them."

Like an alarm. Every night he would wake up from those same three words. He never talked to his parents about the nightmares. He always wanted to bring it up to the pogues but he didn't want to bother them with his problems. They had already been through enough together he didn't want to drag them down further into his pit of depression mixed insomnia.

He looks in the mirror wondering if anyone can tell he barely got any sleep last night. He couldn't get the image of JJ and Kie next to each other on John B's bed the other night. He could have sworn he saw them holding hands but then again his eyes could've been playing tricks on him. Wouldn't be the first. Insomnia can do some freaky things to your subconscious.

A few days after they had mourned on their own Kie had asked Pope if he could meet her at the beach. They had sat on the shore and talked for about an hour before she said what she really intended to tell him.

"I shouldn't have kissed you," Kie blurted out. She hated herself for getting his hopes up but there was no way that she could keep stringing him along. The no pogue-on-pogue macking rule was instilled for a reason.

"Don't get me wrong it felt right...but not in the way it sounds. It was a beautiful moment we shared, but I was just so relieved we were able to help John B in time and..." Kie struggled to find the right words to say. She couldn't even look at him while saying all this she just stared at the waves.

What she really wanted to say was: "I could have very well had kissed JJ. You were just the one within reach." But she couldn't say that. She had had this conversation to herself for days and she still couldn't figure out the right words to say.