A different christmas //PHAN\\ (boyxboy)

chapter 4

*PHILS POV*
oh shit what was that Phil you don't even know the guy, he clearly didn't even want you there then you made it worse by kissing him?? I don't even know if he is straight!! I turned around to see the men who took his sweater staring, "what are you looking at!" i shouted, i rarely get angry but I don't even know what just happened myself!
the men grunted at me, "watch it mate you don't know who you're dealing with!"
"a bunch of bums on the street thats who!" I shouted.
wow what was that? its not their fault.. well i don't know but I can't just say that.
"I... I'm sorry" I stuttered at the men who had disgust on their faces but looked away.
I heard sobs coming from the distance.. was it the young man? seriously i still don't even know his name... but I followed the sound of the sobs to find him sitting right at the end of an alley way, why was he crying though I mean I get I had no right to do that but... why cry?
"h...hello?" my stuttering hadn't stopped. the sobbing stopped instantly with a few chokes of him trying to hold them back, he looked up at me and looked away quickly.
"look I'm sorry about that.. I don't know what got into me I just.. I'm sorry,"
"don't be," he hiccuped out.
"but you're crying and, and I'm sorry."
"don't be, thats not why I'm crying,"
"so why then?"
"don't worry."
I knelt down to his level, tears still streaming down his face. i really wanted to hold him in my arms and tell him everything would be fine, but judging by the kiss before that would be a bad idea.
"whats your name?" i asked trying to start off again.
he sat silently for a moment.
*DANS POV*
why does he care why did he kiss me. why. why. why. I'm not important in anyway. I'm a bum why would he even touch me?
but there he was in front of me still trying to... befriend me? i wasn't going to tell him why i was crying but i suppose i should tell him my name. he is a genuinely nice person i can see that.
"dan," i managed to say with out bursting into more sobs. how embarrassing.
"nice to meet you dan.. do... do you want to come back to my... apartment? i can give you some warm clothes and some food and coffee." Phil offered, he seemed nervous for some reason.
still the same question on my mind though, why does he care about ME?
should i take up all his bullshit charity? i mean i need it but i hate pity.
i nodded my head and wiped the tear away from my cheeks leaving dirty marks on my face from my grotty hands.
"and a shower too?" phil half smiled at me.
i nodded again.

after a long silent train ride to his place, of me refusing to speak. not to be rude.. i just figured if i opened my mouth i would begin to cry again. i followed phil up the narrow stairs to his narrow hallway, through his narrow door into his very wide and fairly empty apartment. phil moved his hands gesturing me to come inside. so i did. the place had a nice aroma, pepperminty kind of..
"nice place." i complimented being the first thing i said in about the past 20 minutes.
"thank you," he responded, "here have a seat on the couch, ill go upstairs and get you a nice pair of clothes, a towel and show you the bathroom. ill put some lunch on while you have a shower."
phil smiled at me, he was such a kind hearted person.
again, i just nodded my head and sat on the couch staying still hoping not to make him uncomfortable.
phil was gone for a minute but came back with a pile of clothes. there were some black skinny jeans and a white t-shirt along with... another festive sweater. he also handed me a towel and toiletries.
"here you going, the bathroom is upstairs first door on the left."
i tried to smile but i wasn't very good at it so it was more of me just moving my lips slightly. i followed Phil's clear directions and made my way to the shower, i hadn't showered in 2 years.. do i even remember how?
after my shower i felt so different, fresh.. turned out what i thought was a tan was just a shit ton of dirt, my hair looked shaggy and i looked extremely skinny from the last time i saw. you could nearly see my ribcages.. but i never really eat. only when i do actually get money from people on the street and i can go buy some fruit or nuts or something.
as i got changed into the clothes that just fit me i went downstairs to the smell of pumpkin.
"ah finally! you took a while but i hope you enjoyed it," phil greeted me cheerfully like always.
i nodded.
"you're just in time though, i made us some pumpkin soup," he handed me a bowel of some delicious soup that was steaming in my face, perfect for this cold day.
"thanks." i said quietly and began to eat it slowly at first but then when i realised how amazing this dish was i slurped it all up in about two minutes
"wow slow down there dan," he giggled, "h... how often do you eat?" his tone of voice changed.
i just shrugged.
"can i see how skinny you are?" he asked curiously, "i mean only if you're okay with that,"
i lifted up my shirt revealing my rib cages, his facial expression turned shocked as his mouth opened wide and his eyebrows knitted together.
"I'm getting you more food right away here ill make you a sandwich, do you want more soup?? how about some hot chocolate with marshmallows that should fatten you up," he went on and on and on. he sounded like my grandma when she found out i hadn't eaten that day.
she cared for me more then anyone in the family... she was the only one who knew... who knew i was gay.
i watched phil head over to the fridge still rambling on, he bent over to reach something at the bottom of the fridge.
i subconsciously tilted my head.. phil has a nice bum.