A different christmas //PHAN\\ (boyxboy)

chapter 7

*DANS POV*
a few hours had past since Tyler left, we still hadn't decorated the tree but that was fine. we did end up watching another episode of American horror story, it was now nearly 10pm.
i was feeling a little queasy and sick in my stomach.
i was laying on Phil again as we finished of this episode, he was stroking little parts of my hair and tickling my forehead but at the same time he was completely focused on the tele.
i wasn't as comfortable this time, only because of how sick i was feeling, the credits came on and we still sat there and i was tracking down where the bathroom was in my head from memory.
"so dan-" he started but i cut him off by jumping up and rushing up the stairs to the toilet, my head in the bowel and i was chucking up all the food i had eaten today, basically blasting out of my mouth it felt horrible.
before i knew it Phils hand was on my back massaging circles, "there there Dan" he tried to comfort me but the food was still pouring out. disgusting right?
after about a minute i had finally stopped THANK GOD it was over!
Phil was still comforting me, "how are you feeling?" he asked.
"a...fa-fairly horrible..." i muttered, "light...headed..."
Phil put his arm around me, i lifted my head away from the toilet i couldn't really see straight but i could see Phil passing me a wet cloth, i took it a wiped my mouth.
his arm was still around me, soon enough i could see again and i made eye contact with him.
"Phil..." i asked, his attention was all on me, "how long do you want me to stay for?"
*PHILS POV*
forever. i wanted him to stay forever but he wouldn't want to do that he probably doesn't even want to be here now,
"a while... do you want to stay for christmas?" i suggested.
he nodded he seemed to be in a really bad state, i awkwardly lifted up his shirt drawing both our eyes to his boney body, i put his shirt back down.
"i shouldn't have fed you so much all at once it must have come to a shock to your body.." i apologised.
Dan just stared at me, what the hell was he thinking?
"we should go to bed.. i can sleep on the couch you can have my bed." i offered but he declined automatically shaking his head,
"no i can take the couch its your bed.." he insisted but i wouldnt allow it.

we went to sleep i slept on the couch he slept in the bed upstairs.

i woke up around 4am to footsteps upstairs, i walked up to the bedroom, "Dan are you alright? are you feeling sick again?" i asked as he was pacing back and fourth around my room. his head shot up to my direction,
"couldnt sleep.." he muttered.
"you were fine sleeping earlier," i stated and then realised that was when we were cuddling, "do... do you want me to sleep with you?" i asked softly.
he looked shocked at first his beautiful eyes shot up towards me.. he looked... gorgeous.
"uh... yeah... yeah okay..." he nodded his head frantically and we climbed into bed. we were both uncomfortable and awkward at first but we managed as i put my arm around him and he rested his head on my chest again.
i watched him for a bit as i stroked his smooth brown hair.
"your gorgeous," i whispered, i think he was already asleep though because there was no response, i guess i was kind of glad he didn't hear.
i stroked his hair until i fell asleep.

i woke up around 8, i looked down to Dan who was awake but still cuddling me. i blinked a few times to try and wake up.
"how long have you been awake for?" i asked signalling him i was awake which made him flinch slightly... he does that a lot. Dan moved off me slightly but i kept my arm around him.
"a couple hours maybe..."
"you could've gotten up." i smiled at him and i got a half hearted smile in return.
"i know."
"do you want to get up now?"
"not really,"
"okay," i agreed and pulled him close again.

*DANS POV*
Phil pulled me close to him again, i liked being in his arms. i felt safe there. he started stroking my hair again... he did that a lot. i enjoyed it, it relaxed me.
i closed my eyes not to sleep, just to think about things. to think about Phil.
he is the reason i actually got to eat a meal yesterday, he is the reason i got to sleep in a bed last night for the first time in 2 years. he was sucha kind hearted person. he had beautiful blue eyes and the softest touch with his hands and...
he called me gorgeous last night.. i acted like i was asleep because i didnt know how to respond, but when he called me gorgeous i had the same feeling i did when he kissed me on the street yesterday, that feels like that was so long ago.
he still didnt know why i was crying.
he still didnt know i was crying because that wasnt my first kiss. it was my second. my first kiss wasnt real... i didnt like it... my first was when my step dad raped me.
Phil's kiss just brought back memories from that... because it was my first kiss since i was 9 and i... was raped.
is it stupid i was crying because of some kiss? i dont know but i always try and forget that memory... just think about something else Dan... think of how good of a kisser Phil is, wait what?
i opened my eyes and looked at Phil, who was already staring back at me, i stared at his lips and went for it.
i kissed him.
and it felt amazing.
Phils lips were moving in sync with mine, his lips were so smooth, his eyes were close and mine were still open... i had no idea what i was doing but i liked it. slowly Phil slipped his tung into my mouth and it felt so nice and thats when i closed my eyes.
after about a minute of his tung exploring my mouth i finally took my turn and slipped my tung into his, as i did that i felt Phil's warm hands moving up my boney back.
we continued this for a few minutes... was this classified as making out? yes i clearly have no idea what I'm doing. suddenly i hear a buzzing coming from behind me, it didn't bother me but Phil pulled away smiling at me, this time i smiled back for real this time.
he kissed my cheek and rubbed my arm, then he got up leaving me in bed. i was enjoying myself but he got up to answer his god damn phone.
"hello?... yeah I'm kinda bus-.... today?" Phil turned and looked at me. "um... yeah sure i guess.... one sec." he covered his hand over his phone,
"do you maybe wanna... see one of my friends today?" he asked me.
i don't like people. but i do enjoy spending time with Phil.
"we still need to decorate the tree..." i tried to avoid socialising with who ever this person was.
"we have 3 more days until christmas Dan,"
"okay.." i agreed finally. or should i just go back to my bench next to the street light?
"yeah should be fine... is it okay if i bring my um..." i watched him scratch the back of his head for a moment, "friend?... sweet okay bye!"
Phil finally came back to me and sat on the bed, am i his friend? judging by the occurrence that just happened i kind of thought more but... I'm surprised I'm even his friend, he just stared at me for a moment. he placed his hand on mine.
"i love you Dan," he said with no hesitation, okay i think we are more then friends, i looked down at our hands and back to his face.
"i think i love you too." i stuttered. what the HELL was that?
Phil looked down, not at anything in particular just avoiding eye contact.
"i... mean i love you," i tried to save it but he still didn't look at me.
"so a smaller meal for breakfast this time right? you want bacon?"
i nodded.
he got up and left the room.
"I love you," i whispered knowing he didn't hear but wishing so badly he did.

authors note
okay so i think that was a shitty chapter but idk. what time is it? ill check, okay 1:20am. ill write more maybe in a couple of hours. or not i might not be able to write anything good.
see this is even a shitty authors note im just writing whatever im thinking.

anyway vote or comment if you do want more just so i know ~<3

Instagram// @ howellstripper
okay baii x
-chicken