The Secret I Wished To Keep//FOAH (DISCONTINUED)

The kiss

NOAH
This is never where I'd thought I would be. I'm currently standing in a very limited spaced closet with Finn standing right opposite me, really close.

"A-Are you ok Noah? You haven't said anything since we entered the closet..." Finn said.

"I-I've never done this before..." I said as I rubbed the back of my head.

"It's ok. It's just a dare. Just relax baby..." Finn said.

"W-What?" I asked. Did he just call me baby?

"It's ok. It's just a dare. Just relax Noah." Finn repeated. Turns out he didn't call me baby.

"Oh." I said. I was really nervous now.

All of a sudden, I felt a pair of lips on mine. Finn held his hands on my cheek as he kissed me. I was now relaxed being in his arms. The kiss became deeper. Oh my...his lips are so soft...and so sweet. I never want this to end.

"Alright! Time's up!" Millie yelled from outside. Damn it. Before Millie opened the door, Finn and I separated.

"Great kiss Noah." Finn said sounding a little sincere.
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We went on with the game, but I still thought about my kiss with Finn. I kept staring at him secretly. As the game went on, I decided to talk to Millie.

"Hey Mills...can I speak to you for a minute? About sleeping arrangements?" I asked.

Millie hesitantly stood up. We walked to the closest bedroom and I locked the door behind me.

"Are you ok Noah?" Millie asked.

"NO! I'm not ok! I just my first kiss with my crush and it ended!" I said upset.

"Sorry Noah..." Millie said.

"I thought I specifically said no hinting at it either!" I said getting more upset.

"I didn't hint at it at all. It was just a silly dare." Millie said.

"That's the thing Mills. It wasn't just a dare for me. It was a special moment since it was my very first kiss. Now I'll never get that moment back..." I said as I unlocked the door and left the room.

I could hear Millie yelling my name but I just kept walking.
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I walked over to the elevator which brought us up here. I could hear the rest of the party still playing the game, but I decided to leave. I headed down to the lobby where Rachel greeted me. I walked past her, not saying a word. I walked out of the doors and spent the next 2 hours walking around the streets of New York. I saw all these men and women holding hands as they walked. I wish I could have what they have. Damn it! Why did I have to be gay?!

Before it got dark, I made my way back to the hotel, down the cold paths. I made it to the hotel and went inside, just heading straight to the  elevator. When I got up to the penthouse suite, I went straight to my room. I heard the door open and I saw Millie.

"Hey Schnipper" Millie said as she walked over to me. Out of nowhere, I started crying.

"Hey...hey...hey...what's wrong?" Millie asked.

"I went out of the hotel and as I walked, I saw many men and women holding hands. They looked so happy. Why did I have to be gay? Why couldn't I have an attraction to girls like everyone else?" I asked.

"Noah...don't say that. Your gay because it's who you are. If you weren't gay...I wouldn't recognise you. Being gay isn't a bad thing. I swear that you'll find someone who loves you." Millie said. She left me to sleep. As I laid in bed, I thought about everything.

What would my life be like if I wasn't gay? Is Millie right? Of course Millie is right! Will I ever find someone who loves me?

I eventually fell asleep to these thoughts.
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This is never where I'd thought I would be. I'm currently standing in a very limited spaced closet with Finn standing right opposite me, really close.

"A-Are you ok Noah? You haven't said anything since we entered the closet..." Finn said.

"I-I've never done this before..." I said as I rubbed the back of my head.

"It's ok. It's just a dare. Just relax baby..." Finn said.

"W-What?" I asked. Did he just call me baby?

"It's ok. It's just a dare. Just relax Noah." Finn repeated. Turns out he didn't call me baby.

"Oh." I said. I was really nervous now.

All of a sudden, I felt a pair of lips on mine. Finn held his hands on my cheek as he kissed me. I was now relaxed being in his arms. The kiss became deeper. Oh my...his lips are so soft...and so sweet. I never want this to end.

As the kiss got deeper I pulled away.

"F-Finn...I need to tell you something." I said, my voice shaking.

"What is it Noah?" Finn asked.

"I-I love you Finn. For real." I said.

"Y-You love me?" Finn asked.

"Yeah..." I said.

He let go.

"I could never love someone as gay and as disgusting as you!" Finn said opening the door.

"H-How could you say that?" I asked, my eyes starting to water.

"I will never love you Noah..." Finn said as the rest of the party showed up.

"He will never love you!" Sadie said.

"You're too ugly!" Gaten spoke.

"Don't worry Noah. You'll find a trashass who loves you hopefully..." Millie said harshly.

As they kept throwing insults at me, I was being backed into a corner. They eventually swallowed me whole.

"NOOOO!" I screamed as I jolted up. "It-It was just a nightmare..." I said as I panted heavily. I began crying again.