The Trees Smell Like Lemons

17. Cry with colour

After dinner they sat at the kitchen table and Bea told Adam everything she'd found out in the last few days: the redaction of the accident report, the detective coming to take the file back and finding the broken phone in the box. She didn't tell him that she thought the phone wasn't Sara's. Best not to get her hopes up until she knew for sure. Adam listened patiently and only interrupted once to ask what the name of the detective was that had given her Sara's things.

"Detective Harper. He's a little strange but he didn't tell my parents that I stole Sara's case file."

"Right," Adam said, looking slightly pale. Bea guessed he was uncomfortable with her stealing from the police. She decided to change the subject.

"Also, there's one more thing. Wait here." Bea dashed upstairs to her room. She'd left Sara's room as she'd found it and locked the door again in case her parents noticed. She had taken the bundle of love letters and hidden them under her own mattress. She retrieved them and brought them downstairs.

"I found these hidden in Sara's room. They're love letters, all signed by someone with the initials A. H. I'm guessing it's the same mystery guy that got her pregnant."

"Love letters? Now that's an old school tactic," whistled Adam. "Have you read them?"

"Only the one on the top of the pile," Bea confessed, "It seemed very private, I felt guilty after I read it. Sara kept them hidden from everyone, even me. There was a time when we had no secrets between us. Now I can't help but wonder what else she was hiding."

"Everyone has their secrets Bea, but I'm sure Sara had a good reason for not telling you about A. H. Maybe she was trying to protect you," Adam said gently.

"Why on earth would I need protecting?" Bea asked.

"Like I said, we all have secrets and not all of them are easy to carry. Sometimes it's kinder to keep them to ourselves to spare the people we love from their burdens."

As Adam spoke, Bea wondered what secrets he was hiding. There was a silence between them. Bea thought back to the other evening in the secret attic. The sensation of being close to Adam, breathing in his scent. His fingers on her cheek had sent electric shocks through her. Feeling emboldened she reached across the table and took Adam's hand.

Adam jerked back, scattering the letters onto the floor.

"I'm sorry!" Bea and Adam said at the same time.

"No, it was my fault," Adam insisted. "I was in another world and you surprised me."

"It's fine," Bea said, feeling incredibly stupid. Of course she had misread the situation. Back in the attic Adam hadn't been about to kiss her, he was probably leaning in to pick something out of her hair, a friendly gesture. She shook the memory off and bent down the pick up the letters.

As she collected them, Bea noticed a piece of paper loose and not in an envelope. She recognised Sara's writing immediately.

Adam noticed her staring at the paper. "Did you find something?"

Bea turned the piece of paper so he could see. "A poem?" he asked.

"The Angel by William Blake, it was Sara's favourite. She could recite it from memory." Bea smiled sadly at the paper. She was holding it like it might crumble to dust at any moment.

"I wonder why this was in with the letters from A.H," she thought aloud.

"Will you read it to me?" Adam asked quietly.

Bea was caught off guard for a moment. She glanced at Adam sceptically, not sure if he was serious. He looked back at her earnestly, so she began to read.