Hello, Goodbye

I Feel... Happy

I felt nothing. Not even joy. Day in and day out I wouldn't leave my room. Seteth and the Archbishop came to see me a few times to check in on me. But despite all the obvious people around me who cared...I still felt barely anything. Dimitri came by once with my favorite tea and I just couldn't bring myself to look him in the eyes. I was broken and undeserving. This went on for what felt like an eternity but it was only three months. I could barely even bring myself to eat, but I felt as if things were slowly getting better. I would cry some but I couldn't bring myself to smile or laugh.The one person who barely ever left my side was Claude.  I had heard rumors that Flayn had been abducted by a man who called himself The Death Knight. A new enemy known as the Flame Emperor had appeared as well.  A knock on the door got my attention. The door opened slowly as Dimitri entered the room. He had a small bag in his hand with a pink ribbon attached. 

"Hello Thalia. How are you feeling today?" He sat down on the bed next to me. "I feel some better today. I actually managed to finish my lunch." He laughed softly before handing me the bag. "Well, that's wonderful. I know it's not much but...Happy Birthday." My eyes widened. I had completely forgot that today was my birthday. I took the bag from him and opened it up. Inside was a few of my favorite pastries and a small box. I picked up the box out of the bag and opened it. Tucked away inside of it was a silver bracelet with a series of blue and silver charms. I held it up to the light and watched as it glistened. I could feel my eyes begin to water. "Dimitri...it's... perfect. Could you put it on me?" He nodded and I handed him the bracelet. He clasped it gently around my wrist and let it fall. "It suits you." I nodded up at him.

"Dimitri...I'm sorry. Claude...you... none of you deserve how cold I've been but... I can't feel anything else. All I feel is sadness. I don't want to feel this. I want to feel something else." I buried my head between my hands and cried. Dimitri placed a hand on my shoulder. "Thalia. Look at me. I...I want to try something." Slowly I turned to meet his gaze. He cupped my face in his hands and kissed me gently. I wanted to kiss him back but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I felt nothing. The sparks I had felt before, the butterflies that flew the last time he kissed me... they were all gone. I believe Dimitri could feel that as well because almost instantly he drew back from me. "Dimitri...I'm sorry." He shook his head. "No it's fine. I just thought that might help is all. I have to go. Is there anything else I can get for you before I leave?" I just shook my head and he walked to the door. "Goodnight Thalia." He exited my room and as soon as he did the flood gates opened.

Tears flooded down my face. I couldn't take this anymore. I ran out of my room and began to beat on Claude's door. "Claude, open up please!! I can't do this anymore!" The door opened suddenly and I nearly tackled him. He pulled me inside and closed the door. "Thalia, what's the matter." I clung to him and he held me close. "I'm tired of feeling only sadness. I'm tired of not feeling joy and happiness. I... He kissed me Claude. Dimitri kissed me and I felt nothing!" Claude walked me over to the bed and sat me down in his lap. "Thalia... You're gonna be okay. I know you are. You're so strong. I know this is a battle you can and will win. But don't be afraid to talk to those who care about you. We're here for you. We want to support you." He moved me to the bed and walked over to his dresser. Out of the first drawer he pulled out two boxes. One was bigger and the other was small. Out of the bigger box he pulled a small chocolate cake with white icing.

I ran throughout the Riegan house happy as could be. Duke Riegan had gifted me a dagger for my sixteenth birthday. It was beautiful and well made. As I turned the corner Claude jumped out in front of me with a small platter. On this platter was a cake with white icing. "Happy Birthday Thalia! You said chocolate was your favorite right?" A smile lit my face as we carried it back to the room and devoured it whole.

"Thalia... you're smiling." I looked up at Claude and he had a massive grin on his face. "Shoot, if I knew a damn cake would have gotten it out of you I would have done that a long time ago." I shook my head excitement filling me. "No... I just recalled my birthday two years ago. The look on your face as we ate my birthday cake together. It's the same look you have right now. That day was the first time in years I truly felt joy. Joy...because of you. You've always been there for me Claude." I stood up from the bed and took the cake from him. I sat it on the desk and turned to wrap my arms around his waist. He sighed and pulled me close to him. "Thalia...where did you get that bracelet?" I looked down at my arm and smiled. "Dimitri gave it to me for...my birthday." Claude ruffeled my hair gently. "He's probably at the training grounds. Go talk to him. I'll make sure this chocolatey goodness stays safe for you." I nodded at him and took off. 

The second I came into contact with the outside I felt a surge throughout my entire body. I had been cooped up for three months and I could tell the difference. "Felix!!" I shouted from the top of my lungs as I ran up to the raven haired boy. "Thalia. It's good to see you out. How are you feeling?" I grinned up at him. "I feel happy! Is Dimitri at the training grounds?" He rolled his eyes and nodded. I thanked him and ran. By the time I got there I was out of breath. I opened the door and walked in. There he stood in position with his lance. I ran up to him and wrapped my arms around him. He went to grab at my hands but stopped. "Thalia?" I burried my head in his back and pulled him as close as I possibly could. He turned in my arms to return the embrace. "What's the matter Thalia?" I looked at him with a grin on my face. I leaned up and gave him a small kiss. "Nothings wrong. I'm just... I'm happy Dimitri!" His face lit up and he spun me around. "That's wonderful, Thalia! I'm so glad!" 

Once he sat me back down on the ground I tiptoed my lips to his once more. He tilted my head back slightly to deepen the kiss. He tugged on my hair gently and licked my lips. I parted them gladly allowing his tongue to dance with mine. My back hit one of the stone pillars causing me to gasp. His hands went to my bottom and lifted me up, my legs wrapped around his waist. "Thalia...I'm sorry. I've not been there for you like I should. I've hurt you without meaning too and I'm sorry." I smiled at him, kissing his nose. "It's okay, Dimitri. How about we start over?" He smiled softly. "I'd like that. A lot." He brought his lips to mine once more. Just then I remembered the cake. I pulled back from Dimitri, perhaps a bit too quickly and almost fell. He held me up and lowered me to the ground. "I forgot! Claude made me a cake. I was supposed to have cake with Claude for my birthday!" Dimitri let out a hearty laugh. "Go on. I have a funny feeling I need to thank him anyway." I gave Dimitri one last kiss before running back to Claude's room to devour some chocolate cake.