Hello, Goodbye

The News

It took five days for Felix and I five days to make it to Derdriu. Five hard, sickening days. Literally. What I later found out was that morning sickness had finally settled into my body. Every few hours I was sick and caused Felix nothing but worry. When we arrived in Derdriu he told the medics how I had been and that's when they told him it was absolutely normal. Once Felix knew I was safe he left for Fraldarius Territory.  From the time we left Garreg Mach it took three weeks and three days before bells rang throughout the city. I ran through the city without skipping a beat till I got to the border. There, talking with the soldiers, stood Claude. The sun shone on him almost elegantly as it sat behind the mountains but the look on his face spelled absolute defeat. He looked up at me and I ran into his arms. "Thalia. Thank goodness. I am so glad to see you." I wrapped my arms around his waist and the smell of blood and smoke filled my nostrils. "Claude... What happened?" He pulled away and we walked through town. "The monastery was overtaken. We were all ordered by the Archbishop to evacuate. I found Dimitri, but he refused to listen to me. He's a completely different person now Thal. His bloodlust. It's unlike anything I've ever seen before. I'm sorry." I shook my head as we walked into his home. "It's okay. I'm worried about not only his safety but his sanity as well." 

We walked into the estate room where his grandfather awaited him. He recounted the events that had happened and stated that Edelgard declared war on the Alliance as well as the Kingdom. "Lords in the Kingdom have already started swearing fealty to the Empire. Things aren't looking too good right now." Claude's grandfather nodded in understanding. "I see. Thalia will continue to stay in Derdriu until it is no longer deemed safe for her or the baby." Claude understood where his grandfather was coming from and I knew he did. It was hard to hear. The news that I might have to leave Fodlan. We finished our talk with his grandfather and then Claude walked me to my room. "Claude... about what you said back then." He stopped me with a hand in the air. "I meant every word I said Thal. I love you. But I don't want what I said to confuse you or make this...hard." He placed his hand over my stomach. "Get you some rest okay. You need it."

I captured his wrist in my hand causing him to look back at me. "Please... don't leave me." He looked at the ground before looking at me. "Please don't make this hard for me Thal. Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to not kiss you right now? How hard it is for me to not beg you to chose me over Dimitri? I want you so bad right now that it hurts. Knowing that he saw all of you and you screamed out his name when all I've wanted for months now is to pleasure every inch of you and have you to scream out my name. Its killing me Thal. So please... just give me some space right now." He pulled his wrist from my grasp and walked away. I fell to the ground and cried. For the first time in years I felt completely useless.

5 months later

I sat in my room mostly. Every time I saw Claude I would walk in the other direction just to avoid him. What he said that day broke me. I soon come to realize that with distance and absolutely no communication things changed only a bit. The love I had for the child in my tummy never changed. And neither did the love I felt for Dimitri. I remembered the nights we spent together but beyond that... nothing. I couldn't even remember how I felt when I kissed him. But I knew I still loved him. It just made no sense to me how I had managed to avoid Claude for this long. "Alright sweetie just lay down okay?" I nodded to the mage and laid flat on my back. She used her magic to observe my body. I closed my eyes as the heat from her hands done wonders for my sore muscles. "Alright. All done." I sat up slowly and swung my legs over the bed. I looked up and was met with emerald eyes. "Hello Thalia. Would you like to go for a walk?" He extended his hand to me and I took it.

We walked out of the infirmary and down the hall to the garden that was just off the east wing of the estate. "So what are things looking like right now?" I sat down at the small table in the gardens center and he sat down across from me. "That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about." He reached over and took my hands in his. "There is absolutely no easy way for me to say this Thalia. I just received word this morning from Felix that Dimitri is dead." I gasped and it literally felt like someone had put a vice grip around my throat. I began to breathe rapidly causing Claude to come and rub circles on my back. "How? I don't understand."  Claude took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "He was sentenced in the murder of his uncle. He was executed." I grabbed ahold of Claudes shirt and begun to bawl into his chest. He picked me up and carried me back to his room. He sat me down on his bed and laid next to me as I cried.

"So... what does this mean for me... for the baby?" Claude continued to rub circles on my back. "Your child must be kept an absolute secret. If word where to get out that Dimitri had an heir. One that could potentially carry his crest it would be bad. So me and grandfather have decided you will birth the baby here but once the baby is born you will go stay with my parents in Almyra." This only got me to crying harder. I gripped at Claude as hard as I could. He cradled me to his chest and started to rock me. He kept this up for a few minutes till I finally stopped crying. I couldn't open my eyes anymore. They felt so heavy. I kept them shut and slowly drifted off into a dreamless sleep.