Dear Diary

Chapter 68

"So ... you and Richard have been friends since you were babies?" Cole asked the next day as he stood at a framed collage of pictures which consisted of Richard and I from the time we were babies up until the age of sixteen. 

I decided it would be safest if we stayed in my room, because my mom didn't just walk in without my permission, and I didn't feel like another near-miss. For good measure he also parked his bike a block away.

"Basically," I said. "Our moms are best friends, were neighbours and go to the same church, so we automatically spent a lot of time together."

"Where's he now then?" Cole asked as he turned to look at me busy shifting through the channels of my little radio.

"In the holidays he has to stay home and look after his three younger siblings," I answered and my eyes lit up when I recognized one of the songs. "Oh! I love this song!" I said with a smile as Suzi Quatro's song 'She's in love with you' pumped through the speakers.

Unfortunately I momentarily forgot who my company was and the meaning of the song sunk in: a shy girl in love with a guy. I gulped as I suddenly felt the urge to hide in a hole. What if Cole caught on? I couldn't even change the station because I just said that I loved it.

I awkwardly sat there for a moment, listening to the beat and words. What are the odds that a song like this would come on now? Eventually the three minutes of torture were over and I sighed when the next song began. I also liked this one.

"I would love to be able to dance to this," I said as I tapped my foot slightly to the beat.

"Well, why don't you?" Cole asked as he came up next to me.

I gave a nervous laugh-type snort. "I have two left feet when it comes to dancing, all I end up doing is going in a circle."

"So, that dance-thing next week Friday ... you just going to sit out on the actual purpose of the whole evening?" Cole asked with a raised eyebrow and I shrugged.

"It's what I do at every formal function. No one ever bothered to teach me and if they do try, I'm a disaster."

"I could teach you," Cole stated and my eyes widened.

"You can dance?" 

Somehow he never struck me as the kind who could, but I should know by now to no longer be surprised by Cole Knight.

Cole shrugged. "My dad taught me and I used to practise with my mom and sister."

I bit the inside of my cheek. I guess I better learn sometime. "Okay," I muttered.

Cole nodded towards my wardrobe. "What shoes are you going to wear? It's best to practise in them."

"Right," I said and opened one of my drawers to pull out a pair of silver platform four-inch stilettos. "I've only worn them once before, at my sister's wedding, which was ... nine months ago," I said after I counted in my head.

"Those are very high shoes," Cole said as he watched me sit down on my carpeted floor and pull off my fluffy socks before putting on the heels.

"Yes, but the platform and strap around the ankle helps a lot," I said and slowly stood, wobbling a moment, before straightening. "See?" 

I looked down and couldn't help but shake my head at the sight: over-sized, old hoodie, baggy pants and four-inch heels. Could I be any more of a fashion disaster?

"Okay, I think maybe we should start with a slower song," Cole said as he went through the radio stations before finding a slow song.

He walked up to me and I glared at his chest. "This is so unfair."

"What?"

"I just put on four-inch heels and I still don't reach your shoulder!" I said, mentally cursing my lack of height.

Cole shook his head and gave a low chuckle as a smile tugged at his lips. My heart sped as he closed the distance between us and placed one hand on my waist while he grabbed my right hand to stretch it out slightly to the side with his. I hesitated a moment before placing my left hand on his strong shoulder. 

A dangerous need to ramble suddenly came over me in an effort to hide my nervousness. "So, now you are not only my maths tutor, but dance instructor too. What next? You teach me how to kiss?" I blurted out, but immediately clamped my mouth shut when I realised what I said.

I did not just say that.

Cole suddenly leaned in so close that our noses almost touched. "I could if you wanted," he said lowly and I felt my mouth go dry as the room seemed to heat up by a hundred degrees.

I gave a shy smile as I looked down at my feet, cheeks aflame. I quickly patted his shoulder to try and shake off the feelings his words evoked. "Let's ... just stick to the dancing," I whispered.

"As you wish," Cole said and straightened. I took a subtle breath in relief. "Okay, this is a waltz so it's obviously a three-beat rhythm. Just follow my lead."

I nodded my head mutely and I felt his hold tighten on my waist as he stepped and I tried to follow with my gaze to the floor.

"Don't look at your feet," Cole said and I huffed, embarrassment forgotten.

"Well, where am I supposed to look?" I asked as I looked up with a raised eyebrow. 

Cole took that moment to pull me so close that I felt our fronts touch, successfully prohibiting me from being able to look back down at my feet. My eyes widened from the action and my heart sputtered as I stared at him.

For a reason unknown to me, I suddenly no longer focused on how my feet were going and allowed my body to follow his obediently. The intoxicating smell of his cologne filled my mind and I felt myself almost become hypnotised by those deep brown eyes of his as they didn't waver once from my own.

When the song drew to a close, Cole made no notion of letting me go and, to be honest, I didn't either. I liked the feeling of his arms around me. It felt as though he could protect me from everything.

I looked at Cole, thinking deeply. Why was he helping me? Why wasn't he letting go? Did ... did he maybe like me? No. He asked Amy to the dance, so why would he like me? It was obvious he was interested in her, not me. 

Those hurt feelings that I tried so hard to bury returned full-force and I looked away. What am I doing? I'm just hurting myself unnecessarily. He likes Amy. That's it.

I quickly stepped out of his arms, but I didn't manage to get away fast enough as he grabbed my elbow, gently pulling me back to him. "What's wrong?" he asked but I refused to look at him.

Did he seriously not know? Did he not know what he was doing to me? How torn my heart was feeling at loving a boy who didn't return the affection and was, in fact, going after my favourite cousin?  How I wanted to tell him how I felt, but couldn't, knowing that it wouldn't end well?

I could never do that to Amy, no matter my feelings. I'm not sure how she feels about him, but I didn't want either of them getting burned through a scandalous story. I've experience it myself and it's not fun. I looked at the ground and shook my head, hoping he would let me go. 

However, he stepped closer and let go of my wrist only to cup my face with his warm hands and forced me to look at him, at his beautiful dark eyes. "Talk to me, Elizabeth."

How could I talk to him? How could I tell him that I'm so madly in love with him that it tears my heart in two to know he likes someone else? Maybe I should just be bold for once and say it.

I scoffed at my own thought. Yeah, right. It'll just end in a disaster.

I shook my head, realizing Cole was still waiting for a reply. "Nothing," I forced a smile. "I just remembered I won't be home tomorrow."

"Why?" Cole asked and I think I heard a small hint of disappointment.

"I have to meet with my dressmaker," I replied. 

And clearly get my head checked.