Dear Diary

Chapter 105

For a moment Sophia did nothing but stare at Mr Evans blankly, his words tumbling around her mind. She blinked and opened her mouth to respond but no sound was made. She was stunned beyond words.

Mr Evans' caramel eyes flickered down at his desktop as his hand slowly returned to his side. "I ... realise this might be a bit of a shock to you, considering all that you've undoubtedly read about me. I guess your mother didn't speak much about me either. I wouldn't blame her ... not after what I did to her."

Sophia frowned slightly at his words.

Mr Evans bit the inside of his cheek and looked Sophia over once more. "I can't believe I didn't register who you were. You look exactly like she did at your age." He shook his head. "Sophia Knight ... I guess they did get married after all. I had hoped it was just a rumour." A pensive look came over Richard's slightly aging features. "Um, how ... is your mother? Is she well?"

Sophia felt her heart drop at his words. Richard didn't know. 

She felt her mouth go dry. "Uh ..." she stuttered and tried to swallow the sudden lump in her throat as she stared at the face of her mother's past. "Sir ... um, my mom died ... eighteen years ago."

Now it was Mr Evans' turn to look shocked as his eyes widened and his back straightened. "W-What?"

Sophia glanced down at her boots, feeling guilty as she always did when thinking of her mother. "I ... never knew her, she died when I was born."

Mr Evans sucked in a harsh breath as he shakily lowered himself down into his seat, his face growing pale as he stared at her in disbelief. It was a tense silence as Sophia awaited his reaction. She was expecting him to burst into a fit of rage at any moment, screaming his lungs out that Sophia was the cause of her mother's death (she's been expecting that from her father for the last eighteen years) but it never happened.

"Lizzy ..." His voice held such remorse that it made Sophia feel even worse. "How ... how come no-one told me?" he whispered and pressed his slightly trembling lips into a tight line. Sophia noticed his eyes had grown a tint redder. "If only I hadn't ... I," he frowned and realisation dawned on his face. "Wait ... she died when you were born?"

Sophia slowly nodded sensing the oncoming accusation that she predicted. 

Mr Evans stared at her. "What happened? Were there complications? Did something go wrong? What?" he pressed. 

Sophia's lips trembled at his rise in tone, but it was more from frustration than anger, she could tell.

"I don't know, sir," she replied as calmly as she could. "No-one ever told me."

"Your father had something to do with it, didn't he?" The soft, but venomous undertone of Mr Evans' voice did not go undetected by Sophia. He scowled. "That Cole was a danger to her from the start. I knew I should never have gone with her secret, I should've told her parents from the start." He curled his hands into tight fists. "If I had, she never would've fallen in love with him!" he snarled and slammed his fist down on the desktop.

Sophia flinched at the action and stared at Mr Evans wide-eyed, but he suddenly crumbled, slumping forward in his seat as he threaded his fingers through his hair, tears rolling down his cheeks. 

"She would still be here if I had," his voice broke. "I should've been a better friend to her. When she was already struggling I just kicked her down further. I should never have said what I said to her. I should've protected her, I promised I would, but I did the exact opposite. My feelings should never have gotten in the way."

Sophia didn't know how to respond as she watched the always grumpy Mr Evans break down in front of her. She didn't know what he was referring to, but she had a feeling it was the scene that he had interrupted her from reading. What had he done to her mother that day? Nevertheless, Sophia still found it unnerving watching a grown man crumble from grief like this.