Dear Diary

Chapter 56

I don't know what happened. One minute Cole is tucking me into bed and the next he acts as though I don't even exist.

The next day when I arrived at school I saw him walking in the hallway. I gave him my usual timid smile and I saw his eyes flicker to me for a split-second before he looked in front of him and ignored my greeting completely. His sudden coldness towards me shocked me so that I ended up standing frozen on the spot for a good few seconds staring at his retreating back.

The rest of the day didn't go any better for me either. When he came over to my house, he treated me with the same coldness that he did everyone else, and it left me feeling extremely confused. 

What did I do? It's like whenever I have a tiny step of progress with him, he takes twenty giant leaps backwards.

Thinking that maybe he was just having an off-day, I didn't bother bringing up my tutoring because he clearly wasn't in the mood to talk. However, the next day his attitude towards me didn't change so I didn't even bother sitting with them as they rehearsed their scenes and rather went to my room to prepare for the upcoming exams.

The following day I managed to get a moment alone with Amy and asked her why they couldn't practise at her house. Cole's reticent attitude has put me on edge more than I'll care to admit. What happened that made him ... hate me?

Because that was how I was feeling at the moment.

Amy had told me her mom would not be pleased with her if she brought two guys home that she didn't even know and her sister, who was studying through correspondence, needed the house quiet. I was more than a little dismayed by her response. 

I'm someone who likes to avoid problems, and it's very difficult to ignore someone when they are still going to be in your house for a week and a half.

Dobey didn't mind though. He was absolutely in love with Cole, which made it all the more frustrating. Cole showed more attention to my dog than to me. However, me being me, I spent the remaining days hidden in my room attempting to study and then the next day would confide in Anne, who was also baffled by his behaviour.

Eventually the two weeks were over and my house was free to me once more. Somehow, I still don't know how, I had managed to keep Cole's presence away from my mom's knowledge. But it was kind of easy because Cole never spoke to me again after that first rehearsal. And, although he was acting ... I don't know, I still missed him. He seemed stressed whenever I saw him in the halls and I wanted nothing more than for him to open up to me and tell me what was wrong.

Another week passed and the time came for the chosen people to perform the play. Thankfully Cole hadn't been Romeo for any of the kissing scenes. I'm not sure if my heart would have been able to handle seeing him kiss my cousin. Even though he wasn't talking to me, it didn't stop my heart from liking him. After all, on average my crushes last five years without me even talking to them. So imagine how long it will take to get over him?

Anyway, the three weeks practise had definitely paid off. While other people stumbled and blanked with their lines - Richard, Amy and Cole performed their scenes effortlessly. The play was a nice way to end the term as the following week exams hit us full force.

I didn't bother trying to arrange a time to meet with Cole to go over equations and problems because I came to the conclusion that he no longer wanted to talk to me. Besides, I'm sure he needed to prepare for his own exams. 

At least, that's what I told myself.

An agonizingly slow month filled with late night study sessions and stress-filled days eventually drew to a close as we came to the end of June where we had one week left of school to go over our exam results before going on a month-long break. I'm proud to announce that I passed my maths exams. But even though the holiday was almost upon us, there was an added air of excitement for the seniors.

Now that exams were over and the holiday almost on its way, the talk of the school was the dance to be held the week after we return from winter-break. The reason the seniors were so excited was because it was exclusive to them.

Please, don't get me wrong. We still have prom at the end of the year, but this dance is on a whole other level. It's a charity fundraiser for the school, but it's massive. Custom designed dresses, partners, the latest or most impressive mode of transport, a walk-way filled with hundreds of people trying to get a glimpse of the couples, make-up artists, hairdressing appointments, pre-drinks and photo shoots ... You get the idea. It's a massive event and I'm petrified.

Luckily, I didn't have to worry about a date because Richard and I were still fake-dating, so it would be strange for us to arrive with other people. However, because I was best friends with one of the most popular boys in school, I was suddenly named matchmaker for all my single friends. 

Even though the dance was almost two months away, I was already starting to stress. Mainly because my parents didn't have as much money to throw around on one night as others and I was feeling guilty about everything I was going to put them through, because if you weren't impressive it was social suicide.

But what really got to me was the day school let out for winter-break. Anne and I were chattering away, promising to see each other soon, when we saw Amy walking towards us as if in a daze.

"What's wrong, Amy?" I called out and it took her a moment to register my voice.

"Oh no, nothing. It's just ..." Amy trailed off, causing Anne and I to cast each other a side-glance. 

She was acting strange, but what I was not expecting was the feeling as though I had just been punched to the stomach when I heard her next words.

"Cole just asked me to be his date to the dance."