Find A Way

Aftermath

The next morning I wake up with a soreness in my neck and throat that at first bewilders me, but as I begin to be pulled from sleep, the images from last night's events flash and flicker in my mind. I see Kyle's icey eyes which at first had been an electrifying and arousing spark, inviting me to take the risk. Now they only served as a simple reminder to what his intentions were.

I slide my hands hard over my face trying to wipe his face away, a heavy sense of shame filling my chest. The more I think of him, the more the pain burns in my heart.

I remember his aggressive grip on my arm pulling me to the back...

I remember his face smashing against mine, his stubble grinding at my chin and cheek...

I remember his hands on me...

I shoot up out of bed and shake my head, and throw my hair up into a bun to keep it out of my face. I look into the mirror to realize I'm still wearing my black dress.

Wow.

I think to myself.

No wonder he tried to take you... you look available...

I rip off my dress but I can't face myself again in the mirror. I don't need to look to know that my underwear is missing. I rummage through my drawers to grab underwear, pajama pants, and a t- shirt to throw on before I go face to my roommates. Pretending like last night never happened.

When I go down the stairs I can smell they've already perked coffee. I see James standing by the counter and Aiden sitting on the couch with half a bagel. James looks up at me with a knowing look on his face.

What happened last night?

His eyes are asking me.

I simply give a small shake of my head to remind him of his promise, and not to wear his emotions so clearly on his face. He quickly looks away from me back down onto his plate, continuing to butter his toast.

My attempt to cut the thick tension in the room is obvious.

"So Jamie, how did you sleep last night?" I ask with a tease in my voice.

"I ... uh..."

"He got a handjob before she threw up in his car" Aiden interrupts.

That's what that smell was.

I was mildly relieved to know I hadn't actually ruined his night. Addie had done that for me. I look over to James with sympathy.

"The car wash in Oxford has a really great cleaning crew, I'm sure they can get the vomit smelling lemon fresh" I offer.

James just nods as heads for the door. It's here again.

The tension.

Aiden is wearing his light blue button up with black dress pants. I loved him in blue. It always showed his gentle side. I walk around the corner to sit in the recliner next to him and watch the news while I drink my coffee. When I glance at him I notice his pecs are pushing more tightly against his shirt.

I let out a short breath into my mug.

A few minutes pass before he looks over to me. I try my best to not look at him. I can sense his eyes on me, urging me to look over. I fight it. I fight him. I'm still trying to pretend to be mad at him. Despite the fact that I was really just mad at myself.

I decide to break the thick air between us.

"What?" I say into my mug with an annoyed voice.

"I need to say I'm sorry about last night. It wasn't right for me to call you those names. I had been drinking."