Find A Way

The Phone Call

I find myself rudely awoken by Aiden's alarm going off at 5:30 AM. He had taken to waking up early and heading to the gym. Discipline I admired, but could never follow. He rolls over and wacks the snooze button before rolling back over to face me.

But he doesn't reach for me.

I find two things odd in the darkness of the early morning.

He hasn't hopped up out of bed to grab his gym bag and head out the door like usual. It's like he's delaying something.

He hasn't tried to make contact with me. Not a hug, or a hand on my belly as he enjoys cuddling up to me. It's like he's trying to guard against something. Maybe he's trying to guard his heart against me. Like I was with him.

His alarm button goes off again five minutes later and he wacks it again. Unwilling to rise from bed.

It goes off again.

And again.

Finally after twenty minutes of delay I hear James whip open his bedroom door and burst into Aidne's room. Aiden quickly covers me with his blanket and lets out a shocked "Dude what the hell?"

"Whoa what?" Says Jamie reacting just as surprised.

"Dude I uh... I got a girl in here..."

"Oh... sorry dude... guess that's why you haven't gotten up yet" he chuckles "turn that fucking thing off if your not gonna get up," finishes James as he stumbles back to bed.

I pull the blanket down off my face and giggle at Aiden. He looks down at me "that's why we are always in your bed. He doesn't bust in on you, like he does me."

I nod in agreement and close my eyes again trying to fall back asleep.

"That reminds me..." he begins, the tone of his voice making clear that whatever he's about to say, he completely regrets. I open my eyes to look over at him. He doesn't look down at me as he speaks. "I think we should probably stop...this...you know..." he rises from his bed and slips back into his sweatpants and sweatshirt from the night before.

"I want things to work out with Vanessa and I know she wouldn't understand you sleeping in my bed from time to time... so..."

"Yeah, yeah totally" I say as I quickly untangle myself from his sheets, embarrassed at how much I had taken advantage of our friendship.

"No." He stops me "you don't have to leave right now...just...for the future..."

I slowly sink back down on the bed and he comes over to give me a quick kiss on the forehead before heading out to the gym.

***

I wake up again in Aiden's blankets. His scent swimming around me as I take deep breaths in and out. It has me wondering if this is the closest I'll ever get. The closest I'll ever be to breathing his soul into mine.

I roll over to see a glass of water and aspirin on the side table and I smile. He's still taking care of me. Despite all that has happened between us in the past few months. I chug the water before I go back to my room to get my robe and head down for coffee.

James is sitting at the counter as always with his signature lucky charms. "You keep eating that shit you're gonna die of type two diabetes" I say to him grabbing the coffee pot.

"Hey do you know who was in Aiden's bed this morning?" He asks, completely ignoring my criticism. I freeze wondering if he's making a statement, not asking a question.

"Why the fuck would I know?" I respond, clearly annoyed "I assume it was Vanessa, he's been seeing her for like two months now."

"Yeah but Aiden said they like weren't gonna... you know..." he stammers making a crude gesture with his hand and finger.