Transfixed: A Draco Malfoy Fanfiction

Chapter 24

I went back to the common room to find it nearly full, as it was Sunday and all the Gryffindors were lounging and hanging out. I nearly jumped as I saw them all. Every eye in the room turned to look at me, and I had never felt so self-conscious in my entire life. Hermione was right; news did travel fast here. I looked around the room to see so many faces I loved: the Patil twins, Ginny, Neville, Seamus, Timmy... All these people meant so much to me, and as dreadful as the past couple of days had been, I was truly happy to see them all.

As I stood there, staring at them in silence, I realized the awkwardness would never end unless I said something to all of them.

"Erm.... Hi," I said in a quiet, unsure voice. I was not really a fantastic public speaker, given that I had always been a bit shy and awkward in crowds. "Listen, I know that you have all probably heard what's happened. You probably know that my sister, Cassady, was taken by you-know-who, and that Harry and I went to the Ministry to save her. You also probably know that my dad was killed."

I could feel my cheeks heat up as I prepared to tell the truth, but I kept my voice as loud and strong as I could. "What you might not know was that he was murdered, by Bellatrix LeStrange. He had been held hostage by Death Eaters, and then he was murdered, right in front of me. And there was nothing I could do to save him."

For the first time since it happened, I felt sadness. I had already felt anger and rage and exhaustion and disbelief and worry, but as the words came out, I felt sad. A lump formed in my throat, but I did everything I could to force it back down. "I tell you all of this because, I don't want him to have died in vain. Voldemort is back. He has control over the Ministry, and it's not going to be an easy fight. And I don't really know where I fit into all of that but, you all deserve to know." I paused, the lump feeling tighter in my throat. But I wasn't finished. "My dad was a Gryffindor. He loved this house and he believed in not just me, but in all of you. He knew that there was always good in the world, even when it seemed like evil was all around him. He would want us to carry the torch, as best we can. He would want us to be brave."

The tears that were building threatened to come flooding out, but I held my ground. Everyone looked at me, shocked, as they took in what I had just said. I had never been confident or a leader. I had always been a follower, one of the quiet ones who stayed in the background and just tried to help. But standing there in front of everyone, I felt like maybe I had grown. I felt more like Dad.

Hermione, brushing tears from her cheeks, stood and took a few steps toward me. Without saying a word, she raised her wand, a soft white light appearing from the tip. I looked up to see that the ceiling above her was sparkling with light. Harry and Ron stood, and did the same. Before I knew it, every Gryffindor had their wands pointed up at the sky, the ceiling completely covered. I was transfixed by the sight; it was so, so beautiful, as if we were looking up into the heavens.

...

For the rest of the day, much to my disbelief, I wanted to study. Hermione nearly fell over when I told her. Since the year began, I had been so worried about my dad and my sister, not to mention my trip to insanity with Malfoy, that school had fallen by the wayside. My OWL scores were good, and I knew that my professors were disappointed deep down by my performance this year, even though they understood why I was so unfocused. I told Hermione I wanted to go to the library, and of course, she was happy to oblige. Harry and Ron decided to stay behind, so she and I went and sat at her favorite table by the window. Outside, it snowed softly.

I laid out my textbooks and read. And read. And read. I think I consumed myself in my studies just to feel normal again. For just one moment, I wanted to relax, and this was my way of quieting my mind down. Dad would have wanted me to study hard.