Transfixed: A Draco Malfoy Fanfiction

Chapter 32

Long story short, the Order didn't know what to do with me. I wasn't ready to be trained as an Auror, and there was really no reason for me to go back to Hogwarts, so the truth was, I was useless for the time being. Lupin ended up saying something along the lines of, "well, thank you for your honesty Audrey. That must have been very difficult to say. However, I think it's safe to say that no decisions need to be made at this moment, so how about we adjourn and get ready to prepare for a marvelous wedding?"

And just like that, we were done. Everyone got up from the table and went to their respective rooms to get ready. Bill and Fleur were getting married that day, and it was the one thing we all had to look forward to.

Avoiding eye contact with my friends, I got up and began to walk to the staircase when Lupin approached me.

"Audrey, do you mind if we talk privately outside for a moment?"

"Sure," I replied as we walked towards the front door. By that point, I was so worn out from my confession that I didn't have any energy left to be nervous.

We walked to the edge of the front porch and took a seat on the stoop, looking out at the cornfield as the morning sun shone in the sky.

"That must have been hard," Lupin said softly. "To share those feelings with everyone, including your friends."

I ruffled my hands through my hair, keeping my gaze straight ahead. I really hoped this wasn't still a test. "Yes, it was," I said shortly.

"It's alright, you're not on trial," Lupin said gently. "I know how it feels to have a darkness inside of you that you wished wasn't there."

I mentally kicked myself for forgetting. Of course he knew how it felt, given his condition as a werewolf. "Yes, of course. I'm sorry, Professor."

"You have nothing to be sorry for. The truth is that everyone feels the way you do at some point. You train, you become powerful, and ultimately you have to decide what your power is best suited for."

"Honestly, Professor, I don't know what I'm suited for. I want to fight, but Harry, Ron and Hermione don't need me. And even if they did, I don't know if they'll want anything to do with me now..." My voice wandered off as I thought about my friends shunning me. I knew that my relationship with Draco caused nothing but trouble, and I guess in a way, I did betray them.

"They'll come around, Audrey. They've all made mistakes."

"I guess," I mumbled, still feeling unsure.

Lupin turned to face me. "Well, the truth is that I'm very impressed with how honest you were in there. I think it's obvious that the Order wanted you to prove yourself over the past couple days, and I think you have done so. I also think that what you've confessed to us this morning can be put to great use."

I looked at him in surprise. "But I thought you said we weren't going to make any decisions today?"

"Ah yes, I did say that. However, I have an idea that is incredibly risky and would need to be kept completely secret. Can you promise me that you won't reveal what I'm about to tell you?"

I nodded vigorously. "Yes," I answered.

Lupin looked around to make sure no one was around to hear him. "Audrey, what I'm going to tell you is only known by myself and Dumbledore when he was alive. Now, as you already know, Dumbledore was killed by Snape, who then established himself as a devoted Death Eater. Yes?"

"Yes, I saw it happen myself."

"Well, the truth is, Snape is still a member of the Order, perhaps our most important member of all."