Newsies One Shots and Preferences

Stranded

Word Count: 1196

One of my biggest character flaws is my fear of heights, it holds me back from so many things. For instance, rollercoasters, Ferris wheels, and amusement parks in general. However, today I am not at an amusement park, I am not even out of the house. I am currently studying with Racetrack but, we are avoiding studying like it is the plague. At the moment Race and I are in an extremely competitive staring contest where the winner gets nothing. It is just an excuse to not get any work done, and who could blame us? History is boring that anything sounds better.

Productivity has been thrown out the window and it is not going to make a guest appearance either, today is strictly a no workday. Even though it has been in my calendar for weeks as a study day. It is going to be a miracle if I finish this oh so important project. I mean how long does it take to reword a Quizlet? Hopefully not long as I can tell I am going to be waiting until the last minute.

Eventually, Race and I make our way outside into the calm, spring, air. The breeze is welcomed and it makes me feel at ease. After we reach our spot on the swing in my backyard it is a full-on conversation. It is one of those conversations where you cannot pinpoint where you are going or figure out where you started. All I know is that it ended with Race getting the ladder out of the shed. I cannot tell if I am completely out of my mind or I really do not want to be doing my History project, but either way, I can tell I am going to hate every second of it.

I am going on my roof, not for long, just long enough to realize that it is not as bad as it seems. However, I know it is going to be ten times worse than it seems. It is like when you think you are not scared of spiders but then you see one and you are reminded of the terror they bring you. On the outside, I am not calm and collected but I am only showing a fraction of what is happening inside my head. My brain is like the one time I dropped my math binder and all of the loose pages fell out completely messing up the order. I am terrified, I can hardly move. 

Race makes his way over to a concrete patch and leans the tall ladder against the house. The ladder hits the roof with a few inches to spare. This is it, I am facing my fear, I am going to climb that ladder and I will no longer be afraid of heights. Deep down I know I am lying to myself but, it is the only way I will be able to get myself on the roof. That being said this whole situation is stupid. Race holds the bottom of the ladder signaling for me to make the first step. My sneaker touches the steel step lightly at first but I eventually bring my whole body weight down on it as I add my other foot. I already hate it, however, I still prevail. One step at a time I can feel myself start to lose it, even more, I can feel my sense of reality slip with each step. Each step as a new scenario: what if the ladder breaks? What if it falls over? What if I slip? I try to push these thoughts down but they keep coming up, but I prevail. 

Each step creates a more vivid scenario but, I am determined to make it to the top. It is only a step away, one more step I have nowhere else to go but down. How I miss the ground and how it is stable and the fall from the ground is less intimidating. Unfortunately, Race had another idea, he wants me to step on the roof and lookout. He is crazy and wants me to suffer but I still agree. Another character flaw is that I cannot say no to Race, no matter how hard I try, no matter how much better it would be if I said no. Once I am on the roof I see the ladder leave its spot, I am stranded. I cannot even muster up the courage to yell at Race I just break down in tears not wanting to open my eyes. I am a three-year-old who lost their mom in a grocery store and does not know what to do, so I cry. I hear Race say something but I am too tangled in my own thoughts to understand it. 

All noise ceases to exist as I am brought to a dark place, a place where I am alone and on a pedestal just waiting to tip over. This leads me to sit down as I bring my legs to my chest making myself smaller. I want to go down yet I cannot even talk, let alone move. Tears keep falling down my cheek and all I can think about is a small girl sitting on an unsteady pole, so far up you cannot tell which way is down. As I become more stranded in my thoughts I feel another person's presence as they wrap their arm around me. The feeling eventually brings me out of my thoughts, bringing me back to the real world. Reminding me I am not alone. After what feels like an eternity I am finally fully aware of the world around me I can hear Race. I can feel him cradle me rocking me back and forth. He keeps saying, "I'm sorry" and "You will be okay, I'll get you down". His words are almost as calming as his fingers untangling the knots in my hair. Even though I am semi back to reality I still cry. Not about the heights anymore, rather to just cry.

Sometimes I just hold everything in that I forget to let some things out. 

At some point, I open my eyes to stare into Race's. The same eyes I looked at in the staring contest have become bloodshot as if he had been crying too. Like earlier I stare at him as he does to me, except this time it is not a contest. More of a signal to show the other that we are here. It feels as if we are the only people in the world and our situation slips. I forget about the rooftop, it is just Race and me alone together. However this time I feel calm, like the Spring breeze from earlier. 

It is just me in Race's arm, cradling me and twirling his fingers through my slightly combed hair. It is perfect, I could not imagine anywhere else I would rather be, even though the ground would be preferred. I cannot help but feel safe in his arms like nothing can hurt, like I am on the ground. If I have to be stranded I would not want to be stranded with anybody else.