I get out of the pool and dry off. I check my IPlant8 to see the time. Holy tity-sprinkles It's been almost four hours! I was really here for three and a half hours? Damn.
After I got fully dried off and and put a t-shirt on I left the swimming facility. It was closing anyway though, even though I wasted twenty dollars today just to talk to some bitches. I got to get to work in half an hour so I have to go home and change again.
*RING RING* My phone buzzes in my pocket furiously wanting me to open it and look at the call. It wasn't anybody I'm related to, so I answer it.
Me: Hello?
Richard: Yo Jake, wanna take a few shots with me?
Fuck, I'm going to miss the drinking session? *Sigh* Listen up children! Don't get a job, they suck small cock for real.
Me: Nah man, I'm at the pool right now, and after this I'm going to Pizza Slut to work for the afternoon to the evening like usual.
Richard: Whatever. I'll just pick up a chick without you.
I laugh. Does this fucker really think his fucking self could pick up a date? Yeah right.
Me: Bitch, your ass couldn't even get the ugliest, nastiest bitch there.
Richard: Bet! Imma come home with a fine ass ho, just you wait!
This motherfucker really think he finna pick up a chick tonight, ha!
Me: Funny story! Now I gotta go, catch you later man.
I hang up and then open up my car. I drive back to the apartment.
As I finished parking, I get out of my car and notice a fine ass peashooter walk by. She has the Pizza Slut uniform on, does she work here? I've never seen her before. I'll have to ask Dan, my manager. I walk in the back and try to find Dan.
Me: Yo Conner, have you seen Dan lately?
Conner the bloomerang: Nah, he didn't come to work today. He's having car issues, he'll be back tomorrow
Me: Fuck. Well I guess I'll ask you then
Conner: Ask me what? It better not be about how tiny your dick is!
Conner does the ugliest laugh you've ever heard. Now the thing was, nobody really like Conner that much. Not at all actually. The reason is because, well because he's kind of an asshole. There's no better way of putting it, he's just a dick.
Me: Go fuck yourself with your big ass nose
He instantly stops laughing.
Conner: My big ass nose? My nose is fucking hot, your the one who should check your nose
Me: Bitch! Your nose is the size of a fucking jet's wing! The fuck you talking about
Conner: Whatever you gay faggot
Me: Hey, there ain't nothing wrong with being gay, I'm not personally gay but it's alright if somebody is so
Conner: That's gay
Me: *Sigh*
I walk to the kitchen and see Fred doing dishes. Since Dan isn't here, I ask him instead.
Me: Hey Fred, who's that Ice Peashooter? I've never seen her here before.
Fred the Scaredy-Shroom: Oh Jenny? She just joined the crew today, Dan already wanted her in since they're cousins I think, and she finally accepted.
Me: Jenny. Yeah I'm definitely gonna tap that. Wait, is she single?
Fred: What do I look like, A detective? I have no damn idea. Ask her next time you see her
Me: Alright thanks man
I walk away and wait for a delivery. Everytime I see her, I don't have enough time to strike a good conversation. I don't want to just say hi to each other and then leave to go deliver pizza, so I'll wait until after work to talk to her.
YOU ARE READING
Cold Blooded - Plants Vs Zombies Mature Fanfiction #2
Hayran KurguJake is a 21 year old Chomper that just wants his own baby mama. Jake is the most baller plant out there, playing his Plantstation all day before and after going to work. He dropped out of highschool and is now living with his roommate Richard, a Hy...
