Sunshine {JHS x BTS}

VI

Hoseok knew it probably wasn't a good idea going out without a mask or even a coat, especially since he was now one of the most hated people in South Korea. But then again, it was better than listen to his hyungs and dongsaengs fight over him and doubt him.

He had his head hung low, praying that no one would recognise him, that he could get somewhere secluded without the stress of being caught, but luck wasn't on his side as only moments after he made his way into one of the busiest streets in Seoul, he was called out.

"Yah! Druggie, go back to your meth lab!" he heard a female girl call out. He sighed and shook his head, feeling spikes of anxiety prick at his spine.

"Yah! Don't ignore me! You're nothing anymore!" the same girl yelled and he tried his best to ignore her, but he couldn't help but look up.

The girl was young, maybe around 16 or 17, she had long, black hair with matching dark orbs that sparkled with disgust. But the ine thing that caught his eye the most was the BTS hoodie she was wearing, reading 'Jungkook 97' at the front.

His dear fans, his dear ARMY had even turned against him, they saw him as a disgraceful drug addict, a reckless party-goer. He really had never felt so alone.

"You're nothing but a disgrace to your band, to your music, to your country!! If Bangtan fall, it's gonna be your fault," the girl spat, eyes dark as she turned and walked away.

On the back of her hoodie was the members names... all except one which he could see was scribbled out with a black marker. J-Hope.

Hoseok felt like collapsing, suddenly feeling so weak as he clutched his heart, feeling it break into nothing but shards that could never be put back together.

Never in his life had he ever felt so alone, so hated, so disgraceful and disgusting, and he prayed that no one else ever would.

He stumbled across the city, trying and failing to ignore the piercing glares of the people he passed by, holding back the tears that threatened to fall even more when he heard the insults.

'Druggie'

'Disgrace'

'Disgusting junkie'

'Scum'

'Disgusting'

'Freak'

'Fucking stoner'

Hoseok held his head, trying to control the way his heart raced, the way his chest tightened as he frantically tugged at his locks, silently begging for the demons to shut up.

'See that? No one would love you enough to believe you. You're no one's sunshine, no one's happiness, you're nothing, you've never been anything to anyone. Look how much of a fucking failure you are, look how much everyone hates you. You disgusting gay freak'

Hoseok's breath quickened, eyes full to the brim with burning tears as his legs moved on their own, not having a clue where he was going.

He shivered as he was attacked through his thin black shirt by a strong gust of wind. He bit his lip as he criticised his weakness.

He sighed as he felt a drop of rain land on his head. Then another, followed by another, followed by a thousand tiny raindrops soaking him.

But he still refused to go back to that dorm.

He found himself strolling somewhere unfamiliar, trees standing like soldiers as he stumbled across the muddy ground, feeling the rain soak through his black shirt, shivering as he held himself close to maintain any warmth he had.

But he just felt cold, inside and out.

He usually was scared of forests, even those small ones in parks, but this time he couldn't even muster an ounce of fear. Not for the forest anyway.

Hoseok found himself deep, endless miles of trees wherever he looked and he felt small, trapped, inferior and the sudden thrum of roaring thunder made his weak knees collapse.

The frail man found himself curled up beside a tree, shaking, sobbing, whimpering, begging as endless drops of rain fell from the sky.

"I-I'm sorry!" he cried out brokenly, voice cracking into a sob. "I-I'm sorry, ARMY, f-for being... for b-being such a d-disgrace! F-for being such a-a failure..."

He didn't bother to wipe the tears that were mirroring the rain falling from the darkened sky. "I-I'm sorry B-Bantan...f-for being the one t-to bring y-you down... I'm sorry Y-Yoongi f-for being such a w-waste of your time... I'm s-sorry Eomma a-and Appa... I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

Hoseok mumbled to himself like a mantra, jumping at every clash of thunder, hands tugging harshly at his black locks that were being drenched by the heavy rain.

He just wished it would end...