Sunshine {JHS x BTS}

XIV

Next chapter is the final chapter :)

TW: suicidal thoughts & mentions
panic/anxiety attacks

Jungkook felt his heart stop, his stomach drop and his mind freeze.

Gone. 

He was gone.

Hoseok, his dear hyung, he was dead.

"No... no, he can't be! You-you're lying! You're lying, I know you are! No! No, no! He's not dead! Not dead... no, no, no!" 

The maknae dropped to his knees in an endless fit of sobs, tattooed fist colliding repeatedly with the hospital floor. "No! He can't be dead, he can't be dead, I need him! I love him! Please, please, you have to do something! Bring him back! Do something!" the poor, distraught boy gripped onto the nurse's skirt, looking up at the sympathetic woman with pleading eyes.

"I'm sorry, they tried everything they could-"
"The paramedics! They said- they said he would live! That he didn't take enough! Please there has to be something! He can't be dead... please don't let him be dead... I-I can't be without him..." 

"It appeared that way at first, but when he was on the table, they began losing him. They're still with him now, trying defibrillation in an attempt to let him live but... I'm sorry, their luck seems to be running low on this one. I'm truly sorry,"

A broken noise escaped Jungkook's mouth, falling weakly onto the floor as he cradled himself, running a hand through his hair just like his dear Hobi hyung used to. He wanted him there, wanted to be held by him, wanted to feel safe.

Was this his fault? He had just watched his hyungs turn their back on the man, watched as their fans spat insults and betrayal at him. He hadn't done anything to prevent this and he knew that he could've, but he was too busy fanboying over Kim Taehyung to give two shits. 

"It should've been me!" he cried out, weeping helplessly on the cold, marble floor. "It should've been me to die! He didn't deserve this! He didn't! Why..? Why, God, why not me..? Hoseokie hyungie... he didn't deserve it..."

The nurse sighed sorrowfully as she looked down at him. She knew there was nothing she could do to help him, she couldn't even begin to understand the heartbreak he was going through.

"Please... let me go with him... let me be with my hyung, please! Please! I don't wanna be alone... I don't want him to be alone... I want him, I want my Hobi hyungie... please, please! I want to be with him! Let me go with him! Please... it hurts so much..." 

Jungkook couldn't breathe, the maknae was clawing at his throat desperately but all that escaped him was cries and screams for his dear hyung. The only thing on his mind was how he wanted him, wanted to be with him out of the wretched world that killed him.

By now, he had found himself surrounded by security, a few cameras and his mind short-circuited, his body shaking like an earthquake as he squeezed his throat, cutting off his own airways.

His mind was blank, nothing else mattered to him at that point.

Security was frantically trying to detach his hand, only for the poor boy to scramble away from them, looking at them in pure terror.

"Hyungie..." he spoke, his world spinning and fading before disappearing entirely. 

~~~

Jimin held onto Taehyung's hand tightly as they watched the video circulating throughout Twitter once they woke up.