Till Life Do Us Part (A Zauren Love Story)

Part Sixty-Two: Tears of the Sky

Zayn's POV:

Pain, that's the only thing my body could register now. A tearing pain, an endless pain, a searing pain, a killing pain that nobody can endure. My fingers were curled strongly around the steering wheel like claws as I tried to control my anger. My inside was burning as crazy thoughts ran through my mind; I thought about driving into a calm place, an empty place, a place where no human beings can be found. I urged to be alone, surrounded only by my thoughts and  the pain; surrounded by what I deserve. I even thought about driving into a wall, crashing the car on a solid object, hurting myself and feeling my mental pain turning into a physical one. The physical pain would be better; less painful, less tormented. The traffic light turned red, increasing the amount of anger I was feeling.

"Relax, it's just a traffic light." Louis's voice spoke next to me after I slammed the steering wheel in exasperation. I only nodded and gave him a forced small smile.

Louis, the reason that prevents me from implementing my thoughts. He asked me to drive him home in my car when he sensed that I wasn't okay when we were in the studio recording our new song. Not only him, everyone noticed that I wasn't okay. They were all looking at me in worry and kept asking me questions that made me more annoyed. They're worried at me I know, but I just can't share my feelings with anyone. The only one who knows what's bothering me is Liam, who refused even to greet me when he saw me and kept sending me glares all the time. I told them that I broke up with Perrie and now they think that the reason behind my depression is her. That's better to be honest, it's much better to impute my status to my break up with my girlfriend.

I wanted to leave, I wanted to get out and leave them to record the song alone. I even admitted this to Simon, saying that I'm not okay and I want to come back home.

"C'mon Zayn, it's just one song. You can rest when we finish." He patted on my shoulder and went back to talking to Harry about his part in the song. I rolled my eyes and got out from the room, sneaking to the back of the building we were in and smoking a cigarette in the cold weather

After I took the last drag of my cigarette I flicked it on the floor and smashed it with my foot.  I went back to the studio and Simon called on me after I got in, telling me it was my turn. I walked to the recording booth and put the headphones over my ears. The boys stood behind Simon to watch me, their looks filled with worry and sympathy except for Liam's eyes, which were filled with rage. Simon sat next to the record guy and gave me a thump up in a sign to start. I breathed deeply before opening my mouth and starting to sing.

"Now I'm searching-" Simon called on me to stop after I uttered the first words of my part. "Clear your throat and start again, Zayn. Your voice sounds so harsh." He spoke to me through the mic and I nodded, doing as he did and starting again.

"Now I'm searching every-" This time I knew I messed up without hearing Simon's voice; I sounded awful. My voice cracked after I sang the first words and I started coughing. I looked at Simon through the window and he gave me a questioning look.

"I'm sorry, I'm just a bit tired." I apologized and cleared my throat again before I went back to singing.

"Now I'm searching every lonely place-"

"That's not gonna work." Simon's sharp voice interrupted me, "Zayn, my son, listen to me…" he started speaking and I sighed in annoyance, knowing that I'm gonna hear a rebuke from him. Nothing good comes from Simon after he uses this tone of voice, especially when he uses the word "son". He always ends up scolding and shouting, complaining from our "carelessness and neglect in doing our job" as he describes it

I let out a deep breath and prepared myself for the scolding I'm gonna get but before anything happens Louis came and whispered something in Simon's ear that made him stop talking. He turned to Louis and they started talking. I watched the conversation that was happening between them through the window, unable to hear or understand what they were talking about. The only thing I could see was their face expressions, Simon's angry looks turned into a shocked ones and his mouth dropped in shock. He glanced at me then went back to looking at Louis as he talked and talked. The last thing I saw was Simon nodding and then leaving the room.