BURN "28 Flames" Book One

The Knowing(6)

Now that I had found out who he was we began to see more of each other when he was in town. He still came through my window and watched me sleep some nights. He also told me the real reason he came to my house that night I went with Suzy. It was because I was going somewhere men were and he didn't want me to find someone else since I was mad at him for putting me through that shit. But it wasn't all his fault since I did allow it to happen he took me to this dinner that was in the art museum. They played the cello and there was fruit and wine but I knew he wasn't sober not one bit. That night he left to finish out his tour. I was now sick with the flu and couldn't really get any of my work done. I still hadn't told Suzy about him even though I knew who he was I felt this between us should stay exactly where it is.

My body ached all over and my nose was congested my body was shivering but I was so hot. I layed on the chaise with a blanket wrapped around me with wool leggings and socks on. I made soup and tea but my apetite was absent. My snores soon filled the quiet dark room as the world outside moved about.

He sat watching me staring at my sihlouette in the dark as my chest heaved up and down and mouth gapped open as I struggled to breath. All he did was call and text but to no response from his sickly beauty that laid slumped in her illness. Her suffering made him think about his own suffering that lasted longer than a few days but had been present all of his 24 years of being. He sat next to her listening to hear breath and taking in her scent of cough drops and vapor rub with a hint of lemon from the cold cup of tea that sat on the coffee table. Her beautiful lips still the natural pink and her eyes sunken from her malnourished sickness made him smile lightly in sadness as he watched her struggle with breathing. Her body fully covered and her body still shivering underneath the covers made him crawl slowly and gently behind her to wrap her in his arms and warm her body up. The sweat beads that formed on her forehead suggested that her fever was breaking. He kissed her lightly on the ear causing her to turn over as she buried her head into his chest inhaling his scent that was absent to her senses. Snuggled under one another she continued to sleep as her body could only do since she could barely keep her eyes open.

The thunder hit through the sky as a bolt of lightening shot through the morning sky causing me to jump out of my sweaty sleep. I sat up on the couch alone and soaked but my body felt better and my stomach felt quesy from hunger. The odor that invaded my nostrils made me get up for a shower. I threw my clothes off and my blanket into the dirty clothes hamper to be washed since all my germs lingered inside the threads. My body was submerged under the water but my legs felt weak from the lack of food and energy. After taking a shower I wrapped my wet hair in a bath towel and put on my silk bath robe. I grabbed the can of uncooked oatmeal out the cabinet and fruit out the fridge. The water in the kettle boiled as I sat looking out the window at a blury fog of car lights and street lights. I knew he had came last night I saw the flash on my phone indicating I had either a missed call or message but I knew it was both. The volume on the phone was turned down yesterday after I talked to a client. I didn't want any calls interrupting me while I tried to doctor myself up and get some rest.

He left before the sun even came up which was still a normal thing for him to do. Regardless if I knew him he still was a big mystery to me. Sure I got to see his features in the dark but when we went out for dinner in the art museum I had on a masquerade mask and he had on one that only showed his eyes. I felt like he was still trying to hide from me for what reason I was clueless to. He said he wanted me to see him to really see the person he was but all I got was a mask and a night view that wasn't really much of anything. The kettle whistled taking me out my day dream about this distinct man that still haunted my nights and satisfied my pleaures. I turned to finish perparing my breakfast and soon scrub down my chaise with disinfectant before heading down to the basement laundry.

I threw on some jogging pants and a old Seahawk tshirt and a hat with my black boots. I sat while the washer cleaned my cloths and looked over my accounts to see what needed to be managed in each clients portfolio. I checked my emails and looked on Twitter to see what was going on. Nothing seemed to interest me so I sat my phone down and stood to stretch my legs and arms. I hated waiting on laundry but I couldn't just leave my clothes unattended I made that mistake once before and one of the other tenets rummaged through my things. I blew out a sigh of boredom as I walked around in circles thinking of nothing in particular.

Finally after folding up my clothes I headed back up to my apartment to find Suzy sitting at my doorstep with wet eyes. I gave a half smile and unlocked the door for her to come in and tell me all about what was going on. She sat on the edge of my platform bed sobbing and sniffing as I put away my clothes. I just waited on her to finish with her dispair to hear why she was bawling her eyes out and over who.

See Suzy always fell in love with the wrong guys. Yeah wrong guys the ones who only want to hook up and have fun with life. But she on the other hand a hopeless romantic who loved everything there was about love only love didn't love anything about Suzy or the men she chose. Her father spoiled her with all the finer things in life and her mother sheltered her from the real world and gave her this dream that everyone in the world wanted to be in love and live happily ever after. I was sad for her even after I tried to tell her that she was young and beautiful and love could wait just let it find you but nope my words and advice found its way in her mental garbage can.

"How do I keep finding these losers? she asked taking me out of my jumble of thoughts. Trying to figure out whether to answer her or just let her vent her anger and frustration. "I thought we felt the same way about each other but to stand me up then send a message saying you need your space. What type of person does that to someone? I hate men all of them they seem to want to break you down and leave you crazy and fumming over them." she said wiping away her tears as anger took over and pitty fell to the background of her emotions. I sat listening for the millionth time over the years of our friendship. Don't get me wrong I was very empathetic to her feelings but she always seemed to get herself caught up in these guys and then left to her misery of losing them. And I the best friend offered my shoulder to cry on and my ears to listen to her self induced heartbreak. I rubbed her back to sooth her emotions and give her my affection of a friend and the impression that I understood. In reality I had only loved one and he was buried in my past never to be thought of or mentioned again in this lifetime. She laid her head on my shoulder and I laid my head on her head as we sat in silence until sleep consumed both of our exhausted minds.

I woke up and Suzy was still asleep in a fetal position on the other side of my bed. I went to get a glass of wine and my phone. "Stop." he said catching me off guard as terror took over my next move. I hadn't noticed he was there like any of the other times. I turned my head just enough to see if Suzy was still asleep and to my surprise she was. He sat at the window staring out at the drizzling rain his reflection faded within the foggy window as the dim light from outside shinned in on his face. I quietly closed the doors to my room and walked over to get a glass of water. He never turned his body to me just steadily gazed out the window as if something out there held his attention. "Your friend is very beautiful. I seen you two snuggled up sleeping peaceful. I was about to leave." he said still facing the window. "Yea well she had a long day and I've had a bored one. So we fell asleep. I wasn't expecting you to show up tonight since you came by last night while I slept." I said while pouring a glass of bottled water. "You didn't answer your phone yesterday or today. I wanted to make sure you were ok. But I see that you were occupied with company tonight." I sat with the glass on the counter just gazing into it as the ripples of water flowed. I looked up and he was gone not a sound of the door or the window just me left to the quiet room and my glass of water. After drinking it I sat the glass in the sink and leaned my back against the counter wondering why I was doing this with him. I sort of felt like Suzy but only thing was I didn't choose him he chose me. Although I felt something for him I still wouldn't accept that it could be love or anything of that magnitude. Just the thought of The Knowing was enough to convince me that it wasn't nothing close to love.