Andrew Siwicki Imagines

Dear Andrew - 25

Written on June 23rd, 2020.

*y/n's writing*

Hi, Andrew.
I know. Weird getting a letter as opposed to a text or phone call, and I'm sorry. But I thought that as a final 'goodbye', I would write you a letter; as you know, this hasn't been the easiest for me to handle at all, let alone your parents, family, Shane, Ryland, Morgan or Garrett. In fact, the five of us got together yesterday to hang out. Not much of that going on, but we tried.

I'm sorry that I wasn't with you that day. I regret it so much. I wasn't with you at your most venerable moment. And I'm so sorry. I put my job and career in front of you as opposed to you in front of my career and job, that's something that I've always regretted. I know I'm not supposed to be 'regretting' anything, but it's extremely hard not to, especially since I wasn't with you this time. My job as your girlfriend was supposed to be to be there for you at all times. Whether it was via FaceTime, texts, phone calls, or sitting there beside you. I was always supposed to be there. And I wasn't. That is, and will forever be, my biggest regret.

You know how much I love you. And will always love you. There's no denying it. And there's absolutely no way that I could ever not. Even if I find someone else. You always will be my rock Andrew. My best friend. My love. My prince. And my soulmate. You'll always be that to me. No matter how much time passes. No matter how many people come in and out of my life. Whether they're my lover or not. You're always going to be my rock. Forever.

I know I shouldn't blame myself for this. We got into a stupid fight. That's been happening recently. And unfortunately it caused you to leave. I'm sorry for being like that. I know I was wrong. I was just too stubborn to admit it, as always. I know I said some stuff that I didn't mean. I could and would never hate you. I will never hate you. Like I've told you and everyone around me a million times, I love you. With my entire heart, body and being. You know that. I know that. I know I was never the easiest to deal with. My mental health was fucked. Almost as much as I was. But you helped me. More than you'll ever know. Thank you. Thank you for being my person for the last two years. Thank you for believing in me when I didn't believe in myself. Thank you for your endless support. Thank you for lending me all of your clothes. Thank you for being my best friend. I don't know what I would do without you.

As this has to come to and end. And trust me. I don't want it to. But I don't want to make myself more sad than I already am. So I'm going to write this and go stay with Shane and Ry for a while. As I said before. I love you. You're happier now.

xoxo, y/n.

*y/n's pov*
I finished reading the letter and placed it, along with three lilies, on the grave that read, "Andrew Siwicki,
friend of all, passed too soon.
August, 7th, 1992 - January 7th, 2019."

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Wow. I'm sorry this was sad. The idea kind of popped into my head when I was thinking about the 'letter' portion of this. Anyways. Love you guys. <3

*572 words*