The Ex Wife

chapter thirty nine: the truth is ugly

new: henry cavill portrayed as cameron king

LINDY

Nathan was back home and it was so nice to reunite - the air was cleared and things returned to a sort of normality. Well, as for our relationship and the tensions. The actual situation we're living in right now? Nothing normal about it.

Which is why "normal" has been the motto around here. Cameron is processing his trauma in his own way; totally acceptable, but everyone has been doing their best to treat him the way they usually would, but not to an extent that could trigger him. Today, I dragged him to the supermarket with me, so he could also pick out any foods he wanted. To be honest, I was very capable of doing that myself; I do remember what he does and does not like, in terms of food and drink, but i just wanted him to come outside for a bit.

We had done that just now, and it was a pretty successful trip. But there is nothing too complicated about the weekly food shop.

Now, we were picking up Logan from school. We waited in the car park, and there was still ten minutes till he would be coming out.

"So you're not gonna ask me how I'm feeling today," Cameron stated, staring out of the passenger window.

I found my eyebrows raising themselves. "Am I meant to?"

It's all i would like to ask, really. I just have to know you're okay, but I cant continuously ask that with the kind of pressure it weighs.

"Since I've been with you guys, it was your primary question. But you haven't been on it lately." He said, now looking at me with an all-knowing smile.

I nodded, "I just don't wanna dwell on everything when i ask you."

"Yeah. I see that," He sighs. "I'm alright though. I'm... coping."

"Coping well?"

He inhales, "Permission to open up?"

"Speak freely." I respond.

"That woman has fucked me to the core. But it's in the past, I guess, and the only thing I can do now is move on. And that happens to be the hardest thing. I'm still scared - i ask myself, how am i gonna be able to work up the courage to date someone again? Because right now, the thought of dating anyone terrifies me. I've been in two relationships since you in the last decade, and all I have dealt with is shit. I can only accept being a lone wolf for now, but i am constantly asking myself that question and how I will be able to answer it in the near future. I've been pretty unlucky, to be fair. The truth is so ugly. The hard facts; it's just ugly. I wish that I could just undo it all." He spoke, with a distraught expression. I feel awful, and so guilty.

"You are worth so much more. You deserve so much more. I know that you don't see it right now, but the grass is greener on the other side. You're not quite there yet, and that's okay, but you're moving on at your own pace." I tell him.

He takes in my words, and stares at his feet while slowly nodding. Then, exasperatedly sighed, "I think I'm gonna be alone for the rest of my life," He joked.

"You are not alone and you know it," I lecture,

"Romantically, i mean."

I knew what he meant. I just didn't know what else to say. So I just shook my head at him.

"Shouldn't have left you, wouldn't be in this situation, would I?" He said again, jokingly, and laughed. "But here I am, two abusive relationships and one false domestic violence charge later,"

I gulped, and suddenly we both burst out into laughter.

"God, what is this life," Cameron giggled.

"So fucked up. So fucked." I said, before the passenger car door swung open.