The Ex Wife

chapter forty three: secrets

CAMERON

It's been two weeks and I'm overwhelmed with defeat. Once again, I was foolish to believe I even had a chance.

It's time to actually admit this - I love my ex-wife.

After much consideration, I made the difficult decision to move back home a few days ago. The decision was not an easy one, as I had been staying at her house for a while, spending time with our son. But as the days went by, I began to feel more and more like an intruder in her home, and I knew that it was time to make a change.

At first, the idea of leaving felt daunting. I had become used to seeing my son every day, and the thought of being apart from him was painful. But as I settled back into my own home, I found that there were rewards in making light out of a dark experience. I did feel safe and comfortable, and I was grateful for the sense of normality that being back in my own space provided. I do still have security based inside and out of my home, just for that reassurance. Baby steps.

It still sucks to imagine what could have been. But my ex-wife and mother of my child is remarried. She's happy. And she's planning on having a new baby. I need to learn to accept reality and really move on.

So yes, moving back home was the first step in that process, but it is only the beginning.

I am aware that I no longer fit in there. My rightful place is at my home. Sigh.

It becomes a little tedious after time, all these feelings I have about and for Lindy. It's been repetitive ever since we reunited. It stops now.

Well, after I get the rest of my belongings. I returned to her house to pick up everything, as I kind of just went home and left my essentials. It's Saturday, so Logan is home with just me until Lindy gets back. I told her I'd stay with him while she does her business. Anna's foster daughter, Kerrigan, was also here on a play date, so her and Logan were outside playing dodgeball - his new favourite game. And Nate? I'm not so sure of his whereabouts.

Madison randomly turned up, as Ellie was invited too. The kids all went outside and she came and sat with me.

"Hey! It's been a while!" She beamed, and I stood up to hug her. "Missed you."

"Likewise, Maddie. I miss everyone loads. We'll have to plan something, won't we,"

"Oh yes, we will. I'm sure the next time we'll all be together soon is Anna's spring party!"

I forgot about that. "You're right! Isn't that in a few days?"

"Wednesday."

"I'm gonna need a new suit, then."

"You've got enough," she chuckled at me, while watching the kids outside through the window.

"Come to the kitchen. We can have some tea before you go," I tell her, and she smiles, following.

I get two mugs out and put the teabags in. Yorkshire Tea, always. As I turn on the boiler tap, she hums.

"Mmmm, I thought you'd moved back home?"

"I have, I just thought I'd chill with Logan today, and Lindy said she needed to do some shopping so I insisted she go herself."

"Oh, that's nice of you."

"It's my job!" I laughed.

"You're also right there," she said, taking the cup of tea I'd made for her and sipping.

The doorbell suddenly goes off, and I raced to answer it. Luca was at the door, and let himself in. "Hello to you too, darling," I laughed.

"Are Nate and Lindy here?" He asked, and I immediately got chills. The vibe was off.