Imperious.

Part VI: Tom

© 2014 XxNotTonightXx.

All Rights Reserved

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Pages: 22 - 26

T O M -

Am I supposed to stay home everyday, all day for the rest of my life?

Does Emilia think that watching her run a pack, with mates in love and kids happy make my day? I refuse to be one of those people who detests happiness - those kind of people who are so miserable and lonely that they try to deprive others of happiness just because they're deprived of happiness themselves.

But in between the so-in-love mates and happy children, I'm taunted every second of every minute of every day until I'm left miserable. It just makes me wonder how Emilia watches over all these people who literally ooze happiness and she's so uptight and cold on the inside.

I mean, I'm so in love with her that I feel wrong even thinking of an insult about her, but I'm being honest. It's like she harbors negative feelings towards me, and not because I did something to her but just because I'm her mate. And then it's like, does she not like having a mate, and if so, then why?

And for the whole "Last night was a mistake" line she pulled earlier today? Yeah, well I'm calling bullshit. If she meant it, she wouldn't have been so uncertain about it. As soon as the sentence left her mouth her face contorted into confusion and doubt. If last night was truly a mistake she would have been firm about it - she would have been in Alpha Emilia mode, but earlier today, she was just Emilia, unsure and not calculating my every move.

No, earlier today, Emilia was without armor. She wasn't prepared to put up her usual disinterested, bland facade of not loving me. I felt her stare this morning, I felt her stare on me for a very long time, and I have heaven to thank for her doing only that. I don't think I would've had it in me to pretend to be asleep if she touched me. Her touch would be too overwhelming, which would make it to hard for me to control myself, especially when I had a point to prove. Now that point has been proven.

She feels the same way I feel about her, but she just doesn't want me to know it. The fact itself that she does indeed love me, well, it drives my egotistical pride all the way.

Now I can stop nagging myself with the old fashioned "She loves me, she loves me not," chanting in my head. There is a mystery that remains, however, and that is why is she so against the idea of loving me?

I must look stupid, but it's baffling how she thinks her fronts and facades would last long. What's her plan? To keep me around just for show and ignore me in private?

If only I know more about her, or know someone here other than Emilia.

Looking around, I huff at the couches and TV, which only yesterday seemed so homey and comforting; now though, it's a bitter reminder of how alone I really am.

When I first came here, I was excited with the modern but homey furniture. I immediately pictured Emilia watching TV, or making a sandwich or simply reading one of the many books in her room. I pictured us being a couple and soon enough a family, but now, the thought that I might be in this big house without anyone to share it with just adds to my loneliness.

The water turns cold and I snap out of my thoughts and hop out the shower before walking into Emilia's room.

After Emilia's speech in the kitchen, I finished eating, came up to the room, fixed the bed and hopped into the shower. But now what am I supposed to do? Repeat yesterday's actions of pretending to watch a movie while actually watching the time to see when Emilia would be home? No thank you.