Imperious.

Part XII: Tom

© 2014 XxNotTonightXx.

All Rights Reserved

Author's Note: Please vote and comment, it'll be very much appreciated. 

  Pages: 47 - 51

T O M -

The pain I'm feeling should be clouding my judgement - why isn't pain clouding my judgement?

I shouldn't be able to think about Emilia or this pack. I should be focused on the throbbing sensation of my newly broken nose and fist or the sore sensation of my back since the skin has just been stitched together but no, that's not my focus.

 Emilia's all I think about twenty-four seven. She's now my downfall and my uprising. Every single action I have made since I've met her, and every action that I will make now that she's in my life will always be connected to her, because she's now what I live for.

Sad isn't it. I'm pathetic: a man who can't control his thoughts or actions because he's in love. No wonder she wasn't here when I woke up.

Nothing is how I thought it would be. I thought that we would be happy and she would give me pups and put me before her pack and be the first thing I see when I wake up from multiple surgeries, but just like everything else, I am utterly wrong.

Emilia is far from happy with me - look at what I've just caused: an uproar in her pack, her pack that she will always put before me. And as for pups, well, I doubt Emilia wants pups with me. I'm a shitty mate, and she deserves better.

But enough about Emilia. Kevin's also on my mind. I just don't get how Halle's behaviour is 'alright' because she's of a certain gender, and because Kevin is of a certain gender, it's not alright for him to defend himself and say no to the verbal and maybe even physical harassment.

 He does his job diligently, he does his job to the best of his damn ability and Halle well, she feeds off of his misery.

Halle is systematically elevated to get away with things and she uses wolves like Kevin, wolves who will do anything to provide for their mate and pups to fill some kind of void; I think for Halle, that void is self-satisfaction.

It's sad, really, but it doesn't make her any less wrong. It doesn't make her behaviour any less atrocious.

She's sexist, and she-wolves with the same mind frame as Halle are sexist, and it isn't right for any of them to get away with putting another person down, - they shouldn't be taught that it's okay to make someone feel like nothing because of gender.

If it's wrong for men to do that to women, then aren't she-wolves sinking to the same level as wolves if they're trying to say this gender is better than the other?

If both genders are so keen to be justified, why shouldn't it be equal for a wolf and a she-wolf? No gender should be above the other gender. In a pack, genders shouldn't determine who's better than another, but rather the person's work ethic and contribution to the pack.

That's fair, that shows maturity and wisdom. For Emilia to not think of this before is surprising.

 But then again, this problem probably wasn't even a known issue. Kevin was so ... confused to choose between Halle and me, and now I understand why. Halle, in a way, represents everything he's been taught.

He's been taught to allow she-wolves like Halle to walk over him and not say anything. He thought for a long time that Halle held all the cards - one wrong move made by him and he'd be out of work, and unable to take care of his kids the way he wants to financially. Many wolves probably think the same thing.