The Winter Wraith (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

Chapter 20 - Hidden Truths

They arrive at midnight exactly, silent save the murmur of tire treads on a cracked asphalt road. Four blocks away from the grotty motel, you and the Winter Soldier climb into the back of the black van. A metal grate separates the driver and passenger seat up front, obscuring your view, though your powers tell you both spaces are occupied.

You take a seat on the carpeted floor of the van, the handhold clinging to the van wall an apparent substitute for a seat belt. The Winter Soldier sits down next to you because opposite you both a myriad of guns and grenades wait packed against the van wall. Hopefully, the van doesn't crash, that would certainly be an explosive experience. You open your mouth to share your thoughts with the Winter Soldier, but the words get stuck in your throat. Pure instinct stops you from speaking, your impulse trumped by your training. You can't talk to the Winter Soldier during or, your stomach drops, after the ride. You will be back in the Hydra compound, subject to their strict rules. You will not be able to talk to the Winter Soldier, joke with him or... do other things. It wasn't exactly forbidden or prohibited, but you knew Hydra didn't like their soldiers forming attachments. After all, they compromise missions.

You catch the Winter Soldier's eye, darkened by the shadows engulfing the boot of the van. You draw in your energy to send him a message telepathically, but the mere thought of dredging up more energy after spending hours healing your gunshot wound makes your eyelids droop. Instead, you surreptitiously sneak your hand over to his arm, conscious of the Hydra agents in the front of the van. His muscles tense under your hand in surprise, but he doesn't pull away as he once might have. You find the edge of his shirt and begin tracing a word onto his skin. O-K-A-Y-?

You don't know why you asked him that, of all things, but you wanted to know if he was as nervous as you were. In turn, his hand finds your arm. N-O.

You breathe a small sigh of relief at his blatant honesty, reminding yourself that he did care about you as well and this wasn't a reality that existed only in your head. The next sentence takes longer, but every brush of your fingers against him calms you down. W-H-A-T D-O W-E D-O?

He hesitates, fingers feathering against your skin. D-O N-O-T K-N-O-W. His hand intertwines with yours, hidden from the eyes of the Hydra agents. You don't let go until you reach the base.

~

You were not exactly anxious to go back into your room, considering you had no idea how long it would be until someone let you out. But you were still sore and tired, so you trudged up to the facial recognition screen and tried not to cringe at the whining beep the sensor made as it opened to the doors to your cage. You go about readying yourself for bed, though you know you will struggle with sleep tonight. You trade your burnt clothes for plain black Hydra-issue pyjamas; about as comfortable as wearing a burlap sack, but better than wearing your mission outfit. You unload your pistol and set it on the wooden table for collection, slamming it down with a resounding thud. The sound echoes through the otherwise silent room, only serving to remind you that you are now alone.

Rolling your eyes at your dramatics, you throw yourself onto your bed – a regrettable action with the loose springs and stabbing wires that poke through the thin sheets – and clamp your eyes shut. You so did not miss this bed. You guess it hadn't seemed so bad before, seeing as you had had little else to compare it to. But after that plush hotel bed? You almost wish you had opted to sleep on the floor. Almost, because then you wouldn't have been able to enjoy the company of a certain super soldier.

Life had suddenly got a whole lot more complicated. Your usual routine of train, kill, sleep, repeat had blown up in your face. You normally train with the Winter Soldier, but now you must act like you do not care about him. You had messed up the killing part once already with that whole alley fiasco. Sleeping was not working for you either; your mind just would not shut off, and you didn't want to go into a cryo-sleep either. Life was just great.