DEVIATE X / / AN UNORDINARY FANFICTION

XXII.

The next day.

"Damn. You really suck Isen."

Isen's jaw dropped in disbelief as Blyke leaned back against the arcade chair, stretching his legs against the pedals of Mario Kart.

"W-what?! B-but I-!" He jabbed his finger at the screen as I read the leader board.

1st: DELTA
2nd: DIETER
3rd: BLYKE
4th: REMI
5th: THE_PERILOUS
6th: YEONG-GI
7th: SUHO
8th: LINK
9th: SOUSHI
10th: ISEN

"I don't even play videogames and I still made it to top five." Remi sighed, savoring Isen's embarrassment and frustration.

"You kept throwing banana peels everywhere....!"

"And you kept running into them. Dude, you're gonna be a terrible driver."

"Oh really...?? You wanna confirm that with another match....???" He challenged, his eyes burning with excitement and frustration.

"Sure, but don't slip on any banana peels."

I yawned, stretching as I glanced at the leaderboard again.

"I'll pass. I think i'll increase the odds in Isen's favor." I said and stood up, slightly dizzy.

"Yeah, same here." Blyke added as he promptly stood up before stretching his upper body, his eyes locking onto me with a curious expression. My eyes wandered around the abrasive, colorful lights filling every corner of the dark arcade, accompanied by 8bit sound bites and animated gun shots. But despite the liveliness of the scene lain out before me, a haze of yesterday's events fogged my mind, preventing me from fully savoring today's light hearted moment.

I stared at my feet as I walked, momentarily fascinated by my glowing shoelaces-a product of the fluorescent lights illuminating the area overhead.

Blyke nudged me a little and motioned towards some nearby tables, away from the cramped rows of games. I took a seat and averted my eyes down to the tabletop, letting the comfort of silence marinate in the air before he spoke.

"So, what's up with you?" He asked, shifting his eyes to the table as he leaned his head into his hand. His finger tapped the tabletop in a slow rhythm as he awaited for my answer.

"Sorry, I'm being a downer, aren't I?" I frowned.

"Not really. It's obvious something's different with you." He replied, shifting his eyes back up to meet mine.

I let myself stare into his eyes thoughtfully as the memories of the party surged through my brain. The tenderness of John's lips burned into my brain like some sick ritual, making me shift uncomfortably. It was impulsive—stupid even—to let myself be carried away like that, especially when I told him I couldn't allow myself to be caught up in a relationship. How was he feeling right now? Confused? Frustrated by my contradictory actions?

If I explained this all to Blyke, he'd probably think i'm just some lovesick girl stressing over trivial boy problems.

"Can I trust you to keep something to yourself?" I treaded lightly over my words, careful not to stumble and convey the wrong impression.

He promptly lifted his head and raised a brow, leaning back in his chair.

"Do you have a reason not to trust me?"

I sighed and straightened my pony tail, stretching the long sleeves of my hoodie over the surface of the table nervously.

"I kissed John yesterday." I mumbled, hoping that the distant, yet chaotic buzz of the games next to us would drown out my statement.

His eyes widened slightly in surprise before his expression settled into bitter amusement. Blyke snorted once as he mirrored my position, the chair creaking slightly under his weight.

"Wow, okay.," he said, throwing his hands up in a exasperated manner. "I didn't know you were into assholes."

"John's not an asshole." I replied defensively, narrowing my eyes in an earnest manner. "He's just....frustrated." I replied lamely, knowing that it was a terrible defense.

Yes....that was partly the reason. Frustrated over a society he couldn't mold himself into, no matter what type of angle he tried to take. Frustrated over the unjust treatment he was forced to endure over something he couldn't change, over something he was born with. In retrospect, frustration was an understatement of what John could be possibly feeling.

But Blyke couldn't possibly understand that.

"Sure...." Blyke trailed off sarcastically, the bitter edge in his tone only sharpening with each syllable. "But go on."

"I was at my Papa's housewarming party yesterday and I impulsively kissed him." I replied simply.

Blyke's eyes studied me with a somewhat skeptical expression plastered on his face.

"Your lips just happened to collide against his?" He asked, his tone dripping with the same bitter sarcasm.

"N-no," I lifted my eyes to the ceiling and cleared my throat, hoping to brush away the embarrassment that threatened to swallow me whole. "I-this wasn't the first time." I admitted shamefully, hoping the ill lighting would shadow my reddened face.

"So what are you guys then? Are you....dating?" Blyke questioned, cringing as the word rolled off his tongue.

"No. I told him that I couldn't date him because of the family stuff I told you about." I hinted as Blyke nodded thoughtfully. "But it was a mistake to kiss him yesterday."

His eyes shifted back to the cramped rows of games as he digested the simplicity of my answer. Without any context of what occurred between John and I this past month, it must've sounded pretty stupid to him.

"Do you want my two cents on this?"

Blyke leaned forward with a furrowed brow, leaving a soft indent on the center of his forehead, with his clasped hands shrouding the lower half of his face.

I let my shoulders rise and fall in a lazy slump.

"I don't what transpired between you two, but you have to know what dynamic you guys have. Are you friends, or are you guys more? I can't speak for all guys, but personally, I wouldn't want to play this game of 'we're dating but not really'. It should be cut and dried; either you're together or you're not. If you feel like you can't be with him, you shouldn't have invited him to the party last night. It only further complicates whatever relationship you guys have with each other."

Blyke's ultimatum bit painfully into heart, weighed down by brutal honesty that cleared the haze away from my mind. My scattered feelings were causing me to be rash with my actions and confused about my emotions, and if I couldn't keep them in line, it could ruin my friendship with John. I didn't even want to imagine the possibility of having a broken relationship with him.

"......You're right."  I lowered my eyes down to the the table, trying to numb the brutality of Blyke's words.

I need to talk to John after this.

Blyke's eyes softened under my conflicted gaze as he reached over the table, holding his fist out to me. It was a tentative and subtle, yet a powerful gesture that expressed his concern for me as a friend, with each word and intention meant to steer me in the right direction, no matter how harsh it was conveyed. With a soft, reassuring smile, I reached out and bumped my small fist against his, letting it linger for a bit before I regained my senses.

"......Thanks Blyke." :;