Lost and Found

10 | noah

"I didn't expect you to start so early," Dad says with a casual smile. His statement is meant to be humorous. However, I'm not in a very humorous mood.

How could I be, after my run-in with Blake? For the first time in three years, I saw the girl who has been on my mind nonstop, only to find out she's heading into a relationship with someone else. She hates me (not that I can blame her). Everything is different now.

Like a damn fool, I'd believed that somehow things would eventually be able to return to the way they were before I left. Before I ruined everything. I should have known that wouldn't be possible. It's the same as it being impossible to put a broken heart back together. Sure, it will reform, but there will always be scars and memories. Now I finally understand why people say you can forgive but never forget.

When I was a teenager, I'd come to my father's auto repair shop to work whenever I didn't have anything better to do. Now I'm here once again, feeling irritated and lost. I'd come back home to be with my family again, yes, but deep down I think I had an ulterior motive. That motive being to reconnect with Blake Rhodes, a love I'd lost yet always remained intact. Now I've learned that this isn't going to be possible, and I'm left feeling . . . well, heartbroken.

"I don't have anything better to do," I tell my father. "Thought I might as well put myself to good use."

Dad nods as I reach for a wrench, wandering over to the truck parked in the middle of the garage. It's a newer model, some sort of Dodge that needs work done under the hood. I don't pay much attention to what I'm doing as I pop the top of the truck open, eyes skimming over the different parts, lost in thought.

I almost don't hear my father when he softly asks, "You saw her, didn't you?"

The question stops me in my tracks. I didn't know my father could read me so well. Then again, maybe he can't. Maybe I'm just that obvious.

"I did," I admit after a moment. "I ran into her at the café. She was . . . on a date. His name is Dylan."

Dad winces, as if he can feel my pain. It's unbearable to think that the girl I love has found someone else to spend her time with. Somebody else to make her happy. Another man to lay next to her at night, to whisper sweet nothings in her ear, to make promises to the girl I lost because I made too many promises I couldn't keep.

"I'm sorry, son," Dad says. "I can only imagine how much that must hurt you."

"Yeah, well." I shrug, unsure of what to say. "What did I expect? For her to wait for me? After all this time, I should be happy that she's moved on. I mean, it's been three years."

Dad nods, studying me with a skeptical expression. Maybe something in my tone suggested that I mean otherwise about my former statement. Or maybe Dad knows me better than I first thought. Either way, it's clear he can tell that something about me is off.

"You said should," Dad notes after a long moment.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"You said that you should be happy Blake has moved on," Dad clarifies. "Not that you are happy."

Baffled, I find my features pinching into an expression of confusion as I blurt, "So?"

"So which is it?" Dad prompts. "Are you happy for Blake, or should you be happy for her?"

I stand in defeated silence for longer than I should, opening and closing my mouth only to find that no words will come out. I can't even fathom an answer to my father's question.

"You should think about that, son," Dad murmurs. I watch as my father turns his back to me as he wanders toward his office, walking out of my line of sight and leaving me alone with my thoughts.

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a/n: today has been one of those days where i'm just inexplicably sad??? its been fun!