Three years after his mother's death, Noah Reed is lost once again. Unsure of where to go after running from his problems for so long, he ends up back home, wanting a place to finally settle down. He's ready to tie up loose ends and to try and corre...
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I hadn't expected it to be so hard.
Not that breaking up with someone is every easy, though I still hadn't expected my heart to wrench in my chest as if it's being impaled with a stake as my eyes meet Dylan's, knowing that I'm planning to leave him.
After talking with Jess, it seemed like the decision to end things with Dylan wasn't only obvious, but necessary. If I'm being honest with myself, I think I've known from the moment I met Dylan that our relationship wasn't meant to last. There are people who enter our lives to play a role that is important, yet temporary. Now that I've had the time to think over everything, I realize that Dylan is one of those people to me. He entered my life when I needed someone the most, though his job is not to be my soulmate. Instead, his job was to help me realize that I'm strong enough to be independent and that I can't truly love anyone else until I learn to love myself first.
As hard as it's going to be to let him go, I know that releasing Dylan from my hold is what will be best for him. He doesn't deserve to be strung along, to be held back from so many other amazing opportunities.
Knowing all of this is what makes it hurt so much when Dylan surprises me with a date to the park just out of town to stargaze, having packed a picnic and my favorite plaid blanket; the one I would sleep with on the nights I'd fall asleep in his arms, content with myself despite the fact that something always seemed to be missing.
Though I've since figured out what was missing, I refuse to admit what I know to be true. I wouldn't say it aloud, or even to myself. Admitting the truth only makes it all the more real, and part of me wonders that if I ignore it then maybe the facts will change with time.
Lying back on the blanket as I mindlessly stare up at the night sky as these thoughts run through my head, I'm suddenly all too aware of Dylan's presence next to me. The air is still and quiet around us, allowing me to hear his breaths, noticing the rise and fall of his chest out of the corner of my eye from where he lays next to me. My heart breaks all over again as I find myself thinking of the way this sweet and innocent boy trusted me with his heart, only for me to hand it back to him. I hope that he'll understand that this situation hurts me too, and that he will someday be able to find it in his heart to forgive me.
"Dylan?" I mumble as I sit up, my hair tumbling over my shoulder as I glance down at him. "Can we . . . talk?"
"Of course." Dylan frowns as he gazes up at me, seemingly trying to read my expression. He must fail to be able to, because he sits up a few minutes later, as if realizing that I'm being serious.
I nervously glance away form him, unsure of what to say. Pursing my lips, I take a moment to think over my feelings, trying and failing to figure out how to put what I'm thinking into words.
"I'm not sure how to say this," I admit, "so I guess I'll just start by saying that I'm so grateful to have met you, Dylan. I'm so thankful that you entered my life and that we became friends. You've always been there for me, especially in the times I needed someone most. Thank you for being someone I can always count on, and for putting up with me for so long."
