Lost and Found

26 | blake

The rest of the night gets progressively worse.

Brooke doesn't show up, not bothering to call to give a reason as to why. Dad comes home late from work, hardly saying two words to Dylan when he does appear. His behavior is unusual, as he's always been rather protective about the boys Brooke and I have over. The twins and Jackie make very little effort to get to know Dylan, continuing on with their icy attitudes. Once dinner ends, Mom immediately calls it a night, heading to be without much of a goodbye to Dylan.

I apologize to Dylan profusely as I walk him to his car. He assures me that everything is fine, though I can tell that he's hurt by the way he refuses to meet my gaze. He leaves without giving me a hug, and I return to the house with a heavy heart.

I wash the dishes by myself, a chore that Reeve usually helps me with. Normally I'll wash while Reeve dries. However, I'm not surprised to find myself isolated in the kitchen tonight. I suppose I'm better off on my own right now, as I don't trust myself not to blow up at my siblings if I run into them.

I'm ready to go home to my dorm and rant to Jess about how terribly the night went when I remember the fight I had with her, which only worsens my mood.

I drop my keys onto the counter, realizing that I don't want to go back to my dorm. I rest my elbows on the counter and run my hands through my hair, inhaling a sharp breath. I head for the stairs, ready to spend the night in my old bedroom.

I find Jackie, Grayson, and Reeve sitting on the floor in the living room, Uno cards splayed out before them. My first thought is to ignore the three of them and walk past in silence, as I usually tend to keep to myself when I'm angry. However, by the time I reach the staircase I realize that I am no longer able to hold my tongue.

I turn to face my siblings, blinking back the tears that begin pricking at my vision. My voice shakes as I ask, "How could you?"

My siblings sit in silence, all of them avoiding my gaze. I realize that they aren't going to speak, so I fill the silence with my own wobbly voice.

"Your behavior tonight was the last thing I expected from the three of you," I scold. "Not only did you embarrass me, but you hurt me. I can't believe you all would treat me and a person I care about in such a way. I thought you had a little more respect for me than that."

"Blake—" Reeve starts to speak, expression filled with remorse.

"There is no excuse for the way you acted tonight," I interrupt. "You've never even met Dylan! Was it too much to ask for you to give him a chance?"

"Why should we have to give him a chance?" Grayson retorts, angry as well. "David isn't our rebound."

Reeve glares at Grayson, but Grayson ignores him. Anger burns in my veins and begins to course through my body at my brother's comment.

"You should give Dylan a chance the same way you gave Noah a chance!" I cry. "Is it too much to—" I stop short, realization suddenly dawning on me. I glance between the three of my siblings, wondering how I didn't spot the obvious until now.

"Oh," I mutter to myself when the truth hits me, unsure of what else to say. It's much too hard to hold back my tears as I spit, "You didn't want to give Dylan a chance because he's not Noah. Is that it?"

"Blake—" Reeve tries again, his expression coated in guilt.

"I can't believe you all," I spit in disgust. "I get that you liked Noah. I get that you all had special bonds with him and that you miss him and that you never got a chance to tell him goodbye. I get that you want to spend time with him now that he's back in town. But you know what? Noah and I are not together anymore. We're not getting back together. So it doesn't matter how terribly you treat Dylan, it's not going to bring Noah back. He left because he wanted to, and no matter how badly you treat me, nothing is going to change that!" I don't realize I've started to yell until I feel my throat become hoarse, and I don't realize that the tears I've been trying to hold back have started to fall until I feel them landing on my cheeks.

I turn around and race up the staircase after my outburst, entering my old room and slamming the door behind me like I'm a teenager all over again. I try to contain my emotions as I lower onto my mattress, pulling my blanket up to my chin.

I cry myself to sleep, the same way I did all those nights after Noah first left. It seems it doesn't matter where Noah Reed is these days; he somehow manages to break my heart without even having to be around.

____

a/n: so i actually did move out of my parents house. and yk what? worst decision of my life. i've never regretted something so much. some unnecessary advice: do not make a life-changing decision out of anger. please hold your loved ones close and remind them that they are important to you while you still can. you never realize how much you will miss someone until you're not with them anymore. :/