"Night I think I'm pregnant." I said standing in front of him. My period had yet to come for the second time in a row. I was also having really bad nausea and I ruled it as morning sickness even though it was all day.
"Why you think that? I thought you was on birth control?" He asked me not looking away from his game and I smacked my teeth.
"Night can you turn off the game, I'm trying to talk to you about something serious."
"Baby I'm listening, I just gotta finish this mission wit' the boys right quick." I rolled my eyes plopping on the bed, waiting for his bitch ass to die but he wasn't. I got fed up and walked to the game before unplugging it and he did the most.
"Bruh why the fuck would you do that shit!?"
"Cause I'm tryna talk to you about something important and you blowing me off. The fuck? Yelling at me like you done lost your damn mind."
"Nawl you lost you damn mind, I was winning!"
"And you got a baby on the way!" I said in the same tone as him.
"You don't even know that, what happened to you getting on birth control."
"What happened to you not nutting in me every time we have sex?" "I got off birth control cause that shit wasn't healthy for me."
"So what you want me to do? Go get some tests for you or something?" I nodded my head and he got up, grabbing his keys. "Why you acting so erked with me?"
"Cause you just erked the fuck outta me." I said matter of factly and he sighed leaving out the room. Midnight acted so stupid sometimes, it actually drove me crazy.
"I thought you was on birth control?" I mocked him in a deep voice rolling my eyes. " nigga no you ain't think that. Like why would he just say that?" I was real life talking to myself. "Like if you not happy about me being pregnant then just say that the fuck!?"
"And I can hear your big goofy ass." He yelled out, walking back into the room.
" maybe I wanted you to hear it."
"Then why the fuck you wait till' I left the room to talk that shit? I'm starting to think you foreal deal pregnant cause you on a 1000....nawl foreal." "Why wouldn't I be happy to have my child with you."
"I don't know midnight, I don't know."
"Right cause that's goofy as hell."
"Whatever, bring me back some chic-fil-a." He didn't say anything but I knew he heard because an hour later he rolled into the room with some fresh chic-fil-a.
"Yeah that's what I thought."
"Fat ass and ion know if these the right ones cause I ain't never bought no shit like this but yeah." He passed me the bag and I saw that he had got the First response brand. " then the lady at the check out goin holla out damn how many women you get pregnant?!." I chuckled cause he sounded funny tryna talk like her. I didn't know the lady but midnight was doing her wrong,
"Cause you got like 10 of these hoes."
"I only got 5 so we can make sure foreal." I chuckled as I placed the bag to the side and picked up my food.
"Why you get the large meal for? You calling me fat?"
"Yes cause you're a fat ass. "
"I know I gotta fat ass but why you ain't get you some food?"
"Cause I want a home cooked meal." He said smirking at me and I rolled my eyes.
"If I asked you to get me some food that means I don't wanna cook for my damn self....so what makes you think that imma cook for you."
"Cause I be laying that dick down."
"Hm, not lately." We still wasn't intimate because at first I felt uncomfortable to do so and midnight being who he was, he never pressured me. I had been doing self meditation and decided to heal from the situation by myself. Meaning I didn't want a therapist to tell me what to not do and what I should do.
I was scrolling on my Instagram feed one day and it was a thread on sexual abuse and rape. It was basically girls either coming out about sexual assault and telling their story, how at first they felt like they were the one to Blame and it was their fault.
I looked at myself and the things I thought about, weather it was me trying to change how I dressed so I wouldn't show any skin. Because I thought that's the reason he violated me. Me blaming myself was why I felt so shitty inside because I thought everything was my fault. When I stopped putting blame on myself and all blame on the monster, it really helped me heal. I knew I wasn't fully healed from that trauma but it was a big step. I also wanted to thank Midnight for being so understanding in my decisions to not wanna have sex for a minute, he would sometimes ask but he never got mad when the answer was No. it was always "I understand boo"
"That ain't on me though." He said shrugging his shoulders. I did miss him being inside me and how he made me feel. I really did.....I just didn't want to embarrass myself like the last time.
"I know." " I'm proud of you though." I said and he looked at me as he started unplugging his game and I groaned out loud.
"What you doing allat for?"
"Because I wanna talk to me baby daddy without him being focused on a fictional game." He slick started smiling when I called him baby daddy, I peeped. He was so cute.
"You know I be multi-tasking. But imma give you 15 to say what the fuck you gotta say." I scrunched my eyebrows looking up from my spicy sandwich.
"Night don't get fucked up in this room."
"Ari Yeen got no type of balls to step to me no kind of way and you know that." "Talm bout don't get fucked up in this room.....you 5 feet tall."
"So but I got heart of a giant."
"You don't....you scary." I just let him talk shit cause I knew what my hands could do. "So you really ain't finna' cook?" I huffed slightly rolling my eyes. I really didn't want to but he haven't ate all day so I gave in.
"Yeah what you want?"
"I want some breakfast food though."
"That's should be easy." I was kinda glad he said that.
"I want some bacon and sausage with the croissant and some of them fries you be making." The meal wasn't going to take me too long so I stayed put for a little while, finishing up my food.
"Okay I'm finna be back in a little bit."
"Take the test first." He said quickly looking at me as I was about to the leave the room.
"Dang you seem urgent." I said chuckled and he laughed a little too.
"Yeah I've been having dreams about a baby girl and at first I thought it was lani bad ass....but the little girl kept calling me daddy." He said looking as if he was thinking.
"Why you ain't never tell me that?"
"Cause I thought you got on birth control so it wasn't no chance." I laughed at him cause he was such a dumb ass.
"So you really thought I got back on it? If I did I would've told you and I definitely don't remember telling you that."
"Because your ass was taking forever to get pregnant." I shook my head at him.
"After somebody have a really bad miscarriage, they tend to have trouble getting pregnant and I think that's what was happening." I don't remember having any intercourse with midnight and it was protected. It was crazy and sounded unsafe but we both were clean and kept our bodies protected. I also knew for a fact that he wasn't fucking around on me and nor was I.
"Yeah My Gma did tell me about some like that. But you stalling babygirl. IM READY!" He yelled out sounded excited and I giggled grabbing my bag.
"Okay okay okay."
"Niggas finna be mad!"
"Ohh my gosh night shut up l. You're ridiculous." I said laughing at him even though he was completely right.
