What Belongs to Me [COMPLETE]

Chapter 4 "Smell of Addiction"

2007

I am the type that don't really look on the face of a stranger anywhere I am and I go, I preferred them looking at me making whatever judgement they would like to make. I looked for all the world that I was walking to my own beat, literally that there was a rock music playing in my own head, clunking on my skull, like slaying a fashion runway. Some of my university friends say that I was a snob, because according to them when I was walking around the campus and happened to meet them; they said that I am not returning their smile even when I saw them eye to eye, and making them look like a fool.

That is why I always end up trying to explain myself to them that I really didn't saw them, it might look like it because I don't look downward when I walk, I look straight in front but my mind is flying somewhere and thinking about something else. I'm not really fond of multi-tasking, I do things one at a time and I make sure to do it correctly and perfectly, that is why. I don't do chores at the same time, I don't play music when I'm reading and don't talk to others when I'm in the middle of internalizing my favorite author novel in my hands. I just don't!

It was mid-October then, the time when people are lazy to brushed off their blankets wrapped around them and to take a shower in the morning because of the temperature's dipping to twenty's, season to put on some sweatshirts when going to school. And as for me, I might even use gloves because the cold's easily creeping and penetrating all over my body even though it's not that chilled.

My brother used to stay in my apartment from time to time. Well, we didn't lived together because we don't really get along, maybe because we're just a year apart. That's why what I get, he gets it too. My taste in anything contradicts his, just like when sleeping; I preferred the lights to be turned on while he wants it switched off. He is tall and a good basketball player; his skin is lighter than mine; what a shame, i thought. He loves wearing fitted t-shirts with the sleeves wrapped around his muscles causing then to pop out. He is somewhat a genius in playing chess and was even sent to the regional tournaments. A person who knows both of us will always say we looked alike but I don't think so, I look like mom with her gracefullness while he gets the masculine features of our father I say.

It was a semi-bright afternoon, the clouds were curled like a cotton balls floating in the sky. The street right in front of my apartment is getting busier with the vehicles heading south and heading north. And there are continues crowds of students passing by, coming from the university where I study; only two blocks away from my place. And then suddenly some voices are descending from the rooftop of our three-story apartment, 'of course no doubt one of them is my bro', I thought. Even though he doesn't lives with me, I'm surprised he's friends with most of the boarders in the whole building well maybe that is his charm because in only two semesters, he'll be a teacher already.

Their voices continually grew bigger and filling the space as they're coming down, calling each other "tol" even though they're not real brothers which I find it really weird. The guy with him asked my bro to wait for him, for he is shy. Because obviously it was my room and I should be giving the permission to anyone who comes in. But as for me; I'm getting used to it, my bro is always having his guests in my place and I don't really care to bother him about it and to concern myself. My bro told me glancing to the guy with him, that he is his friend from just above us (well I'm not a fool, of course I know and I'm familiar with his face at least) but my bro entered the main door and didn't even care to tell me his name--- why would he though.

The guy who was standing on the landing, hand on metal railing, just nodded at me with a quizzical smile as he passed while I just raised my eyebrows putting a little curve beside my lips as an acknowledgement for them to take their time talking. I've been seeing this guy going up and down the stairs, meeting him in the alley few times already, I thought. But just this time, I studied his looks in deep curiosity and with clear details. The guy in fitted shorts with a cut above his knee is not so tall maybe he stands five feet and six inches, he is thin but broad-shouldered, with the closed crop cut military hair that makes him more masculine and giving him an air of a bad bad boy, his jawline is so firm almost having an emperor's jaw, he has an undeniably sharp nose and a dilated eyes secured by his thick eyebrows which completed his perfect look. He was a living work of art, I thought, his brown skin so tempting to touch; every move giving away his strength. Even with arm's length when he passed by me, I could smell the strong fragrance emanated from him which made me tilt my head to the side to follow his scent. I'm not sure if it's from his white clean T-shirt with a crease on it like a folded paper or coming from his shining pure black hair hit by the golden rays of the sunlight. I trapped the mysterious scent of the guy on my lungs until the stagnant air was blew by the soft wind after some minutes.

From that moment I began to think that there was something, a smell of addiction, something in him that will put me to distraction. As they're talking in the living room, entered my room because i just couldn't concentrate reading anymore, I place the book I was reading on my side table and play some music in my computer in low volume to simply pry on their conversation. I was biting my lips and frowning a little while checking if I can have more details about this guy who just got my precious attention.

Days had passed and my bro friendship with him became closer which means that his visits at my place became usual and there, I learned that his name was (Ceasare). We started to talked to each other saying few words only at times when my bro ask me to relay something to him or if he has something for my bro. Not so long after knowing each other a little more, Ceasare began to come to my place so often, like every day even though my bro was not there. He talk about random topics, about his life in the province, his grandparents who raised him handsomely; because his mom's abroad and his dad had passed away when he's still very young, about his everyday life at his school like reporting to me everything that's happening to him. Who knows if he already talked about this with my bro? But it's not important anymore, what's important to me is knowing that he trusted me enough to tell his stories and secrets.

The guy became so sneaky that he constantly comes to my room anytime of the day he wanted, just hanging out around me, watching me doing my 'plates' (interior design drawings and projects) while playing games on his phone beside me, watching movies on my computer while lying on my bed. He then became part of my everyday life, until I found myself always waiting for him, for his coming to me, because he is now a part of me. I must be crazy for letting him do as he wished. No! My interest in him has secretly and silently grew bigger and I can no longer take it back again. I'm doomed I thought.