What Belongs to Me [COMPLETE]

Chapter 11 "Misunderstanding!!!"

I stirred up from my bed with my head still hurting, the hung-over just couldn’t leave me from last night's party. I wondered if what was the time already and if the sun had already sets low after I slept in probably the whole day. I sat up from my bed and got out of my room only to welcome the chilled air creeping all over me in my sleeveless shirt. It was raining again; I went to the door outside to watch the rain, big raindrops are falling to the ground like multiple messages sent from above. I was absorbed in watching the street, the people on foot cloaked under umbrellas, some seating inside their comfortable cars passing the ones in bicycles and tricycles. I was leaning on the doorjamb, arms crossed touching and rubbing my elbows, comforting myself while enjoying the rain splashing wonderfully when Cizar entered my mind.

My thought was then shifted to Cizar, I just remembered what happened early in the morning when I arrived; “he was laying on my bed, his left arm covering his eyes, right hand on his navel. He sat up when I came in then he asked me why didn’t I come home, but I didn’t answer him. He said he had texted me; asking what time will I get home, but I was fixing my things as if I didn’t hear what he was saying.” Maybe because my head was still hurting that time and I just didn’t want to talk at the moment. He then got up and left my room without saying anything. I didn’t care about it, I took off my clothes, locked my door, switch off the light and then I lay down to sleep.”

Light sound of chimes coming from the dream-catcher that was hanged by one of my board mate on the living room black grilled sliding window because she deeply believes in superstitions and that chimes can ward off bad spirits. And now, the sound of the chimes is echoing from every corner of the space, when someone is ascending the staircase with black umbrella still unclosed. He stopped on the landing of our flat, just standing facing my direction, umbrella unraised so that I couldn’t see his face. I noticed his tapered fingers tightly curled around the umbrella’s wooden handle. His nails are neatly squared, no polish. Only then I realized it was Cizar when I saw my bracelet that he insisted on borrowing from me wrapped beautifully on his wrist. I was just about to call him when he raised his umbrella for me to see his face, his eyes are staring cold at me, lips pushed to his left cheek and then he suddenly turned his back and continued ascending the stairs.

He left me without saying anything, left me thinking of him until the rain stopped. Now I’m back to watching the street again, the people moving with purposed which I would never know, watching the cars drive by, the water spitting out from the tiers. Well I deserved it for what I did to him this morning, I thought. I entered my room after torturing myself thinking what did I made so wrong that he is now so cold towards me. I picked up my clothes from the floor, I wondered what was the heavy thing on my pocket, it was my phone and it’s barely hanging on with its six percent battery life.

I opened it and I was left staring at the multiple notifications popping on the top part of it. Messages from different group chat and personal chats that I must back read. Apart from that, there were also missed calls and most of it are from Cizar, he also left multiple text massages asking if what time will I come home, if I was just alright, reminding me to watch my capacity, he also asked me to reply so that he won’t worry so much, and so many more.

Again! he won, he left me again with mouth open and with eyes closed breathing heavily. Now I’m feeling bad for him, I felt horrible; I’m guilty keeping him waiting for me. But wait, I clearly told him not to wait for me, so what’s his issue? And one more thing, I was still offended on what happened to us on bed when he got sick, I thought. But no! This is not the time for counting mistakes, I said. I made a mistake so I need to fix it, I will let him fix his. I’m not the type to make things complicated than how it is, I always get things through as fast as possible to avoid misunderstandings. After cleaning the mess in my room and tidying my things a little, I sent Cizar a message on messenger, “hey, can you come down for a bit? Thanks.”

When he's already on my room, seating on my stool,
“You know, I’m really sorry for keeping you waiting last night, you understand it right?”
“You could have at least answered one of my calls, right.” He said coldly.
“It’s a party and everyone was talking with the loud music in the place, how can i…..” I said.
“You could have replied on my messages right?”
“Look, I’m really sorry, I didn’t know you waited for me, I clearly told you not to wait, am I correct?” I defensively explained.
“Ow, sorry if I waited for you, I’m sorry if I worried for you. I guess this is what I get from it.” He said sarcastically.
“Cizar, please stop being sarcastic. You know I appreciate your concern and I’m thankful for it, that’s why I’m apologizing now.” I said.
“You did huh, fine. Apology accepted.” Turning his back on me and about to grab the doorknob, when I grab his shirt from the back gently.
“Wait, where are you going?” I asked.
“I believe, my business is already finish here, I’m going upstairs now, I’m busy doing something.”
“Are you still mad?”
“No I’m not.” He said then he continued grabbing the knob and then he walked out.
What’s wrong with him? I thought. If he only knew what happened to me last night, the craziness I displayed because of him last night. Now that I remembered, I actually read one of his message last night when I was already really really drunk, the part when he said,
“I’m going to wait for you.” That’s why I kept on saying what I was saying last night. I wanted to tell him, “See. I tried to go home. Because someone is waiting for me, but my friends didn’t let me because I was too drunk.” But I kept it to myself, I’m not yet ready confessing my feelings and of course I want him to do the revelation.

“I’m sure, everyone experienced waiting for their “the one” to come to their lives, I fell in love for the first time when I was twelve, but everyone calls that a puppy love. Was it still considered a love when it is one sided? Well they call it “one sided love” so I guessed it’s still a love. I believed everyone had that glimpsed of a fairytale flashed on their way. But soon they had come to realized that love is not that easy and it is a dangerous thing. Once it had us motivated to do good deeds but when things gone the wrong way, we just tumble on our feet and lost our interests. When we lost that person on our sight for any reason, we’ll come to realized that the world is too big and we need to fly high and spread our wings in order to find what we lost because sometimes it is true that the way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.”

With Cizar bothering my thoughts, I couldn’t fully concentrate on my plates, I couldn’t think clearly. I know that he is still upset and that I have to make an effort to fix our misunderstandings. But I also have to exert lots of extra efforts on my studies. This was nothing! I reminded myself over and over for the thirteenth time already, looking at the sharp black eyes that are gazing back at me, my reflection in the mirror while sipping my caramel flavored coffee in my black Starbucks’ mug. I stroked my hair with my fingers, put some powder on my face, sprayed some calvin klein cologne on my neck and fixing my shirt and then I went outside my room, thinking if should I really go to Cizar?

The third-story of our apartment where Cizar lives was just the same as the second-story where my bedroom is. I went inside and it was bare but surprisingly cozy. Light poured through the matching pair of large window that is facing the street. The set-up of the rooms and placement of furniture was just like a total replica of my flat. That’s why sometimes when anyone of us in the building has a visitor; they end up knocking on other boarder’s door because of the repetitive design of each floor. I took a deep breath then I knocked on Cizar's wooden flush door three times using not my knuckles but the silver ring on my middle finger. I mumbled counting and it took him twelve seconds to open the door and the surprised on his face was so obvious that he couldn’t even shield. The chances coming to Cizars’ bedroom can be numbered and tallied with my 10 delicate fingers compared to him coming to my room that was almost every day, I even lost total of it.

He was top-less when he opened the door and 'oh God' i thought, messy hair and he hasn’t washed his somewhat oily face yet.
“What is it?” he asked still startled.
“Aren’t you letting me in?” I asked wandering my eyes inside.
“My room is a mess……” he was saying when I cut him off, forcing myself inside. His shorts that he was wearing when he left me this morning and monogrammed underwear was laying on the floor and few splayed notebooks on his bed. He looked at me shyly and simply picked up his belongings on the floor and tossed it on the laundry tray like a pro and hiding his smirk when he saw me raised my brow in amazement. I noticed that his room is quite tidy compared to my room because he has only few things inside, the only necessary things that a student must have, while on my case; I have a pile of books, clothes and drafting materials and plates inside my room.

“So why did you come up here? I already told you, I’m not mad.” He said but obviously somewhat irritated with my presence.
“Ohhh, Really?” I asked him.
“Yes, so please return to your room now, I know you’re very busy and don’t have time for me.” he said with knitted brows.
“That’s not true, I do have time for you” I complained at him frowning.
“Oh com’on, we both know---“he was saying when I pulled off my hand from my back holding a board. He stared at me, gaping jaw when he saw what I was holding. I was keeping in my hands the thing he asked me to draw last time. I extended it to him saying,
“Here, sorry if I don’t have time for you and for you request” with my raised left eyebrow in sarcasm.
“Hey, don’t be like that, I didn’t mean it in a bad way” he said pouting.
“hmmmmm”
“I didn’t expect this, I have no idea that you already made it, thank you so much! You didn’t have to make it this awesome; my teacher might not believe that I did this myself.” he was grinning from the side of his lips all the way to the wrinkled of the corner of his beautiful eyes.
“Oh com’on, it’s true that you can’t make something like that” I said flatly.
“There you go again boasting, where should we eat? My treat!”
“Really? You’re not mad at me anymore?” i gasped at my words in excitement.
“Jezzz... Is there a language barrier here? How many times must I tell you that I was not mad at you? For you to believe me?”
“Ok then, thanks for your treat but you were right, I’m busy right now but it’s not true that I don’t have time for you. Maybe save it for next time.” I smiled widely then I opened the door.
“Thank you again.” He said escourting me to the main door.