What Belongs to Me [COMPLETE]

Chapter 20 "The Night"

As I was seating on my drafting stool, playing my globe ball on my hands, i decided to write another note on my phone diary:
“Destiny is really unpredictable; I couldn’t imagine that after what I’ve been through from my thesis and my relationship with Cizar, after throwing misfortunes on my path, now he is generously doing me a favor. I could say that Twenty-Seventeen is the worse year of my whole existence for now but it was also the year that I’ve discovered the one thing that can change everything and that can break anything, Love.

Cizar became my insomniac on the nights that followed but I had already learned from my past mistake. So whenever I couldn’t stop thinking about Cizar, I would spend my time doing my thesis because final defense is now fast approaching. I’m focusing my attention on my plates until my thoughts of him cease swooping and darting and banging into the walls of my mind. I’m not letting myself again deceive by my memory, the grief and longing from my past and even my recollections of him.

I was watching a Korean drama “While You Were Sleeping- starred by Lee Jong Suk and Bae Suzy” when I received a text message from Cizar, the one I’ve been waiting for,
“Hi Lheam, do you have time this evening?” I didn’t replied him immediately so that he won’t think that I am too excited on seeing him, though I really am, after ten minutes,
“Yes, what is it about Cizar?”
“Can I go to your place later tonight?”
“Ahmmm Cizar… Maybe…”
“Or maybe, can we perhaps meet outside if it’s just ok to you.” He said rushing before I could disapprove the idea of him in my place, I wasn’t ready yet.
“Yeah sure, meeting halfway would be ok.”
“Where do you want us to meet Lheam?”
“I couldn’t really think of a nice place…..”
“Is it just ok to you if we meet at the café that we use to have coffee before? It is more private you know…” he knows that I want to eat and have a cup of tea on a more reserved place, where there are no loud people.
“Sure Cizar, maybe Seven-Thirty…? After our classes is finish? Is that good?”
“Yeah yeah, see you there.”
“Sure”
When I arrived at my apartment after my Auto-Cadd03 was finished, I cleaned my room and fixed my things on my drafting table and the mess I left on the floor. I did it to suppress the excitement I was feeling before meeting Cizar after a year of no connection; I just thought that I needed to look good. I took a rejuvenating long shower before changing into my clothes that I had prepared before going inside the shower; a plain Baleno white semi-fitted shirt and a UniQlo plain white short that has a cut above my knee and a black cap that has a big L.A. embroidered on it which my uncle in California gave me when he made a visit in the Philippines. I unwrapped the new book that I had bought at the National Bookstore the last time I went to SM, a James Patterson new suspense best-selling masterpiece “The president is missing“, I read just a few chapter of it to divert my impatience on seeing Cizar. When I glanced at my alarm clock on my side table, it was already past seven-thirty, I decided to be a little late for once in my life, I had always been the most punctual student ever since I was a little boy. After ten minutes, I jumped on my white Crocs and went to the café where Cizar was already waiting.

The location was more than ten minutes away from my apartment because it was situated at the city boarder overlooking the long orange bridge that is connecting the city to the town at the other side, this famous bridge was one of the longest bridge in the entire Philippines built by the famous President Ferdinand Marcos who put the entire country under the control of Martial Law during his twenty-one years of ruling. Because the location is settled in a high area, I could see the dotting lights from the buildings around the city and the marvelous series of lights on the bridge connecting to the scattered lights on the other side.

When I arrived at the place, I could really feel the serenity and peacefulness in the surroundings. The tranquility it’s offering to one’s mind and soul is evident as I was trudging the series of flat stones scattered on the ground. People around the place are more disciplined because they do understand and respect the purpose of the place. I entered the café and began appreciating the design of the interior, because I haven’t been in the café ever since I had my fight with Cizar. From the wooden floor wherein you needed to remove your shoes before you enter to feel the warmth its giving, all of the indigenous materials that they used in building the place- the pattern and textures on the walls to the ceiling, the handcrafted decorations everywhere you lean your eyes, the delicate carvings on the table and chairs, the delightfulness of the paintings on the walls and the illuminating pattern of handcrafted material used in the suspended droplights added to the warmness of the entire place.

I was looking for a sign of Cizar while standing on the foot or the three-stepped terracotta tiled stair when I saw him standing from his chair, waving his right hand slowly at me. Cizar was still the same, his way of putting on himself didn’t change, his army-cut hair style was still the same, it’s like nothing change in him at all. He was wearing a loose-white sweatshirt with a sketch drawing of one-piece design in black and white on it, a black short just like mine that has a cut above his knee. I could see the improvement on his built, it looks like he has done series of work-out but his deep tanned skin complexion was still the same.

But the thoughts about the breath taking view of the place, the astounding interiors of the café and Cizar’s hot outfit; broke apart when he finally smiled at me grinning broadly, pupils dilated under his flattering eyelashes, maintaining eye-contact with me as I am approaching the table where he is seated. I also flashed him my beautiful eyes and a dimpled smile when I stood at the back of the chair opposite to him. He chose the corner wherein we could see the view of the bridge and a slight spot to the sky. We were unsure if we are going to hug each other like long time no-see brothers, we just decide to shake hands not thinking how absurd and formal is it. But when my hand touched his hand, it seemed to me that the world turned into slow motion for me. I was electrified by the very familiar warmth in front of me, as we leaned forward to each other; I was again hit and intoxicated by his scent that had never change a bit. The pounding on my chest was the only thing that I could hear that made me gripped his hand more tightly causing him to wince slightly. I realized that I couldn’t let go of my grasp to his hand, but he just smiled at it causing me to raise my eyebrows and nodding for us to seat down.

I made a sigh as we sat down, but he just smile. He couldn’t stop smiling maybe because he also felt a little tension that is why he began talking,
“Wowww” he paused, “it feels like it has been ages now, right?”
“Right…..”
“I tried to reach out, but…..” he paused again, “but I thought you already change your number…..”
“I didn’t, maybe I just didn’t see the messages, you know there’s a lot of spam messaged these days…..” I laughed awkwardly because of my lousy excuse, he just nodded but I could see that he wasn’t convinced.
“Yeah yeah, anyway, how are you doing now? I thought you had already graduated.” I felt a pang of shame about his remark.
“Ahhh….. You know, sometimes luck wasn’t on our side, thesis…” I said shyly
“Owww see, that thing before, I wasn’t aware of it… how bad must be that for you… I saw how you worked hard for it, what happened?”
“It was a long story Cizar.” I said flatly.
“Ohh your right, you know what? I saw you during my senior high graduation but you didn’t see me, I wanted to approach you, but you’re with someone, a girl.”
“Oww really, yeah she is my friend who studied on the same university as you, I came to congratulate her.”
He had no idea that I made a double purpose going there, to support my friend but my eyes was just on him while he was seating until he marched to the stage to received his diploma. And I also saw him looking at me when we met on the covered walk when the program was already over. But I shifted my gaze to the intricate columns of the buildings as we brushed our shoulders together and me feeling the same electricity when I touch his hand.
“I was scared that you wouldn’t talk to me anymore after what happened…” he paused, “to us...” he said shyly.
“Me too” I said, “but you know, it’s in the past already and people learn to move on, right?”
“Right Lheam.”

At some points our knees are brushing under the table sending excitement to our conversation causing us to giggle sometimes. We were conversing just fine while staring outside on the mirroring lights of the moon and stars in the sky to the lights of the bridge and the buildings causing a reflection to the dark part of gleaming water in the river.

He was always initiating the topic so I decided to also ask him some things that I have been curious about.
“By the way? What course did you took up?” he sighed.
“Ohh it’s a long story Lheam.”
“How so?”
“When I graduated from high school, I decided to take the entrance exam of your school, in your department but I didn’t make it.” I nodded.
“Why?”
“I guessed it’s not for me, I wanted to study there because you are also there but maybe it wasn’t the right time for us to meet yet before.”
“I see, so… what is your course?”
“I still pursued my passion, I’m studying electrical engineering.”
“Ow wow, that’s great then… how is it going?” he sighed in frustration,
“Aghhh Lheam… it’s killing me…”
“That was just normal, studying is really frustrating, but you have to find a motivation, your family!?” I said, he smirked at the thought of motivation then he nodded.
“Yeah, I need some motivation indeed.” I blushed. And he said,
“How about you now…?”
“Oww, I was doing fine, a lot better now, long story as well.”

The air became chiller as the night became denser; I was brushing my elbows when Cizar noticed it,
“Hey, use my jacket.” Handing me his brown semi-leather jacket.
“No need Cizar, what about you…?”
“I’m wearing sweatshirt, remember?” insisting in extending the jacket to me.
“Sure, how can I resist if you insist” grinning at him while taking his jacket.
“I really brought that with me because I know that you easily catch a cold and yet you still liked to play under the rain.” I was surprised and just laughed at the thought.
“Nonsense…. Cizar” I said jokingly. He just laughed and said,
“I’m serious Lheam, ha ha, I knew that it’s cold here most especially now that it’s night time and rainy season.”
“Okay Okay, I’m fluttered…..” we laughed.

“It’s getting late now Cizar, we should go home now.”
“To your home?” I was stunned, eyes widened. And he said, “joke! I was just kidding. You’re right, we have to get going.”
“So…”
“Thank you for the night Lheam.”
“Yeah, it was nice seeing you again.”
“Thank you for reaching out to me, it really means a lot to me, Lheam…”
“Yeah… you’re welcome and thank you too.”
“We should meet more often…”
“I’m fine with that…” he smiled. “Friends?” I said withdrawing my right hand to him, he bit his lips, unsure to shake hands with me, and he said,
“Come here.” He grabbed my shoulders, put my extended hand to his waist and hugged me tightly; my hands fell to my side, unsure, until I realized that he’s waiting for my reaction, so I curled my arms to him and rubbed his back slightly and he said,
“Yeah friends! Friends!” breathing intensely and I could feel our chest pounding, our heart racing rapidly in the same rhythmic pattern, his body was warm and the smell on his neck is really exhilarating my senses. We let go and smiled gratefully to each other, and then we parted ways and we went home.

I couldn’t sleep when I throw myself at my bed; I could smell his scent on my shirt because of that unending hug that he gave me. And his manly scent became even stronger because of his jacket that he lent me. He is all I see while I’m staring blankly at the ceiling. I was yet again in loved with Cizar or maybe my existing feelings for him was just rekindled and strengthened because of our meeting. I was hugging his jacket until I fell asleep and resumed my dreams about him.

We began seeing again more often, our bodies began accepting each other again, forgetting our past and our flaws. We opened our feelings to each other and letting emotions manifest between us. Letting random emotions explode like spider web shadowing on the clear black night sky along the scattered stars. Filling the astonishing beauty of the crescent moon with the new and fresh ideas of our bonding. And letting destiny decide for us and our ending once again. Because now we clearly understand that Mr. Destiny is the shadow behind our adventurous fate.