What Belongs to Me [COMPLETE]

Chapter 19 "The healing process."

2007-2008

I heard no more about Cizar the following week, I never saw him at the apartment and I didn't know where he disappeared to. The days became more buoyant after what happened, I spent my hours at the rooftop looking at the horizon, watching the sun went into hiding behind the mountains, awaiting the blue hour to pass beautifully and waiting for the coming of the night until I find myself tearing. I didn't reach out for Cizar because I was shy, after what happened, after the confessions and revelations of our feelings and emotions. It would be very awkward for the both of us to talk about it, it's not like we're the opposite gender to be acting all clingy and gracefully.

But I could guarantee that I was still furious at him because of what he did; after that day I had promised myself that I won't forgive him for what he has done to me. And that someday, when I will receive a message from him, I will learn to ignore it. I had already told him how I felt for him all this time and now it will be his turn to suffer from the pain of longing; my confession is my way to inflict pain in him.

Christmas Eve and I was home, I came home to celebrate with my family, and I stayed at my grandma house- the family house. Everyone seemed to be very blithesome and cheerful wearing green outfits as the color code we had chosen, waiting for the grand-fathers-clock to strike twelve. Mama video called us, tearing because of her longing to be with us, she was crying with my Lola because of the happiness. We also video called our family in the US and in Italy but they were stunned because of our early call, well because of the time difference. After the countdown, we raised our glasses of white champagne for a toast and then we enjoyed eating the foods we had prepared in a beautiful arrangement on the wooden dining table with glass top surrounded with tropical flowers design. The kids- my cousins began singing, full of innocent energy because they knew that there was a cash price waiting for them. We unwrapped the gifts happily while my Lola was playing gracefully Christmas songs on the piano.

Everyone was enjoying the Christmas Eve when my phone started buzzing, I had a call but it was an unknown number that's why I didn't receive it. I don't answer a call that wasn't on my phonebook, unless the caller will send me a message first. I missed three calls from the unfamiliar number, my cousin who was seated on my side asked me if why am I not answering my phone call and I just told him that it was not really that important. After five minutes, I received three consecutive text messages from the same number but the content was all the same and it says:

"Hi Lheam, how are you now? Are you ok now? I hope that you can forgive me soon from everything that I've done to you, all the pain that I've caused you. I miss you. Merry Merry Christmas to you Lheam."

I was taken aback by the unexpected messages from Cizar after more than two weeks, but like I promised myself, I didn't entertain him and didn't reply to his message.

New Year Eve arrived and I had received again another message from Cizar just like the last that he had sent me. Asking if how am I doing and greeting me a; Happy New Year. But I held on my promised to myself, I didn't reply him. Astonishing fireworks was all over the sky around the town breaking the silence, and I was thankful for it because of the light it's giving to the world, to my new world.

Things had changed on how I am reacting when I happened to encounter Cizar anywhere; on the staircase, the alleyway, at the terrace and even at the rooftop. He was forcing himself to smile sometimes, unsure because he doesn't know if I am going to reciprocate his smile. On my part, I'm deadly serious in ignoring him that is why I'm always displaying a blank facial reaction whenever I see him. Valentine's Day came and it is also the foundation week of our school, I received again another message from Cizar greeting me; "Happy Valentines Lheam", but I just ignored it because even though my heart was still beating for him, the anger that was inside me was stronger.