I woke up due to my dad's loud voice booming through the house. I hung up on Jahseh because I didn't want him to hear that and he was sleep anyways I checked the time and it was 12:14am. The loudness of my dads voice made me shake. I was then receiving texts from Jahseh.
🥵Seh🥵
Is something wrong?
I feel your energy
Mama🥺
Answer me
You must just be having a bad dream
Text me when you get this
I continued hearing my dad's loud yelling until I fell asleep.
-
The next morning
I woke up for school and did my morning routine. I walked to the bus stop very early because I wanted to get away from home. I was lost in my thoughts when I was pulled back by my arm. I looked up seeing Jahseh. He looked worried and mad.
"Why weren't you answering my texts?" He questioned
"I just had a lot on my mind" I said
"Are you sure?" He asked
"Yeah" I lied looking down
He lifted my head up by my chin
"Don't lie to me mama" he says
I sighed breaking eye contact
"Look at me" he says
"Tell me....what happened?" He asked calmly
"My dad was drinking again" I admitted
"Oh...I'm sorry...I didn't know" he apologizes
"Seh stop blaming yourself" I say
"But that still doesn't explain why you weren't answering my texts" he says
"I was just in panic mode and I couldn't think straight and-" I was cut off by Jahseh pecking my lips softly.
"It's okay....I didn't mean for it to stress you out" he apologized
"It's fine Seh" I say
-
The whole day at school Jahseh was a little quiet. It was lunch time and I didn't see him there. I went to go look for him. He was on the stairs with his head in his hands.
"Seh?" I said
He looked up at me
"Hey mama" he says sadly
"What's wrong?" I asked
"I just feel bad that you have to go through this every other day and I wish I could do something about it and I can't" he says
"It's okay Seh....it's not your fault...you can't control My dad's decisions" I comfort him sitting next to him while rubbing his back.
"I know it has a big effect on you and you hate dealing with it. That's where the 'I don't wanna be here anymore so I can get away' comes from and it'll literally break me in anything happened to you. I just feel like-" I grabbed his jawline, turning his head and placing my lips on his. I felt him kiss back. I pulled away and he looked like a weight was lifted off his shoulders.
By the time that happened we had to go to our next class. We headed there and continued with our day.
-
It was the end of the day and we were waiting for the bus. My head was down as I was getting lost in my thought of what I would go back home to.
"Keep your head up Babygirl" Jahseh says as he lifts my head up by my chin.
I blushed at the new name
"You always blushin" he laughed
"Shut up" I laughed
-
We got off the bus and walked to my house. We made little conversation until it came to an end.
"Okay...I gotta get home" he says
"Okay" I said
"I love you" he says pecking my lips
"I love you too" I says
He then walked home.
-
I walked up to the front door and I could hear my parents arguing from outside. I rolled my eyes, walked in the house.
"Tell that Jahseh nigga to back the fuck up" he shouted
"He didn't even do anything" I say
"Let me find out he's playin witcho heart" he shouts
"Jahseh doesn't even talk to any other girls" I say
"Shut the fuck up" my mom yells at him
I went up to my room, changed and layed in my bed listening to the argument.
I just felt like cutting. I grabbed a razor blade and slid it a across my wrist, making 4 different cuts.
-
I started receiving texts from Jahseh
🥵Seh🥵
You busy?
Mama I wanna be otp with you😭
You good?
Bae stop ignoring me
You're worrying me
Please let me know you're okay
Please mama🥺
-
They stopped arguing and I decided to FaceTime Jahseh.
"Why weren't you answering m- what's wrong?" He says seeing my eyes were red and it looks I've been crying.
"I'm fine" I said walking downstairs where my parents were in the kitchen.
"Then why were you crying?" He questioned
"Because I felt like it" I said
"Mamas...I'm not gonna allow you to bottle up your emotions.....just tell me" he said as I walked back up the stairs.
"They were just arguing" I admitted
"Oh...it's okay mama....you don't have to cry" he says
"I'm okay now" he say
-
We talked for a few hours before he fell asleep. I fell asleep as well.
