Behind You (gxg)

H - is for Hiccups

I couldn't stop falling, couldn't get my bearings. The sky was star filled yet it felt like a light show due to the speed at which I was dropping. It felt endless. And just as I thought that I would die from the fear and speed, I felt a pair of feathered wings engulf me from the bottom, as if shielding me from a fatal impact. Although the plummeting did not stop, I felt a peace come over me as I could feel the warmth of the being protecting me. I tried to look around but all I could see was darkness and the movement of coal-coloured feathers ruffling in the wind. Through the feathers I still felt the rushing air, but my focus had shifted to the whispering voice repeating "I won't let you go; I won't let you go."

I awoke to tears sliding down my face staining the pillow with little misshaped splotches. I had suddenly felt unbearably alone and knew I had to get out of my bed despite the 4am blaring reminder of a lost night. I stepped out of my bedroom and headed to the kitchen to prep a cup of coffee; if I was going to stay up, I might as well be somewhat functioning. Even though I was only on the second floor of the building, I still got a small terrace to watch the sun rise from. And that was exactly where I headed to once my coffee was potent enough to wake the dead.

I didn't know how long I was going to stay out there sitting and watching the world, but there was a peace to it that made me forget about time. Just like always, I felt someone or something behind me. But this time, it didn't feel so daunting, rather almost pleasant; making me feel a little less alone.

Once the sun had woken up, yawned, and stretched, I realized I should probably start getting ready for my day. A part of me wanted to send Lilah a 'good morning' text, but to be honest, I had no idea where we were at. Sure, we've hung out on two separate occasion, and we've properly kissed, but were we now dating? You'd think that having all that time on the terrace would have brought me some revelation. Am I overthinking this? Yes.

I had decided that that was enough dwelling on the matter for the morning and started to get ready. Luckily it was Friday which meant that the weekend was finally here and I was excited to once again go out dancing. I try to go as often as possible as I just need that outlet of movement and music. It's easy to lose oneself in a crowd of strangers in strobe lights and neon outfits.

As I was getting organized to leave for work- keys, wallet, bus pass, pants, check- I felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket. Damn, I forget to check if I even had it on me. Good thing someone texted me eh?

Lilah 🌙: Hey good morning! Thanks again for a great evening... see you at the daycare... I mean probably, right?

Fuck, she's cute. I like a woman who takes initiative!

I texted her back and said I was on my way there currently, and then paused before I pressed 'send'. Should I ask her out? Maybe she'll want to go dancing again? I know I would definitely enjoy feeling her body pressed against mine as we danced the night away. Her hands on my hips... mine entangled in her hair... grinding against one another... okay calm down Noa, you don't have time for this!

Noa: By the way, I'd love to go dancing with – Whoops dropped my phone and my keys like a klutz. Great job Noa, I thought I was properly awake by now? Let's try this again.

Noa: By the way, I'd love to go dancing with you this weekend again if you're up to it

I paused a few moments to see if she would respond immediately but she hadn't. Well, maybe I'll see her at the daycare.

I had arrived at work and was putting my bag away when I was swarmed by toddlers excited about the 'field trip' today; which I completely blanked out on. Yikes! The way it worked, was that any kid who did not have a signed permission form and packed backpack, would have to stay behind in the infant room, or just didn't show today. We still had about 17 kids with backpacks, sunscreen, and snacks to look after at the nearby splash pad (local water park). We needed to have one daycare worker per four kids, but since we had a kid extra, we had a parent thankfully volunteer to join us. Although a trip to the park seems simple enough, it wasn't; there is a lot to prepare.