Behind You (gxg)

J - is for Jolt

Do you ever just hold onto that moment before you open your eyes, where you're awake but not quite aware yet that you're not sleeping anymore? It feels like minutes of just rebooting your senses, but really, only a second or two passes. And then your eyes open wide and start to process your surroundings.

Where am I?

It seemed that I was in a bed with the softest blue sheets, and a puffy duvet cover cocooning me. I moved my legs underneath the covers and felt them bare. I quickly felt myself over to find that I was in a t-shirt and just my boxers; at least I'm not naked. I started to look around the room and noticed a photo on the nightstand of Lilah holding a laughing Uri in the air.

Lilah.

Memories started flooding back along with a dull ache in my head and bones. The images of those black wings swarmed my mind and the overpowering voice saying "I won't let you go" started playing on loop. I didn't remember anything after that. But I was awake enough to realize that I was probably in Lilah's bed and that something very strange- for lack of a better word- was going on with her.

Were those her wings? What is she? The questions swarmed, and my body felt heavier by the second. That lead feeling started to sink in my bones and I couldn't stop thinking "not now, not now."

And then another question planted itself in my brain, "did Lilah and I fuck last night?"

As if the thought triggered some sort of cosmic telepathic message, I heard the bedroom door creak open and footsteps slowly make their way into the room. I didn't feel like I was ready to face reality, so I burrowed into the puffy duvet and shut my eyes.

I could feel the presence of someone kneeling in front of me and I tried not to peek from under the blanket, but something inside me craved seeing those soft eyes. I knew they were hers.

"Hi" I finally peeked from underneath the blanket. I tried to keep my heartbeat under control and think about what I would say to her, but once I saw her eyes, my mind went absolutely blank.

"How are you feeling Noa?" She asked hesitantly, as if unsure of how to approach me. It's not everyday that you're dancing with someone and then they pass out because of a possible hallucination. A part of me still hoped that it was just a hallucination.

"Confused" I mumbled and shifted so that I was sitting up. I scratched my head and messed up my bed-head more. "What happened Lilah? How did I get here?"

"Oh... um, well, I brought you back here since I didn't know where you lived... you sort of passed out on the dance floor..." Now she avoided eye contact.

I took the leap of faith, "but how did I get here... I doubt you carried me all the way over... I remember seeing something like, wings?" My voice somewhat hitched at the end and I could feel the part-question part-statement hanging in the air like the tension that had formed. I raised an eyebrow at Lilah when she didn't reply.

"Lilah...?"

"I was just trying to protect you, I-" We both turned our head to the doorway as Uri walked in babbling about some TV show. As soon as he registered the situation in the room he stopped and looked from his mom to me before asking, "Can I go on the bed too?"

Both Lilah and I weren't too sure how to respond but we sort of said "sure" at the same time as Uri's face burst into a big smile. He clambered up the bed and sat right in the middle before flopping dramatically onto the pillow next to me. "Hi" He gushed up at me. I guess this kid really liked the bed? I mean it was pretty damn comfy.

"Ima, come, you too!" He squealed as he tried to nudge me to make some room so that Lilah could get in from the other side, that way he'd be sandwiched. We both shrugged our shoulders, and in a way were glad that some of the tension in the room was lifted. Although I still had quite a few unanswered questions.