My 16 months Mission

Preparations: The Doom

Perhaps my Physical preparations is the thing attacking by Satan so that I cannot go to serve the Lord.

My leaders asked to comply a Medical Certification from a licensed doctor that certifies my ability to meet the physical demands in my mission. To make it possible, it is prerequisite for me to undergo some laboratory test like CT-Scan to figure it out.

Anyways, the reason why they have to asked me with this is because I am a person with disability. I am not able to run, play basketball, or do an extreme physical activities.

I got mild stroke when I was 15 years old due to over fatigues when I was working to the juice manufacturer. It leaves a big scars in my Physical condition even up to the present.

It is a part of my life that I regretted so much and I wish I can erase it. It stole my youth..

It took me almost 1 and a half year to partially recover and be able to walk by myself.

It begin when I finished my 1st year in High School that I've decided to come to the invitation of my cousin to work in their place with my elder brother at Cagayan De Oro City. One also of the reasons why I decided to work is my eagerness to go to other places and meet other faces. It feels better at first to get together with other people. I was able to be with different environment as I was expected but it doesn't always a happy moments if you are not with your family. I felt homesick so many times and I always dreaming about going home but it always come to my mind that I went there to work and so I can help my family.

After a couple of months working there, my eagerness to go back home still remains so I pushed myself to get busy instead so I won't mind thinking going back home and have focus on my work.

I was the youngest among the employees. I was just 14 years old when I got there. My job is a sealer, that what I thought but because I was stay in my cousin's ( he is also my employer/boss) house while working, I also have to work household chores and any other work I could do.

In our job as juice manufacturer, we mostly end the day late and also have to wake up early to start even before having breakfast, we always work overtime to catch up with the orders needed. And most of the time, I was the one assigned to cook for our meals and sometimes wash the dishes and other things needed to be done...maybe that's the nature when you are the youngest in your work place. I didn't mind that I've been abusing myself with the job I had as long as I have money to send to my family. And in the first place, I don't have a character that easily complain and quit as long as my strength allows.

About 5 months after, my elder brother who was with me in the work have to go back home for some reason about school. I also longing to go home with him. I miss my family so much but I chose to stay so I could help them. I planned that I will just wait for next enrollment before I go home to finish my high school and earn the payments needed for it. I pushed myself to work and work and work so I could conquer my home sickness. I didn't mind that my body have been abused working late and wake up early, do household chores in almost every day routine. It was very tough days working overly in my young and unmatured body. I was just telling myself to wait and wait and be strong. Whenever it comes in my mind going home, my eyes went wet and I couldn't help to cry at night. I just wished that I could be with my family again.

The month of November is approaching and it almost a month when my brother went back home, I got sick. My body chills and like my head wants to explode, and I'm having nightmares whenever I tend to sleep as well as my body feels numb. There was one time that I was frightened for no reason. And my tear falls on my face, I don't know why...all I know is that I want to go home so bad. My boss consulted me to the doctor for a check up. The doctor only did physical examinations and tests. I didn't undergo through any laboratory test but my boss said that the doctor found out that I was under the influence of elligal drugs. I don't know why the doctor say that. But I know to myself I didn't take any elligal drugs. I was just once tasted my co-worker's smoke that they said it's marijuana about a couple of weeks ago and it smells bad so I didn't tried to do it since then before the consultation.

One morning, I feel a little bit better but I feel that some part of my body is still numb and weakens my right leg. My boss called everybody to prepare. They wanted to spend the Holy week in my cousin's place where her mother is our neighbor. He also told me about some belief we had that our late grandmother might have missed me that's why I got sick...he smiled... I was so happy to hear those words that I may be home at last. We traveled then and I am so excited to see my home again.

As soon as we arrived, we have decided that I'll stay to fully recover. I was so happy even if I'm not fully recovered because I know I could rest from stress and fatigues.

I still feel numb on my knees. I rested a lot to regain my strength. I was happy to sleep next to my siblings. We lay on the living room with my siblings just like before and it feels so good. I tell myself, I'm finally home and we slept.

In the morning about 5am, I noticed someone in the kitchen... It was my mom...she saw me staring at her, she then said that she had prepared a chocolate drink for me...she called me to come to the kitchen while it still hot....she then left...A little while when she's gone... I tried to get up... I feel a little numb on my knees but I know I can endure it so I tried to go to the kitchen... While walking, I have to pass my siblings who lay before me sleeping.... I tried to keep walking like a cat so they won't be disturb.... As I land my right foot, it weakens and I lose my balance and I stumbled..... I fell over my brother sleeping while my head hit to edge of our wall and I lay unconscious....

It was the day of my doom...