Chasing After The Wind [P.JM]

XIX

KIM YUN-SEO'S POV

오전 10시 02 분

His home looked extravagant, I'm not even exaggerating. I'd love to live here, but I don't think this guy would want that. It was quiet inside as I followed behind Jimin who was turning on the lights. "You live alone?" I asked, receiving a nod from him. "Wow, in this huge place? Hmm, do you want me to live with you? I mean, you could get lonely sometimes... I don't mind staying here," I sat comfortably on the big sofa, watching as he made his way to the bedroom.

It was super silent except his footsteps and my continuous tapping on the floor due to a bit of excitement. "Here, take a shower. You stink," he joked, tossing a bunch of clothes at me. For some reason, I felt better — even better than when he found me in the snowstorm. To add up to the enlightening feeling, I rendered myself to think that someone actually cares about me, even if it was just me thinking so. I'm sure Jimin only thought I looked pathetic there, leaving him no choice but to take me. I had to do at least that to alleviate the pain, even just a little bit.

Even the shower felt so nice, and it's like I wanted to live there forever. In this place where no one criticizes me for not reaching their expectations. Ruffling my hair to dry, I walked out the bathroom and quickly inhaled the inviting smell of... pancakes. How much better can this day be? I really hope I'm not dreaming. Even just for today, I wanted to be happy, without having to think of pleasing anyone else.

He looked at me briefly and I smiled widely at him, "how do I look? It's not too loose on me, actually. Are these like, a 14 year-old's clothes?"

Jimin squinted his eyes and glared instead, "Shut up, I bought that only three years ago." I imitated an overreacting surprised face, causing him to get even more annoyed. He rolled his eyes at me and got back to cooking.

I sat in the dining room and thought how picturesque this scene was. Someone was cooking for me, and it made my heart so happy. Am I so inexperienced of these types of things? Sometimes, I really pity myself for havinng to live this way. I never got to see anyone actually show their care in actions, for me.

He finished after a while, bringing the food onto the table. Across me was Jimin, who focused so much on his own plate rather than me who was in front of him - a living thing. What do I expect? He's Jimin.

Forking one onto my plate, I looked for a certain thing that was nonexistent on the table. How could it be missing? "Something's missing." The syrup, where is it? "Hey, do you have any syrup?"

He stood up and grabbed something from the cupboard, the syrup. Jimin sat back down after handing me the syrup, "You remind me of someone." I wasn't sure what to feel, but if anyone, it's probably a name I know but not too well. Trying to lift up the mood, I joked, "Whoever that someone is, I'm way better than him or her. But I already know it's going to be a her."

Jimin ignored me, but not as coldly as usual. I'm guessing I should be grateful for that. I drizzled a lot of it on the pancakes and took a few bites which were so satisfying - not only because I haven't properly eaten since yesterday noon. It was good, I wonder if it's his specialty dish. "It's really good, do you cook this often?"

"It's my second—" Jimin paused, "no... my third time." He said, his eyes seemed to be looking for something — I was clueless, however, of what he was looking for. It looked more like longing, though. His faint smile told me everything, and it took me back to last night. I made a huge mistake, he must've been really hurt by her, until now. Now I only think of that Saerin when I see his eyes frown. Why did I even ask about her?

After eating, Jimin and I sat in the living room, a safe distance keeping us apart though I kinda hate it. "It's still early. I'll drive you to the university." He insisted, but I shook my head constantly, "No. I don't even have my bag with me. How about you? Aren't you going to work?"

He also shook his head, saying, "I'll have to look after you because you'll probably cry like a baby if I leave you here."

"You're not wrong there!" I grinned at his statement, both of us laughing quietly. "But for real though. I don't want to be a burden to you."

Jimin raised an eyebrow and replied after a short moment of silence. "You're not a burden, Yunseo."

Jimin was in the dining room, reading a book on his own, while I was in the living room, stealing glances as I pretend to watch the television. I never thought I'd be attracted to someone simply reading a book. Is that a side-effect of being so study-oriented? He looked up and met my gaze, giving me a puzzled look. "What are you looking at?"

"Oh, don't mind me. Just admiring my future Yeobo..." I smiled proudly at my remark, but was startled to see him smile slightly as he looked away, even giggling. This guy, he's probably fallen for me already! "Oooh, looks like someone's liking it." I teased, unable to hold back my laughter. At that time, I was really overwhelmed with happiness. These simple things, they were enough to make me forget what had happened lately.

PARK JI-MIN'S POV

오전 1시 29 분

The room was dark and I couldn't keep track of time, but I'm sure it was in the middle of the night when I heard muffled crying outside my bedroom. I couldn't keep myself from getting up to see where it was coming from, so I did. It was quiet, of course, everyone in this building would have been asleep by now. All I heard was crying, though, and it sounded like it was coming from the living room.

Squinting my eyes to see better, I found a woman on the couch, hugging her knees as she cried. I could tell that she was attempting to do it silently, as her face was down too. Soon enough, I realized that it was Yunseo, who had stayed the night saying she didn't want to go home. It was only yesterday that this girl was cracking cheesy jokes. It was so strange to see her cry that night. But I did what I had to do anyway.

I sat close to her, pulling her to rest on my chest as I hushed her by gently caressing her hair. She wasn't muttering a word, but was constantly crying instead. This felt so familiar, awfully familiar. Seeing her like that broke my heart for a reason I was uncertain of. I felt scared, though. I was scared to comfort her. It's like everything was repeating, and I was so scared. It was terrifying to hold someone who was crying, and I really wasn't sure why. But one thing was for sure, I could never go back to sleep if I left her like this. I sang a soft melody, until she calmed herself to sleep.

I want you to be your light
You should be your light
So you won't hurt anymore,
so you can smile more
I want you to be your night
You could be your night
I'll be honest with you tonight

Now promise me
Several times a day
Even if you feel that you are alone
Don't throw yourself away.

i wondered
what it was,
a feeling that
felt so beautiful
yet so terrifying.