Chasing After The Wind [P.JM]

XXV

KIM YUN-SEO'S POV

오전 8시 49 분

It was morning after long hours of staying up because of my overly crowded mind. I barely slept, and now the sun was out and knocking on the window. I really couldn't get my mind off of every single word Jimin said. Last night, there was a lot of revelation that I wasn't sure what to feel about.

After thinking for a while, I tried to call Jimin, and surprisingly, he answered although it took pretty long for him to pick up. "Hey, can we talk?" I asked, hoping that he would really agree to that.

"About last night, thank you for taking me home." He spoke so formally and it somehow broke my heart to see how distant we now are. I could not even hear a bit of sincerity in his words, it sounded so cold, probably on purpose. "And what I said last night, just don't mind it. I get talkative when I'm too drunk. I must've lost my mind then."

"Can we talk, though?" I said in a soft tone, careful not to sound so nosy and... annoying as I always am. Hearing him sigh, it already gave me a bad feeling. But what he said was even worse. "What for? There's nothing to talk about. And... I'm busy."

"But—" I couldn't even say more when he cut me off by saying, "This is the last time I'll answer your call. Please delete my number after this." And with that, he hung up.

I have to say, I was really grief-stricken then. His words cut quite deep but what he said last night — it was enough to keep me going. The Yunseo I know wouldn't give up so easily, so... I didn't.

We had no class today, fortunately, so there was nothing much to stress about except this Jimin who stays consistently arrogant and mean to me. I don't get why he's doing this, really.

I took a shower and dressed up, also preparing my mental condition because I was sure I was up for some heart wrenching stuff later. Either way, I was not letting this chance slip. I'm not like Jimin, no way.

Where else would I head to? Of course, the dance studio. Taking a walk going there made me sweat a bit, but not much as the weather was pretty chilly. I entered the building and asked the lady behind the counter if he knew where Jimin was. She simply said he was still teaching so I had no choice but to wait.

Waiting there for hours, I almost fell asleep, for real. But it all payed off when I saw him, his presence really made my chest feel lighter — though he might break my heart again very soon. Our eyes met but he avoided my gaze and passed me by. Little does he know I'm still the stubborn, annoying girl he once smiled at.

"Jimin!" I followed him out but he continued to walk towards his car. Running past him, I blocked him from getting inside the car. He did not look pleased at all. His piercing gaze was enough to make a hole through the car window.

Jimin grabbed my wrist and pulled me to a less crowded area. He stood there and stared — or more like glared at me. "What do you want?"

"Are you really gonna tell me to leave after making me feel that way? Just like that?" I protested, relieved that I was finally able to get it off my chest. "Everything you said last night.. why? You make it seem like you hate me but you said it yourself last night!"

"I already told you through the phone. I wasn't sober, why would you believe those..." He spoke, anger no longer visible in his voice. Instead, he sounded worn out.

"You would never say that if you didn't mean it!" I was almost yelling, good thing there weren't a lot of passerbys. He was quiet for a moment, until he spoke up. "If I make it clear to you that I don't like you, will that make you stop?"

His words, whether they were a lie or not, they hurted. It stabbed real deep in the chest. I was almost about to break, "Why are you doing this to me? Why do you always make me chase you?"

"No one told you to chase me, Yunseo." He furrowed his eyebrows, I could feel that he was suppressing himself so much right now. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because I like you! And I know you feel the same way so why are you holding back?" I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. He stood there, silent. "I don't—"

I pulled him by his nape, our faces close to each other. I just stared at him intently, observing how he was reacting. He looked startled and — flustered. I placed a hand on his heart and said, "Now tell me. Do you feel nothing? You can't lie to your own heart."

We were like that, both breathing heavily until he pulled away slightly. "I don't want to hurt you. I don't want you to feel the same way I felt before." He placed his hand on mine, on his beating heart. "This still beats for Saerin."

"I... know.." I took my hand away and stood straight, though my knees were weak during that moment. "I'm aware of that. I've always been. And I don't mind getting hurt, if it means I might fix you."

"You can't. You can't, Yunseo." He looked down, eyes clouded with despair. How could someone be so hopeless? It was such an eyesore to see him still suffer. I badly wanted to help him, make him feel that there's more to that one heartbreak, that something else can make him happy. Someone else.

"You never know until you try." I smiled, taking his hand. He looked at me and sighed, a faint smile forming on his lips afterwards.